#toxic terrors

[drizzled-cake]

weird question yall, but do any of you remember this brand of trading cards? Idk what its called but there are two series’ of these cards I know of; purple cards about monsters and supernatural creatures (Monsers of the Mind), and hot pink cards about venomous animals (Toxic Terrors). I discovered Toxic Terrors in 3rd grade while researching asian cobras, then from there I found monsters of the mind and would always ask my mom to use her phone to look up pictures of the monster cards just to read the stories. I fuckin loved these things and I wanna know if anyone out here has a shared experience  

[orokinarchives]

Toxic Terrors

10 December 2014 – 17 December 2014

Mission

On Wednesday (10 December), the alert became available and was set to run for a week. The Tenno received an inbox message from the Lotus.

Inbox message: Toxic Terrors

Tenno,

We have received word that the Grineer have captured specimens of a rare and deadly species of Serberis, a reptile indigenous to Earth. Extracting a toxin from their mouth glands, they have been able to use the poison to make the whips of Scorpion soldiers even more lethal. You must meet this new threat head-on and eliminate them.

—The Lotus

The Toxic Terrors Tactical Alert took the form of an Exterminate mission on the Grineer Forest tileset on Earth, and there was a Conclave rating restriction of 700 or lower. There were a large number of Scorpions among the Grineer forces, and all enemy units dealt additional Toxin damage. Each Scorpion killed granted a point (even if the mission failed), which were tracked cumulatively. Once the Tenno collected 50 points, they would receive an inbox message from the Lotus with a Nistlebrush sigil.

Inbox message: Success!

You have quelled this new threat from the Grineer. Take this with my gratitude.

—The Lotus

After the Tenno acquired 100 points, they would be rewarded with a Stratos emblem.

Inbox message: Mission Accomplished

You went above the call of duty today, Tenno. The skill you displayed will inspire your fellow warriors. Wear this, so that they will know what has been achieved here today.

—The Lotus

[Navigation: Hub → Events → Tactical Alerts → Toxic Terrors]

[pessimistpress]

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors No. 22 The Detectives

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors

 By Doctor Pessimist

 Toxic Terror No. 22

The Detectives

 Ladies and gentlemen, I must once again reference Pokémon for this one. The Detectives are the evolved form of Broadcasters; it’s not enough for them to simply publicly broadcast your activities. These Toxic Terrors are similar to Private Eyes – when it comes to questioning your motives. They have to investigate every single thing you do; they follow your social media footprints, see what posts you’ve liked, and so on.

 The lovely, and toxic, Ms. Feminist used to work with a gentleman who was quite the Detective. He often inquired as to what people did over the weekends – making it sound like he was gathering information. He wound up at people’s rendezvous points – pretending it was a coincidence – just to get more information. Anyway, karma struck him down; he was eventually fired, and someone stole his information.

 And now, it is time for me to offer some sage advice. First, I suggest you confront these Detectives, and calmly advise them to back off; inform them that you dislike them questioning your every move. Second, if they persist, I advise you to warn your comrades of what is happening – so that they can offer you some aid. And lastly, if you fear the Detective is evolving into a Stalker, you may need to get the law involved.

 Stay negative.

[pessimistpress]

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors No. 21 Leeches

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors

 By Doctor Pessimist

 Toxic Terror No. 21

Leeches

 It’s common knowledge that leeches are parasitic creatures. They latch onto their host, drink their fill until they’ve had enough, and they eventually move on.  Leeches, as in the nickname for this type of Toxic Terror, are rather similar. They borrow your possessions; eat your food; live off your money; crash at your place and so on. These Toxic Terrors most commonly target weak-minded individuals who cannot say no.

 There’s another type of Leech called the Emotion Leech; they feed off of people’s emotions (regardless if they’re positive or negative). I knew a girl back in High School, who was both types of Leeches: She latched onto guys, by using her womanly charms, and had different boys give her presents and food. She once tried pulling this stunt with me; when she saw that I was somehow immune, she moved onto another host.

 Like other Toxic Terrors, Leeches often come in different forms; so extreme caution is advised. First, you must try using diplomacy; explain that you do not want them leeching off you. Next, you could always tell them aggressively that they’re behaving like parasites (but that will make you look like the bad guy). If these methods do not work, my other suggestion is that you fight fire with fire by leeching off them...

 Stay negative.

[pessimistpress]

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors No.20 Addictive Toxic Terrors

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors

 By Doctor Pessimist

 Toxic Terror No.20

Addictive Toxic Terrors

 Addictive Toxic Terrors are similar to addictive substances – they are someone you cannot live without. These Toxic Terrors are no different to other addictions; they’ll get you hooked, allowing you to tag along everywhere, and they soon cut you out of their lives. After that, you’ll suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms; you’ll try and contact them, you’ll suffer lonely nights, and you might do something reckless, too.

 I know of a woman, who was once married to an Addictive Toxic Terror. Her husband was a businessman, and she worshipped him. She was that obsessed that her heart ached when they were apart. He, on the other hand, just strung her along. One night, the woman came home late from work, and she caught her husband entertaining a guest in their bedroom. She divorced him, took half of his belongings, and became Ms. Feminist.

 And now, ladies and gentlemen, here’s how to deal with these Toxic Terrors. First, you must take caution, as they can camouflage themselves as ordinary people. Second, make sure the person you’re with is actually Toxic Terror, and do not accidentally break the heart of someone pure (like a certain depressed super villain has). Finally, when you have successfully proven that they are a Toxic Terror, cut them out of your life.

 Stay negative.

[pessimistpress]

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors No.17 Prejudice Pirates

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors

 By Doctor Pessimist

 Toxic Terror No.17

Prejudice Pirates

 Once again, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for another one of Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors. In this week’s article, I’ll be talking about Prejudice Pirates.

 You humans commonly call these Toxic Terrors “Xenophobes” or “Xenophobic” – but I decided to dub them Prejudice Pirates. Just like my Pronunciation Pirate article, my inspiration derives from real life pirates. And just like actual pirates, xenophobes only accept those who they see as part of their crew. These Toxic Terrors frequently mock and ridicule those who do not follow their religion, their way of life, or even speak their native tongue.

 Prejudice Pirates come in all shapes and forms, ladies and gentlemen; sometimes they’re easy to spot, while other times it is quite difficult. From a young age, they are taught to behave disgracefully towards anyone and anything foreign to them. They believe any lie fed to them by the media and even the words from their quasi-brethren. Thus, this encourages them to act violently, and spread their hatred as to wherever they roam.

 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I cannot suggest on how you can deal with these Toxic Terrors; as many of them are extremely stubborn, and do not want to change their ways. The good news, however, is I know how I can deal with them; it involves me inducing mass pessimism to every Earth, and curing humans of their misplaced enthusiasm.

 Stay negative.

[pessimistpress]

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors No.15 Charity Crusaders

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors

 By Doctor Pessimist

 Toxic Terror No.15

Charity Crusaders

 I would like to clarify that this rant is not aimed against those who genuinely aid the less-fortunate. It is intended to expose those who do not practise what they preach. A majority of the time, these Charity Crusaders like to take the form of a popular celebrity. They often appear in advertisements, or charity specials, and guilt the working class into donating their money. (And yes, I am aware there are some celebrities who actually care, so behave.)

 When I first evolved, I just so happened to bump into a Charity Crusader. She fitted the description and had a disturbing smile on her face. She wanted me to donate money to the pandas, and even attempted to guilt me into it. I exposed the fact that she was a hypocrite, for not donating the cause she was representing, and she was only after a quick and easy job. She then burst into tears – she agreed with me and donated her own money.

 And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is what I suggest on how to deal with these Charity Crusaders. Instead of giving your money to them, you could always directly give it to whomever, or whatever needs it. You must build up immunity against the Crusader’s manipulation techniques. I suggest you must get them to actually care for the cause, showing them they actually have to do something, and of course, join Team Pessimist!

 Stay negative.

[pessimistpress]

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors No.13 Cavemen

Doctor Pessimist’s Toxic Terrors

 By Doctor Pessimist

 Toxic Terror No.13

Cavemen

 More than millions of years ago, man used to live in caves. These primitive men wore loincloths, whacked women on the head with their clubs, and dragged them back to their caves. They also whacked their brethren on the heads, as well as hunting down wild animals. One would think that after countless years of evolution, men would no longer be so brutish.

 In today’s society, there are some human males with the caveman mentality – and I have dubbed them as Toxic Terrors. The Cavemen are brain-dead; they frequent bars and have brawls in the streets during late hours. They sit in their armchairs, drinking their beer, watching their sports, and expect their partners to play housemaid. These Neanderthals are a poor misrepresentation of the male gender, and I find them severely depressing.

 Once again, it is time for me to tell you a story involving Ms. Feminist. Her younger sister used to be married to a Caveman: He was brutish, lazy, moronic and extremely sexist. And yet, when Ms. Feminist’s sister first met him, he was actually quite the opposite. To deal with this Caveman, Ms. Feminist personally requested my services. After I had a good long chat with him, he had to be heavily institutionalised.

 And now to conclude my rant on Cavemen: I want women to know that these Cavemen do not represent all of us men. There are guys like me who are sophisticated, who aren’t lazy and are capable of treating women with respect. And to my fellow men: we must work harder to prove that we aren’t all Cavemen, and we must reform these Toxic Terrors immediately. (Alternatively, I could just depress all of you instead.)

 Stay negative.