#trans guy anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - August 5

stomach problems anon, not satisfied anon, trans guy anon, (help) anon (new), important decision anon

stomach problems anon

heyy it's stomach problems anon here. so, unfortunately, I'm in Italy and our schools do not provide anything about health, either mental (lol) or physical. we're also on school break but it just came to my mind that some people have school nurses or things like that. anyways I talked about this problem to my aunt (she's a psychologist) and she spoke to my parents and we're gonna try to figure out something because I sure am not letting myself have a problem with food. just wanted to tell you cause I need to vent sometimes, but I think I speak for everyone when I say Thank you for listening anyways

Hi!

I'm so glad you spoke to your aunt! I hope your parents listen to her when she talks to them. Please keep me updated if you think of it!

Sending love!

___

Not satisfied anon

Hi!

Like I said before hon, those numbers don't mean anything. People who weigh less than a hundred pounds can have severe health issues and people who weigh over 300 pounds can be perfectly healthy. It has to do with thinks like your blood sugar, your heart, your cholesterol, all of that. I KNOW at your age, the size of your jeans feels so important. I know you're being told by ads on tv and friends and people you have crushes on that you have to look a certain way. but I promise you, that is not what makes your body healthy. Your body is healthy if it is functioning properly, and I'm gonna guess that it is <3

Please, please know that you are doing so well and you are beautiful just as you are.

___

trans guy anon

congrats on the boyfriend! he sounds so supportive, I'm very excited for you!

As far as the camp, that sounds absolutely awful. I'm so sorry you were treated that way and PLEASE know that you didn't deserve any of that. Are you able to report the camp for not looking into all the people who hurt you? If you're able to and mentally up to doing it, you absolutely should. They have an obligation to keep you safe, so they'd definitely get in trouble...

sending you so much love <3

___

(help) anon

Does it make sense that I want to be a boy but definitely not a man?

I know it’s the same the category technically but…

(Help)

I feel this SO MUCH. Like...it makes so sense when you say it, but in my SOUL, it makes so much sense. I feel like it has to do with the fact that 'man' feels more masculine than 'boy'? At least to me...

If you ever want to talk/vent, I'm here!

___

important decision anon

Hi cas, important decision anon here! First of all, thank you so much for replying and for your advice<3 secondly, high school won't really impact university, here we can go to whatever university we like regardless of which high school we went to. I'd have to look into universities abroad tho and see if i want to go there if they have specific requirements, but overall the future isn't a problem, plus my dream job would be in fashion so the art school (which has a fashion course) would be a nice choice should i actually choose that for university. My main problem is: what if people around me spend the next three years telling me that I'm wasted there? I have a bit of an issue with academic validation and the need to prove my intelligence and i feel like that would send me into a spiral. However i don't think i can go into classic with this little time to prepare, and i definitely don't want to stay into scientific. I think art school would make me really happy, i just really dread feeling wasted, but i genuinely think that I'm on the merry way to burn out as of now and what if actually picking an easier school now will lead to me being able to do my absolute best in uni? I'm so sorry for the rambling but my head is a real mess rn. Thank you again for the advice :)

Hi!

Yeah you should definitely do the art school then! it sounds perfect!

As far as academic validation...I think that's so difficult because I can say like "well just tell those people to go fuck themselves" but it's not that easy, is it? It's hard to decide that other people's opinions don't matter.

But the reality is, as you get older and you have to make these big decisions, there comes a time where you have to start relying on your OWN opinion and validation, at least as much as everyone else's. Because only YOU have to go through your life, not the people who give you their opinion. Sure, your parents or family or teachers can tell you their thoughts, and if you respect them, you can value those thoughts, but those people don't walk in your shoes. They don't deal with what you deal with. So you can kindly say, "I respect your opinion, but I've thought this through a lot, and I'm doing what's right for me," and that's OKAY. it doesn't make you a disappointment or 'wasted' no matter what they say. Part of being an adult is becoming secure in those decisions.

It's okay to worry about other people's opinions. It's okay to let other people's opinions factor into your decision-making. But it's NOT okay to let other people make decisions for you. You have to do what feels right for you, no matter what school that ends up being!

Keep me updated, I'm cheering you on!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 30th

mirrorball anon, trans guy anon, social anxiety anon (new), first job anon, adhd anon (new)

mirrorball anon

Hi

Um so

One of the people I used to call my friend just

left tumblr

blocked everyone on everything despite saying the people who had other ways to reach out could

and they just

disappeared

and it just feels like this is going to be a cycle in my life forever that I won’t escape

Everyone always leaves

Always.

-🪩

Hi <3

I'm so sorry. This absolutely sucks and it's so hard not to take personally. I'm not sure how much I can say to make you feel better because the truth is, you absolutely are right to be upset. But I do know that there are people who care <3 And I'm here to vent to <3

__

trans guy anon

It's Trans Guy anon (sorry if you don't remember)

I thought about your advice a whole lot and I tried coming out to her again, she did not take it well at all. I told her, and she said "Well, you know how it is now a days, you could be anything, like a they or something. But you are you, and it's your body and your choice," which I thought, hey, not bad, right?

WRONG

I went onto Libby to read (we share an account) and saw a book that was basically about "how to convince my daughter she's not a boy" so that sucked. Then I go to sleep, and at 2 AM she came into my room and woke me up, just to tell me "I don't believe you, that's not a real thing," ( summarised). She also searched all of my devices, read all my texts, searched my search history, deleted all my apps, and blocked anyone who has been respecting my pronouns/sexuality at all. No idea why haha.

I haven't been at home lately sincr I had a friends sleepover birthday party, a band trip (3 days), then a dance trip (2 nights), then another sleepover, but when I went on her computer she had 'conversion therapy/counselling' in a search tab so I might be a little screwed?

I don't know. But in good news, I did my band test, I play tenor saxophone, which I got 27/28 on, teacher said I needed to play louder though, and I finished a whole painting 4 weeks early.

Sorry to be a bother, I just needed to vent, and I'm feeling kind of guilty because when I found out she searched my contacts and read my texts, I just felt oddly violated.

Hope you're doing well though!!

Hi <3

Wow, that's awful and you definitely have a right to feel violated. I think right now you need to focus on your safety, especially with what your mom has been searching. Do you have safe adults you can talk to about this and share this info with? Conversion therapy can be dangerous, so it's important to put your safety first by finding supportive people to protect you <3

Sending you so much luck and love!

___

social anxiety anon

I'm 20 years old and social anxiety has taken over 90% of my life. Does it ever go away? I'm so tired of not living because of it. I want to do so many things in life and this is always stopping me from doing so. I'm such a dreamer and all I want to do it at least try you know? Or believe that I can do it, but this thing is like the monsters under my pillow murmuring every night that I can't, that I will always be it's prisoner.

Hi!

It CAN go away, or at least be coped with, and I definitely believe in you and know that you can do it! But I think the thing is, anxiety is something that needs treatment, and a lot of times, you need help to get that treatment! Do you have the ability to go to therapy or talk to a doctor about this? There's no shame in asking for help, and treatment can make SUCH a huge difference (I know from firsthand experience <3)

____

first job anon

Hi Cas! First job anon again.

I just wanted to tell you I almost cried reading your response to my first ask. You're genuinely an amazing person, and what you said made me feel so good. Thank you so much for your words.

In other news, today I was supposed to go to an induction course, but I forgot my identification. Can you believe it? Now I have to wait until next Tuesday to take it online, and then my first day will be Wednesday. Not even my first day and I already fucked up lmao. But it made me feel better remembering what you said. Was it absolutely stupid that I forgot my freaking identification, for god's sake? Yes, absolutely. But there is a solution. Do I have to wait two more days than expected to start the job? Also yes, but there's nothing else I can do.

And honestly, I'm happy that I'm at a point in life where I'm working because I want to gain experience, for my career and for life, not because I have to. I feel more at peace knowing I’m doing this because I want to, and I'm extremely lucky to be in that position.

Hope you have an amazing day or night, and thank you again for being so wonderful♡ I hope you know you genuinely help so many people. It means the world.

Hi!

This is such a great way to look at it! Mistakes happen, and there's a solution, so no reason to beat yourself up too much. I'm so glad you're being kind to yourself and staying positive and excited about getting experience. How did your first day go???

___

adhd anon

hii can i vent? so i think i have adhd, even my therapist thinks that but my parents doesn’t believe in those stuff and mocked me when i asked them to get it checked. im so tired of feeling like a disappointment because i cant remember to do stuff, my grandparents joke about me being an idiot for it but im really trying! its so devastating not being able to tell anyone what is the reason behind it because im not diagnosed so im probably stupid and just making excuses and no adults believes me because i used to be a gifted kid so they think im smart and just being lazy and mean. like im incapable of forgetting and doing it on purpose! they laugh in my face too. im so tired of this i genuinely dont know what to do and how to deal with it, im trying my best but its never enough for anyone

thank you for listening, sorry to bother you

hope you’re having a great week<3

Hi!

I'm so sorry your parents aren't being supportive. Remember, though, you ARENT stupid or lazy or making excuses. Just because your brain works differently doesn't mean you're less than. You ARE trying your best, and I am so proud of you for getting this far. As someone who didn't get a diagnosis until an adult, I know it's NOT easy.

Have you tried looking up ways to help with ADHD? You shouldn't have to do the work by yourself, but maybe it'll help a bit. Try working WITH your brain instead of against it, you know?

Sending love <3

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 15

trans guy anon, usaid anon, @0bsessedwithdeadgayswizards, teen angst anon, sentiment anon

trans guy anon

Hi. This is my first time asking anything on here but I kind of need some advice. So I'm a trans guy and I came out to my mom as trans. She didn't react well, basically screaming that I'm not, then pretended it never happened? Like she's being all "my sweet girl" two weeks after I came out. Anyway I really don't know what to do, like do I make a power point or just give up? Any advice at all would be really great.

Hi <3

That's awful, I'm so sorry </3

Honestly, I think it depends on how your mom usually acts. Is she usually supportive of the lgbtqia+ community? is she usually supportive of you? Her response wasn't okay regardless, PLEASE know, but maybe she's ignorant or needed time to process? Like...what vibes does she usually give off, you know?

I think you need to decide, based on her past behavior, if she deserves the benefit of the doubt and if she's safe to approach again. Put your safety first, and remember that whether or not she accepts you, your identity is still real and valid, and you don't deserve to be written off.

___

USAID anon

Hey its usaid anon and youve probably heard about the india pakistan conflict getting worse last week? Vance said it was none of his business. Anyway there was a ceasefire! We love some good news.

Yes I heard! I'm so glad there was a ceasefire. Vance is such a dumbass.

___

@0bsessedwithdeadgayswizards

cas guess what!

turns out im a lesbian✌️

how did i find out? well its kind of funny yk i was thinking like yeah i wanna live with a baddie adopt hundreds if cats and travel the world. but then i was thinking what if that prsn was a man😨 and i got scared because wdym living with a man thats disgusting??? and then i began thinking of marriage and all that stuff and realised that i really dont want a man with me in the same room, the same bed like thats a big no and yeah.

like i wanna hold hands and go kiss kiss with a baddie NOT with some dude??

still i was trying to imagine myself with a guy and its not working

so in conclusion im a lesbian so imma go change my pfp🎀

This is SO real. I'm glad you found a label that feels right to you! Love your new PFP!

___

teen angst anon

Hi!

I'm so glad your knee is doing better! And no surgery- yay!

Happy almost birthday, it sounds like you're doing a lot of fun things! <3 I'm sorry about your migraine, that sounds awful. I haven't read those books, but they sound great, and an awesome way to pass the time when you aren't felling well.

I hope your depression gets better as the weather does and you start your new class. I know the warmth always helps my depression. My inbox is open if you need to talk or vent!

___

sentiment anon

Hi hon <3

A lovingly as possible, all of these are excuses for him. He CAN control his words, and it doesn't matter WHAT you do, he should not be acting like this. NO reason is good enough. Nope. None. Not even whatever you're thinking now to argue with me. <3

I think talking to your sister about it is a great place to start. You need to acknowledge that this is super inappropriate and you need someone who supports you in that. You deserve to feel comfortable!

[monstersandmaw]

I have a question about Sarrith if it's ok? (not the same anon as earlier btw) Is he trans? Only in the description when she makes him cum it seems like maybe he is? Either way it's really cool (trans guy anon...)

Hi, thanks for asking about Sarrith! He’s cis male I guess you’d say, but I’ll explain the anatomy under the cut, not because of the nature of your question, but because it contains a couple of sentences about spider mating, which might squick some people out a bit. 

I designed Sarrith to have the reproductive anatomy of a male spider, and according to, like, the one resource that I looked at (I didn’t really spend much time researching spider sex to be honest), “Both the male and female reproductive organs are at the rear of the abdomen, but spiders don’t mate by coupling these organs. Instead, the male deposits some sperm onto a small web and picks it up on the end of his pedipalps. When the female is in position, the maledeposits the sperm in the female’s genital opening”

So that’s why he has the anatomy he does. :)