Today on I don’t think my mom’s/brother’s behavior is healthy
So this actually happened a couple of days ago, but whatever. I had just walked into my greek house when I saw my friend (let’s call her K). She looked upset (to me, anyway). Keep in mind, she’s a very caring person, has never yelled at me in any way, and has always made me feel welcome and appreciated. When I saw her face alarm bells immediately went off. All I could think was, oh fuck, she’s mad, I better not say anything to her or else she’ll yell at me (this is common behavior for both my mom and younger brother).
So I just sat there, doing my hw. But then my dog decided to cause some trouble. See, someone had strung up some lights in the sitting room, and they were right near a poster than was still drying and that had lots of glitter on it. My dog, who I had brought with me to the house, got excited about the other dog in the room and her tail knocked over the lights, which smudged some of the glitter on the poster (which my friend K had made). Once again, I waited to be yelled at (again, a common behavior of my mom’s/brother’s).
I was frozen for a moment, because usually (especially in my brother’s case), if someone goes wrong, it’s better to keep your mouth shut than ask him if you can help him. But K didn’t yell, so I quietly offered to help her clean up the glitter that had gotten on the lights. She said she was good, she said she wasn’t mad, and she didn’t yell at me. I was so confused.
And this was yet another moment when I realized how toxic (abusive?) my mom and younger brother’s behaviors are. It’s not normal to expect your friend to yell at you for talking to them just because they’re in a bad mood. It’s not normal to expect your friend to yell at you (and maybe even curse at you) for making a small mistake and preferring to stay silent so they don’t direct their anger of the situation at you.
But that’s what my mom and younger brother have done to me
