#transunity

[crimsonender]

I love you gender nonconforming trans people on my phone

[sodomit]

Been thinking about making this post for a while, so here it goes.

The trans community has a specific type of transphobia towards nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth, and that is forcing womanhood onto them posed as purification or salvation.

The reverse, forcing nonbinary people assigned female into the man role, also exists, but it's frequently done with open hatred (e.g. "those they/thems are actually men trying to sneak into women's spaces") and therefore it has been called out by several people I interact with.

The former, not so much.

Many tend to see misgendering of someone amab towards womanhood as fundamentally benevolent or unserious. Real people develop new kinds of dysphoria and quit trans spaces because of that, including some of my acquaintances, but it's all seen as accidental collateral damage for the noble goal of making more women discover themselves.

"But what if you're denying a closeted self hating trans woman a chance to be called a woman" is seen as a more valid argument than the distress being actively done to people of other genders, and it's fucking bonkers.

I refuse to keep centering non-abinary* perspectives in this conversation.

* abinary spectrum includes agender, xenogender, and other things adjacent.

[transandrosis]

I went from presenting as fairly androgynous to presenting as a femme girl, and this experience taught me so much about who is targeted by misogyny.

Now that people see me as a feminine girl, I face a lot of misogyny that's new to me. There are absolutely people who see femininity as a negative trait and who see feminine girls as ditzy and vapid.

This makes me understand where trans radfems are coming from. When you transition from being masculine or androgynous to being feminine, you face a specific kind of misogyny that's very real.

But that doesn't discount the misogyny faced by trans men, butch women, and many non-binary people. When I was seen as a masculine woman, I faced a completely different kind of misogyny. Just because many people see feminine people afab as being inferior doesn't mean they see masculine people afab in a more positive light (and I'd argue that these people face even worse misogyny, based on my lived experience).

Every trans person faces their own specific struggle. The fact that transmisogyny exists doesn't mean that transandrophobia and exorsexism don't exist too.

[genderkoolaid]

btw i have seen some people using ''birthday girl'' to refer to transphobic trans women and i Do Not Like That. don't do that shit.

primarily because i think its fucking weird to have catty little insults for trans people we disagree with, even and perhaps especially when we disagree with them over actually harmful things they've done or rhetoric they contribute to. its unhelpful and adds fuel to the fire of emotion-first "my pain justifies being an asshole, if you want me to be kinder you just don't get my suffering" trans infighting, and no matter how good it feels i do not think it is right! it hurts all of us whether directly or indirectly because it contributes to a toxic culture, and it is genuinely poison to organizing socially and politically against patriarchy.

but also, on a practical level (which as a pragmatist i do not think is actually separate from the ethical level), its a bad fucking look! it is weird and shitty that people are so invested in coming up with catty little insults, or just adopting pre-existing slurs, to describe trans people they think are being transmisogynistic instead of just saying they are being transmisogynistic, and i think it is illustrative of the trends prevalent in the "transandrophobia isn't real" sphere that this is a thing people engage in and defend so much. if you agree with that point, you should understand that turning around and calling trans women "birthday girls" weakens that criticism! it makes it look hypocritical and easily written off!

when done right, taking the moral high ground should strengthen your arguments by making it so that people cannot argue you are being cruel or vindictive or bigoted when you make your point. it may be less satisfying but it is all around better for all of us. if you genuinely want there to be less cruelty from trans people towards trans people, you have to take some responsibility for the role you play in that. we all do! if The Discourse is really pissing you off, find ways to process that anger and frustration and pain that don't contribute to the very thing causing them in the first place.

[womanman]

“We need more weird queer people” Y’all can’t handle 90% of the ways multigenders label their sexualities

[transunity]

One thing I hear a lot about is that trans women and transfems who support the ideas of transunity do not have a space to discuss transmisogyny, since the main transmisogyny tag is overtaken by users who engage in lateral transphobia and are often hostile to these trans women and transfems.

Does anyone have any ideas what to do about that? Perhaps a more specialized tag? I would like to hear suggestions, primarily from those who feel personally affected.

- mod Sun

[fishtank-thinktank]

Important notice: the tools people used to affirm their gender, does not tell you anything about that person‘s gender identity!

There are transfemmes who chest bind, there are transmascs who get laser hair removal, there are plenty of intersex folks who take E or T, there genderqueers and transneutrals/others who have had a Mastectomy or Vaginoplasty. There are plenty of transgender and intersex people who have some type of combination or none of these things.

Clothing doesn’t have gender, and neither does hormones, procedures, pronouns, or treatments!

[crimsonender]

"Source: I made it the fuck up"