anxiety loves misery.
i dont know what is wrong with me! i have a huge head ache and keep snapping at the man i love. why? i have no idea. he doesnt deserve it. i miss him yes i guess. maybe im just angry. it seems that everything he says pisses me off. i think its my own insecurities. i love him i do. could it be that we have grown accustom to each other now? i dont know anymore. oh and valentines is coming up. he didn't get me anything for my birthday so i cant imagine why he would get me something. its just so frustrating for him to treat me like we've been married for 25 years. we have been together for three years (almost) now..although that hardly seems like a lot to me. UGH! I just want to be swept off my feet. i want to feel butterflies and love and blush. i want reread our texts and tell my friends how good he is to me. this is all so hard when he is so damn far away. i miss seeing him everyday and hugging him and friday night red box and little ceasars oh and chipotle & movie hoping. i guess i just miss spending time with me him. i dont know what to do! i get annoyed so easily and i feel so helpless in this relationship. what am i to do? just wait for him? if so how long? and when he comes back will thing be different? we we have grown apart or grow together. when will i ever get flowers again? i prolly sound so ridiculous and totally superficial but is it so damn hard to sweep a girl off her feet? for christ sake man, Get it together already. fuck man! it doesnt even have to cost money! how about writting a letter by hand? or idk draw me something! GUYS: ITS NOT HARD TO BE SWEET and it certainly doesnt have to be expensive. i want to cry. this clearly isnt working. you feel i don't respect you. i feel you dont value me. you and i both know we are both to stubburn to change. should we cut our losses now? what do we do? i want to cry...