♡I so desperately want to find myself to be beautiful. It is something I have wanted for so long, and it is an obsession for me. I want my identity to align with my ideology of who I want to be, and my appearance is a big part of that.
I can feel in my blood that this is the year for me though. I am maintaining a weight lower than my average weight, I just went to Japan for a month which was so good for my soul and motivation. I have a rhinoplasty appointment booked for June 27th (33 days!!). For the first time in many years I am not tainted with terrible anxiety and depression either. Everything for me is going so well.
I still feel very uncomfortable with the way I look though. I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who is by my side regardless of anything, and loves me and finds me attractive, deeply. But for myself, here are the things I need to work on:
✿ Rhinoplasty- in the works!! Motivated to up my greens intake and take supplements to prevent too much bruising and promote quick healing!
✿ Clear up skin! Need to drink more water, continue healthy eating and find products that work best for me. My skin isn’t awful but it never seems to get really good either :/
✿ Get a bit of a tan ♡ I need some healthy glow to hide my bruising this summer!
✿ Keep growing out hair and deep conditioning! It is getting close to being ‘mid back’ length, but because it is curly it never looks long until it is LONG :/ Trying to grow out my roots though and work with my natural colour(light brown) but I might end up doing a semi dye because I just really like having darker hair, but hate the roots after...
✿ Get my body looking good! Luckily I am no longer obsessed with ‘pro-ana’ and ‘thinspo’ like I was even 2 years ago, but I do want to lose some weight and TONE UP! Right now I am between 113lbs-116lbs, and I am just over 5″3. I would really like to be more like 105lbs-108lbs and much more toned (I have close to no muscle rn)
☆ The goal is to be effortless, but on point! I want to be able to get up in the morning and look in the mirror with no makeup, no clothes, nothing to hide under and be confident in myself.
