Best Friends Forever?: Chapter 1
So this was supposed to be a dabble about Reed being a chaotic bisexual with some minor redemption parts but I got carried away. A little heavier than intended but I hope you like it.
Reed would walk the hallways of Grant like he owned the place. And he kind of did. Despite only being a sophomore, almost everyone knew who he was. He had hooked up with at least half his class and quite a few students from other classes. He loved to flirt and if he saw someone he wanted, he went for it. He had learned a few years back that if you wait too long to make your move, someone was bound to swoop in and steal them away.
As the last bell rang, he made his way down the hallway. When he nears locker 109, he hesitates like he does everyday. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his former best friend leaning against that locker, with his arms wrapped around the brunette who changed everything. Just like the day prior and all the days since the beginning of freshman year, he momentarily considers walking up to him and maybe saying hi.
He turns his head slightly to look over and sees TJ wave in his direction. A smile instantly hits his face. Maybe TJ also wants to be friends again? As he goes to wave back though, he stops. He sees the real reason TJ was waving. Marty and Buffy were behind him and TJ was waving at them. They walk past him like he doesn't exist and make their way to join their friends. TJ greets them like he didn't notice Reed at all. His heart drops. Instead of letting it overwhelm him with sadness, he let's anger and spite take over
He forces himself to move forward through the hallways. Thinking about TJ always brought up bad feelings for him. TJ really hurt him. No, he wasn't mad that TJ turned him in for the gun. It was a dumb idea to play around with the gun. He accepted that. He was mad that TJ completely cut him out of his life after that. He threw Reed away like some bad reminder of his old life. Like he was just one more hurdle on TJ's journey to be a better person. But Reed had known since they were kids that TJ was a good person who just had put up a defensive wall of anger to protect himself. Reed had never doubted that his friend was good. So it made Reed feel worthless, that his best friend since kindergarten would treat him like that, especially because Reed has always been there for TJ.
They were 6 years old and starting their first day of first grade. TJ stood nervously at in the hall with his new, much shorter hair cut. He was wearing "boys" clothes and looked much different than last year when his long blonde hair would flow mid way down his back. Over the summer TJ had told his mom that he was a boy so she let him dress to feel more at home in his body. He had been so excited to show his class but now that it was finally time, he was nervous.
Reed walks out of the classroom when he sees his best friend nervously waiting outside. He smiles at his buddy showing off his missing baby tooth in the front of his mouth, before saying. "You look so cool! I'm glad your mommy stopped dressing you up like a girl! It was weird." Reed knew TJ was a boy before anyone else. TJ told him on their first day of kindergarten and even though he was forced to present a s a girl that year, Reed never treated him like less than any other boy.
A smile crosses young TJ's face. "Really? I look cool? Do you think the other kids will laugh?"
"Are you kidding me?! Do you see the shark on your shirt, who would ever laugh at a shark?!"
"I'm scared that they will call me a girl." TJ looks down.
"Well I'll yell at them if they do." Reed gives another toothy smile before reaching out his hand and taking TJ's.
TJ smiles back before letting himself be pulled into the classroom. And Reed kept his word. Anyone who was mean to his friend, he stood up against. He was TJ's biggest supporter.
But now, TJ couldn't give a damn about him. He felt like less than trash. Well...TJ may not want him but someone will. For a few minutes he could pretend that someone actually cared about him. And then he could end it on his terms. He can be the one to hurt somebody before they hurt him.
He pushes his way down the corridor, working out his plan. He passes through the school door to the outside and heads to the football field where the varsity team was practicing. He sits in the bleachers, looking for his target. Then he spots him, the quarterback, Tyler.
Tyler was tall with shaggy brown hair and pretty brown eyes. Officially he's straight with a beautiful girlfriend to prove it. (That girlfriend by the way had been making out with Reed in the janitor's closet a few days ago.) Reed had seen the jock though stealing glances at him when he would pass by in the hallway. So he waits.
When practice is over, he makes his way down to the edge of the field. He waits as the other guys leave to go back to the locker room and then focuses all his attention on Tyler, who happens to be the last guy to walk by him.
He puts on a flirty, confident smile as he walks into the brunette's field of vision. "Hey, you looked really good out there. You really know what you're doing, don't you?" He steps closer.
"I...um guess. Thanks. Do I know you?" He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion.
"Not officially, no. But I've seen you in the halls." Reed closes the distance between them as he talks, now putting the boys a few feet apart. He flashes another smile before strategically pointing his head down slightly so he can look up through his eyelashes. He whispers. "I think you are really cute…"
At that Tyler blushes and he can barely form a coherent sentence. "I'm not gay, man."
"Neither am I." Reed smirks before ghosting his fingers against Tyler's hand.
"It's just that kissing dudes...isn't my thing." The football player says, obviously lying. He doesn't try to step out of Reed's touch.
So Reed pulls his hand away and from the look on Tyler's face, he regrets that. Reed answers. "Well okay…." Then he gets a curious look on his face and tilts his head. "But it could be your thing...you don't know unless you try."
The other boy swallows hard, glancing down at Reed's lips. Reed knows he's got him because before he can process what is happening, Tyler has his hand in his, pulling him under the bleachers.
Then they are kissing, Reed running his fingers through the taller boy's hair. For a few minutes, he feels great. Someone really wants him. But then...it comes crashing down. The euphoric feeling in him fades away like always, to be replaced by sadness. This is temporary. This person doesn't really want him. He is just another warm body. So as quickly as it started, he ends it. He abruptly pulls away. Tyler looks confused again.
"Well that was nice." The blond says coldly.
"That's it? You're done?"
"Yea, so uh...bye." Reed turns to walk away.
"What?" Reed rolls his eyes appearing physically annoyed as he turns to face the boy again.
"What am I supposed to do?" Then a look of guilt crosses his face. "Oh god...I just cheated on my girlfriend. What am I going to do?"
Reed gives him an empty smile. "I don't know, man. How about you ask your girlfriend about how she deals with the guilt."
"I guess you really are as dumb as people say you are. I'm telling you that now you and your girlfriend are even."
"She made out with you too?" He asks, desperately.
Reed simply shrugs his shoulders and walks away, ignoring anything else that is leaving the other boy's mouth.
He kept walking until he reached his house. As soon as he stepped in his bedroom, his icy disguise melted away. He drops on his bed, and he soon lets all the guilt, and overwhelming sadness take over. He allows his mind to wander to the memories he often tries to surpress.
It was halfway through their first grade year. They were at recess. TJ and Reed were playing on the jungle gym, minding their own business, when these third graders came up to them and started laughing.
"What are you laughing at?!" Reed demanded behind a lisp caused by missing his front tooth.
"That girl!" One of them pointed at TJ. "Why does she look like a boy?!
Reed looks back at TJ, who is now staring at the ground. He turns his head back to the bullies. He spit "Because he is a boy!"
"Na-ah! We know she's a girl!" They start laughing when they see TJ crying. "Look, see! They're crying like a girl!"
Reed looks back again at his best friend before stepping closer to the bullies. As they keep laughing, Reed swings his leg, kicking the leader in the worst possible place. He yelps in pain and everyone stops laughing. He starts to cry. Reed smirks, "Now, you're the one crying."
He turns away and walks towards TJ. He takes his friend's hand and says "Come on." He smiles at TJ and pulls him away from the older kids. (Who don't tell the teacher because they know they will get in trouble too.)
Reed leads him behind the tree at the edge of the playground.
"Are you okay, Teej?" He asks his still sniffling friend.
"Yea...thank you Reed. Hey?"
"Do you promise to always be my best friend?" TJ hold his breath waiting for a response.
"Duh! I love you and your my best buddy in the whole entire world!' Reed beams.
TJ nods and says, " Thank you...and you too! Best friends forever." Then he leans over and kisses Reed's cheek without warning. Reed remembers blushing like crazy but TJ doesn't say anything about it again. But Reed will always remember that day as his first kiss.
But that day was also the day, TJ started becoming meaner. He started putting up a tougher exterior. He didn't want anyone to pick on him anymore. But Reed never stopped being TJ's friend, even when he was being a jerk. He kept his promise.. best friends forever. At the end of the day, he knew TJ was a good person. He never gave up on TJ....so why did TJ give up on him?
Reed doesn't even think TJ remembers that day. Why should he? That day is part of his old life, just like Reed. He buries his face into his pillow when he feels a tear collecting at his eye. It’s been two years and he still miss his best friend like an idiot. Soon he falls asleep crying and sleeps until the next morning.
When he gets to school, he hears little whispers as he walks by. He is used to it by now. You don't just get to go around using people without at least a little gossip being spread. He liked it that way...at least he was the one in control. At least he got to be the one pushing others away first instead of them pushing him away.
"Did you hear Tyler and Kim broke up?" He hears one girl say to her friend in the hallway.
"Yea...apparently they both cheated...with the same person." Her friend replies.
"Some sophomore, Reed, I think his name is. Kim posted about it on her finsta."
Reed frowns to himself as he walks by. He doesn't know why he is upset by this. What did he expect would happen? Still, he doesn't feel great. Maybe because this isn't the first time he broke up a couple? Or maybe it’s because in this narrative, he again is just the fuck up again? Maybe he is just feeling guilty for hurting them? Probably all of the above, he thinks to himself. Having a conscience can be such a pain in the ass.
The day dragged by slowly. Reed wanted the school day to end faster than usual. But of course, it felt like each minute was an eternity. When the bell finally rings, he couldn't be in a bigger hurry to get out of that building. But when he rounds the corner, he hears a familiar voices talking about him. Its Cyrus and TJ. They don't notice he is there so he take the opportunity to slide back around the corner so he can hide behind some lockers and eavesdrop.
"Can you believe Reed did that? With both of them?!" Cyrus asks as he looks up at his beautiful, green eyed boyfriend.
"I mean...are you surprised?" TJ retorts. "He's Reed, he has been doing this since freshman year, Kim and Tyler are just the most popular of his conquests. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, Cy."
Hearing TJ talk about him like he is just some heartless asshole hurts him more than anyone else gossiping could ever. He knows he should walk away so he doesn't get more hurt but he can't seem to get his feet to move. He stays frozen and keeps listening.
"Teej? Wasn't he your best friend at some point? Was he always like this?" Cyrus asks. His voice sounds genuinely concerned. "I mean other than the gun thing, before that, he seemed so nice to me."
"What can I say? I guess some people are good at faking it." TJ replies coldly. Hard feelings still obviously there in his voice. The negative way their friendship ended, was casting a dark cloud in TJ's mind of their entire friendship. "Reeds just not a good person."
The words cut through Reed like a blade. He always knew in the back of his head that TJ hated him but it was so different actually say these things out loud. He can't control what he does next. He slams his fist into the locker next to him out of anger...and so much hurt.
TJ and Cyrus look shocked at the sudden interruption and zero in at where the sound came from. But he does not give them a chance to investigate. He runs the other direction. He keeps running until he finds an empty hallway that has already cleared out of students for the day. He was so busy running that he didn't hear the footsteps following.
"Reed, wait up, please?" Its TJ's voice. From the slight shortness of breath, he can tell he was running too.
Reed reels around, doing his best to keep his face emotionless and cold. This was the first time TJ has talked to him since the incident. Cyrus must have hung back because the basketball player was alone. When his eyes meet TJ's his breath hitches in his throat but he forces himself to speak. He crosses his arms against his chest, like a shield."What do you want?" His words come out like ice.
TJ takes a deep breath. "Um how are you doing?"
"Save the small talk. I know you just feel bad because you know I heard what you said."
"Just don't, TJ. You're right. I'm not a good person. I know what I did was messed up. I know what I do is messed up. I'm just a messed up person."Against his wishes, his voice betrayed him and became more strained as he continued to speak. "So you can go tell your boyfriend that you fulfilled your obligation to check up on me, to see if I'm alright and we can go back to never talking again." He breaks eye contact to stare angerly at the wall to the side of him. "TJ Kippen will once again be the good guy while I'm the moody, toxic, villain who lost his temper.:
TJ stares helplessly at his old best friend. The only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Why?"
"Why, what?" Reed spits back. He finds it easier to be mad if he isn't staring at TJ.
"Why did you hook up with either of them if you knew they were dating?" He seems to have ignored the other things that had left Reed's mouth.
"I do that all the time."
"But what makes you do it?"
"What makes them do it? They are the ones who made a commitment to another person. They are the ones who chose to break it. Honestly, if all it takes to end their relationship is some cute blonde flirting with them, isn't it better they know now and not 6 months from now?"
TJ gives him a look of disbelief. "So you're saying that you just do this to help people know their relationship is doomed? Come on, man. I'm not stupid. What else is going on?"
"What do you care?" Reed says, dropping his arms to his sides, his voice getting more broken. "You wouldn't understand."
"Because...because...you're TJ Kippen." His voice sounds defeated as he slumps against a row of lockers, taking a seat on the ground. "You're the golden boy, with a real growth story. You ditched your toxic life with your toxic, shitty friends. You have everything. A wonderful boyfriend, the perfect friends, you're the only sophomore on the varsity basketball team. I'm just part of the wreckage from your past, man." He feels a tear form in his eye. "Fuck. I just didn't want to be alone anymore. You stopped speaking to me the day of that stupid gun thing. That killed me, Teej. Do you have any idea how hard I worked after I got in trouble. I took gun safety courses and haven't been stupid enough to play with a gun since. I had made a mistake but it really felt like you cut me out completely to impress Cyrus. You never gave me a chance to fix it. But everyone gave you a chance to be a better person. Then to make matters worse, Lester moved at the end of the eighth grade."
TJ takes a seat next to Reed. He tries to speak. "Reed, I…"
Reed interrupts him. "Please let me finish because I don't know if I will be brave enough to do this again. Anyways. I had no one at the beginning of high school. Then this guy asked me out, Kellie Conway. And I was so excited. We had a few dates but apparently I was mopey or something, because he told me <It's a good thing you're cute because that's the only reason anyone would want to hang out with you.> So I ran with that. I flirt with whoever because it's the only thing I got going. And sometimes I hook up with people in relationships because it feels good to have someone chose me above someone else if only for a few minutes." A few rebel tears make their way down his cheek.
"Reed... I'm sorry..." TJ says guiltily staring at the floor. His voice cracks.
The sound of his ex-friend holding back tears of his own, sets Reed over the edge. Tears are now flowing freely. "Why'd you just cut me out of your life? Didn't...didn't I deserve the chance to grow and learn from my mistake?" He takes a shaky breath trying to calm himself down. "We were supposed to always be best friends forever, we promised. Remember? In the first grade?"
"You're...right." TJ admits. "You did deserve a chance to make things right but...but I thought it would be less messy for me if I just cut you off completely. It was selfish and stupid." TJ turns his head slightly so he can face Reed. "I tried to convince myself that I hated you, which I know is unfair to you. But the truth is, I could never hate you. You were my first friend and...always had my back. I'm sorry...for not trying harder to fix our friendship. And...I do remember that day in the first grade."
Reed is speechless. He didn't think the conversation would go like this. "Teej?" He chokes out.
"I'm sorry, too...I'm sorry for putting everyone in danger that day. I honestly wanted to impress Cyrus for you, like be a good wingman. Even though you hadn't come out to me yet, I could tell you liked him a lot. It was stupid and Cyrus was right to leave. But I meant well. And...I'm sorry for not being brave enough to talk to you sooner."
TJ gives him a soft smile for the first time in years. "I'm … glad we talked now. I know it's going to take work, but if you want to, I would like to rebuild our friendship."
Reed gives him a toothy smile like they were in first grade again. "I would love that."
The two boys sit in a comfortable silence in the empty hallways for a while. Both were thankful for this first step into becoming friends again.
