Advice for Remy, Day 247. Be safety conscious (just don’t take tips on it from your nanny). I’m generally a very cautious person. I worry about everything. Things going wrong, things getting lost, things breaking, people getting hurt, and just about most other things you can worry about. I try to keep a lid on it and not let it rule me, but it does mean that, much to the frustration of your mum a lot of the time, I tend to be the voice of “We shouldn’t do this” or “We can’t do that”. But I just want to keep everyone safe. I probably get it from your nanny, who is commonly known as the Health and Safety Inspector of the Rook family. Her aversion to her offspring or her offspring’s offspring so much as riding a bike has become the stuff of legend, and her threats to let down the tyres of any motorised two wheeled vehicles owned by the aforementioned is a threat I feel is rooted in truth. Take this scene from our day with her today. Tonnes of toys laid out. Nice, you may think. She wants her grandchildren to have fun. Well, upon deeper investigation it turned out that the reason she was so insistent in bringing so many of these boxes down from upstairs was to form a barrier between you and the fireplace, so you couldn’t fall on it and hurt yourself. I tell you, as the Daily Mail would say, it’s health and safety gone made. Well, you’re made of sterner stuff than that. You saw those boxes, steeled yourself, found a way through, fell over and hurt yourself anyway. So there you go. There’s probably a moral here somewhere but I feel I’ve somewhat lost the point. Basically be safe. Or, if you can’t be safe, injure yourself in a deeply ironic way.