Brain Curd #116
Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily (haven't missed one yet!) and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please like and reblog if you enjoy - the notes keep me going!
Lily sipped carefully at her mocha cappuccino and recoiled. It was still too hot. She set it down on the cafe table, where she sat opposite Alice.
“I swear my tongue burns easier than it used to.”
Alice nodded, her face buried in a book. “Mmm-hmm.”
“Like, is that a thing? Does HRT make you more sensitive to heat?”
“Sure.”
“I mean, look, I’m not gonna say this is a dealbreaker or whatever. It’s real nice having tits. But I would have appreciated a warning.”
Alice snorted and turned the page.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Alice waved her hand. “I’m sure they’ll take it back if you still have the receipt.”
Lily put her elbow on the table and rested her face on her hand. “Despite everything, I still have no idea how to talk to women.”
Alice laughed so hard, tears began to escape her eyes. She set the book aside and wiped her face with a napkin as she caught her breath. “Were you saying something?”
“Probably not. What are you reading?”
“This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Have you ever heard of James Siegfried?”
“The sitcom guy? Who hasn’t?”
“He just released an autobiography, and it is awful. It’s like he’s never written a word in his life. I’m just getting to the part where they start filming the pilot, and already I’ve found like a dozen typos. Plus, he’s got a real woe-is-me attitude, while also presenting himself as the second coming of Desi Arnaz.”
“I always thought Lucy was the funnier character.”
“Yeah, but Siegfried could never compare himself to a woman.”
“How does such a deeply untalented man make such a classic show?”
“He downplays it in the book, but his co-writers did practically everything.”
“Huh.” Lily blew on her coffee and took a small sip. “I guess it must be hard to write a sitcom all by yourself.”
Passable. Episode One: The Virgin is coming soon to NotSoCheezy.com as the first Writer's Block - a collection of Brain Curds with the whey squeezed out. Stay tuned!
