#trigger warning maybe??

[t1nasn0w]

lowkey crazy how food can trigger traumatic memories 🤪

[jesus-christ-that-a-pretty-face]

I'm incredibly sad right now and something was triggering and I feel super bad and I wish I had someone here with me.

[riptwinktrolls2014]

The difference between my two creepy fantrolls: Ashley and Mennal

But that's just looks.

People seem to really like Mennal cause she's cute. I'm not talking about fantrolls, I'm taking about people I know.

I don't understand this because she's a necrophiliac, but people just brush that off.

If you honestly think about it, Mennal's cute qualities are completely ruined by her creepy ones.

She bakes? She puts organs in the baked goods and sells them, sometimes selling drugged ones so she can take the body home.

She's polite? The only time Mennal has an interest in you is if she wants to fuck you, or eat you. Her politeness is a sham. She'll drug you, torture you till death, and then fuck the body.

Ashley, though. Ashley looks creepy, yeah. He'll kidnap you. He'll kill you. He summons ghosts

But.

He'll kidnap you, and stalk you because he likes you but he doesn't understand how to talk to you. He doesn't want you to know where he lives, so he'll kidnap you, give you food, coffee, whatever you want, and he'll even take his mask and chainsaw off so you're not uncomfortable. He'll drop you right back where you were too.

He'll kill you if you hurt him, or his friends, or his fuckbuddy. 

He summons ghosts cause he's dead, with some psionic powers.

Ashley is polite, and really cuddley and won't cuss around shotaboys and kawaiigirls because of his soft spot for them.

Ashley looks creepy, does some creepy shit, but in the end they're fairly cute.

Mennal is a lovely lady, who does some cute things, but in the end they're fairly fucked up.

Ashley and Mennal are opposites, pretty much.

Ashley has a cute jackrabbit lusus nicknamed ripper (Jack the Ripper)

Mennal has a centipede lusus that she calls darling.

Ashley looks and acts creepy, but is fairly cute.

Mennal looks and acts cute, but is fairly creep- fucking horrifying.

[gayngreen]

[inkydinks]

OH WHAT'S THAT IS IT A BIRD IS IT A PLANE IS IT A BIRDPLANE- NOPE- IT'S A PARTICULARLY VIOLENT PACK OF VENTIES /RUN THEY LIKE THE TASTE OF FRESH MEAT/

OH SNAP CRACKLE POP, BECK

NOT /AGAIN/

YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP LETTING THEM OFF THEIR /LEASH/

These days,

I think there's so much in my mind, so many thoughts and problems and worries and feelings

that I don't even know where to begin.

It's like squinting through fog so dense

you can't even see your feet 

and you take a step forward and

of course, trip the moment you try to move

over GOD KNOWS WHAT

you can't tell what you tripped over- you can't see it- there's a possibility it's not even there at ALL-

but you get up and start blindly moving through the fog again anyway.

Surely to hit something eventually AGAIN that you can't see or identify or make out-

just that it's enough to knock you down and

gosh

there's just so much. 

I feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of myself

and I barely know how to talk about it anymore.

My head is consistently that fog, the weather never changes, the temperature is always suffocating

always steam

always so much hotter than fire and leaving burns 

like I've been trying to shake hands with the sun and he's nicknamed me "Icarus."

It's been like this for a while.

Ever since what happened.

I miss

feeling like myself

being calm

thinking clearly

being certain or sure of those around me

knowing what's upsetting me at the moment

crying.

It's so funny-

to say

I miss crying, of all things.

I really really do.