#traumaaa

[only-knives]

oh my god. i can finally see. my dad didn't get "less abusive" because he isn't yelling at me as much. the erosion and violations of my boundaries has been the abuse this entire time.

he isn't terrorizing me anymore because he has less of a reason to. it's not because he's better at controlling his anger. he's just using different methods of manipulation and force.

this feeling of being a daughter-wife that i have. that has been the goal the entire time. it's literally just coercive control and enmeshment.

and i think my apprehension to post this probably speaks for itself (tw for the tags)

[sailforvalinor]

KHUX: *updates*

The girls who live next door to me in my dorm: “...who is screaming ‘STAY AWAY FROM MY SON’???”

[stresskidz]

i wonder if i can manage to watch "doctor on the edge" i avoid medical shows, especially when i was younger and constantly had appointments at the hospital

[why-am-i-always-hungruy]

remembered some more of my 12 year old trauma so a little storytime under the cut :3333 <333

Like I said, this all happened when I was 12.

Just about any 12yo gets into writing and fanfic, and I had just discovered Ao3, and I had ALSO discovered the LGBTQ+ community. I was mostly into fluff and angst, but at some point I wanted to try writing something spicy, to see if I liked it. Now, mind you, I'm a pencil/paper kinda guy. I had collections of notebooks filled with all sorts of fanfics. Full stories, quick little oneshots, the whole shabang.

I wrote a pretty smutty start of a fic, but after maybe 2 pages, I decided I didn't really like writing that kind of stuff, so I stuffed it in my "nope" binder and forgot about it.

One day, I come home from school and the first thing that happens is my mother SLAPS me across the face, screaming nonsense. I'm so shocked, backpack not even off yet, that I have no idea what she's saying. I get my stuff off and walk over to the kitchen counter where EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY NOTEBOOKS is lying open, including the "nope" binder. When I finally understand what's happening, I try to explain myself, and instead get thrown into the fridge. Yeah, my mom literally grabbed me and threw me, which left a bruise for a solid week and a half.

She's upset that I'm not only writing about happy queer couples, but I'm writing about queer SEX, which is not at all what was written. While I didn't say any of this, I find it strange that instead of having a calm conversation with your experimenting pre-teen, you lash out over nothing. I'm simply finding ways to express myself, and I'm trying a different genre of writing. Stop being a homophobic bitch.

[thewobblycaptainchaos]

ARCANE (League of Legends) – Jinx

My latest production ✨✨✨

Am super proud of how it turned out. Especially because it has been a while since I edited a fanvid and, wow, does it feel good to be back.

But also, going through Jinx's tale of woe (again and again and again) tore mein kokoro apart, so…what do you say? Shall we suffer together?

[tomorrowcomest0day]

.

[blupengu]