old ashswags except my design for him depends on the smp

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old ashswags except my design for him depends on the smp
New purple factionless members’ heart gems! Currently making the dwarfen empire’s but im going insane from where i am supposed to put the tattoos
{Daily drawing 98}
unfinished/unposted realm dump
something about the lifesteal characters all being so similar. pangi, zam, and ash all thinking the people here are too kind, too peaceful, and feeling out of place and uncomfortable as a result. something about the lifesteal characters turning to destruction as their means of returning to what is familiar, to what is comfortable, to something adjacent to their previous lives, their past. to lifesteal.
TR!Ashswag analysis? I guess?
"I wish I was a godly being..." "Its not very fun, I'll tell you that much." / "I can't tell if TrAsh is from Unstable or Lifesteal" "...What's the difference?"
Lifesteal, Unstable Universe, Kaboodle SMP, and The Realm spoilers below for Ashswags characters.
I am thinking about Realmstealers again. As a group. Because both tr!Ash and tr!Pangi in their own ways have acknowledged the ls finale (and Zam was only on for a moment to be silly) and just the fact that after it their minds are set on getting people online and doing something drastic. Them both even mentioning ls indirectly by saying that "they have seen this work before".
It's almost like they experienced the ls finale and realised that that is what the Realm needs and independently of each other decided to bring it on. They saw the activity spark, they saw their friends again, even ones they haven't seen in so long. And especially tr!Pangi longs for it now.
He also is the only realmstealer that is on now (because the rest are at vidcon) and that must feel so isolating.
Because how do you even start to explain the lifesteal finale, how do you start explaining complicated betrayals of trust and standing by someone's side for a loosing fight. How do you put into words the fear of hearing water, while logging on for a second, because you are chunkbaned, and you are trying to escape, but that water might have been your enemies finding your log out spot, that might have been your end.
How do you put into words the tension, the paranoia, the instinct, the feeling that keeps you alive? The constant suspicion, the lack of sleep, the graves of your teammates.
There is nobody around you, who would understand a fraction of that. You would have to spend so long explaining it, and even then what if they won't get it, they never went through it, they never heard your teammate on a call desperately trying to run away, they never built an escape tunel, a staircase. They haven't heard the sound of the armour breaking as you approach your end. The stories you could tell, won't tell the feelings, the air that comes with it.
It's like every realmstealer will get each other on such a different level, because they know the tensions, the feelings, the run and the chase. Tr!Pangi will never question why tr!Zam's castle is so far away, it makes sense really. Tr!Zam will not question tr!Pangi having a kit on him at all times, it just is like that. Tr!Clown will have a base in some random fortress far away, just to enchant and if you told tr!Hannah that, she would no mt have been surprised. They know how and why without the words.
Idk I just wish that vidcon was not happening so soon, because I would have loved to see more realmstealers come back to the realm and see if maybe they would start gravitating together, because it would only make sense, or if they all would be on edge. See if and how their relationships changed. Because like come on would tr!Pangi look at tr!Hannah the same after having her with her whole team fight against him and Zam? Would tr!Hannah still trust tr!Pangi after being one tapped by Spoke, the common enemy, while fighting him and Zam? Would tr!Zam look at tr!Pangi the same after he was his last teammate that showed up? Would she look the same at tr!Clown, someone who is their faction mate, after being trapped in a chunkban by him? How would they all look at tr!Ash, who helped chunkban spawn?
I just need them figuring it all out, and I really do hope that we will get it to someone degree because it makes me bite the walls. Zam you want to log onto the realm soooooo bad /lh
I unfortunately do not have the brain capacity to watch the entirety of Ash's livestreams but so far what im getting from TR!Ash is he's
power hungry, because he always is.
Doesnt remember his origins, because he always doesn’t
Mentally insane, because he always is
Thinks everyone is fucking weird, because he always does.
I think also has trust issues, because he always does.
Finds the corruption (still not sure where tf it came from cause I have never watched The Realm before this) beautiful
Probably is corrupted himself and unaware about it
Not clear which universe (ls, uu...) he is fromt but doesn't matter because both would have him fighting for his lives anyway