#trigger warning tw

[ninjamelissajulien]

Zane stood breathless as his eyes scanned the sunset battlefield, adrenaline roaring in his ears with each pump of his artificial heart; the enemy had been defeated once again, Ninjago was once again safe. A single sound shattered the peaceful repose that had fallen over him. Kali’s voice. Breathy, whimpering, trembling. A single word. A name graced her lips as he turned to face her. “Zane…?”

[nastassyafilippovna]

clown tw

meat tw

[youronlyace]

triggering, but I need to share this. Under read more.

 Content includes: a link to a live performance of “From Now On” which was sung by all five boys, that is they left Jjong’s recording in it” and from that leads into a long vent about how after those events people were defaming SHINee, the hate, the trolling and just in general annoyance at antis and people who want to upset and hurt others in the kpop fandom cause clearly that’s a huge thing still. 

Skip if you want, i just needed to get this off my chest. 

The song,  From Now On ...

Let’s talk about how it’s one of the last songs we will get with Jonghyun’s vocals. This was an incredibly hard decision, to continue on their concert without him. The fact that there were some people who said SHINee did it for clout pisses me off. 

Look here you sons of bitches and haters. They did it to honor im. He would have wanted them to continue. They loved him, and still do, and this song...this song was beautiful live. It was everything I never knew I needed. It’s hard for Shawols even now to listen to old shinee songs, even the new stuff, and I fully get that. 

Not for me. I love them, their music heals me in my darkest of days. So to see when browsing twitter or tumblr for some SHINee feels i still come across this shit or people trolling shawols and purposefully triggering them, I get so angry. These boys have gone through so much AND YOU WANNA COME AT US LIKE THIS? 

I thought we were past this. also to that one twitter account who said SHINee should have broken up can go suck  a dick with STDs. To the person who agreed and said that shawols clamoring to comfort monbebes and stays when members left and said we were using this as an excuse to shove it in their face that “at least they aren’t deaD” need to stfu. 

Shawols from what I remember during both were nothing if not respectful and offering comfort. Anyway SHINee are my ult group and it’s time to address that there are still people who try to defame SHINee. When SuperM was announced there was so much hate. and someone i remember quite a few times brought up “shinee must be disappointed that taemin is with another group promoting even if they say he is still part of shinee” 

AND THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF. ANYWAY IM ANGRY, SOFT AND SAD AND I WANT TO PROTECT MY SHINEE BOYS AND I NEED TO JUST STOP BROWSING TWITTER AND TUMBLR WHEN I SEARCH SHINEE CAUSE I ALWAYS FIND THIS SHIT. 

[diatriber-blog]

My story

I am going to launch this out there into the ether because right now I just need some catharsis. What I am about to write....I’ve never shared with anyone.

I was a late bloomer. My parents are religious and my best friend was a minister’s daughter. I belonged to 2 churches as a teenager. I was horribly bullied in school. I was never “jumped” but I was teased and threatened all the time.

When I was 17 I started remembering some....things from when I was really little. I put the nagging thoughts into the back of my mind. They didn’t quite feel like memories, so it was a fantasy, right? I was making up a story in my head, right?

My bestie disclosed something to me that made me reexamine these dark shadows and I still came up empty. Even if it was true, what could be done now? As a college freshman, I had my first boyfriend, and as couples do, we were intimate. My first sexual experience. What I never told him was that I wasn’t sure I was a virgin when we consummated our relationship. I was so scared of whether or not my hymen was intact, I froze up and it hurt way too much to complete the act the first time. Sex was painful the first year we were together. I enjoyed it, I wanted it, but I couldn’t relax.

The dark shadows receded for the most part, because I didn’t have a clue what to do with the information. My life was mostly numb. My marriage was pretty good in some ways, but I was lost in it. I had a career that I thought people expected of me, and I numbed out with television for nigh on 10 years.

Then the economy tanked, we moved cross country and I came face to face with the emotional scars of my parental units. A narcissist for a father and a doormat of a mother. They provided me with everything, didn’t hit me, starve me, heck they didn’t even insult me.....but they put me in the middle, shattered any sense of emotional safety children need. I still can’t put into words the damage they caused. My abandonment issues began when my dad temporarily moved to another country the fall of my senior year, not even returning when my brother was committed for suicidal thoughts. 

Trying to carve a new niche for myself, I went back to school for something I wanted. My self esteem improved, I was able to make friends, Things were looking up. Then my husband attempted suicide, I miscarried, and we lost our home due to a natural disaster.

Another cross continent move. I busted my back (literally...herniated discs) working 10 hour days while he went on mini vacations and would get pissed at me for bothering him for support while he was gone. So I pack my shit and disappear when he is on vacay to no where.

I move for my job, get divorced, start dating. Hypersexual. I meet a nice guy who ended up raping me. And my pandora’s box of crap opens again.

The shadowy memory from when I was really little.... A neighborhood teen gave me skittles from the Mr. Softee truck to bribe me from telling anyone....I still don’t remember the act, but I do know there was someone else there. I remember getting ill after running into him in the neighborhood with my mom. I looked him up on facebook. He has a business, a wife, and 2 little girls around the age I was when this happened. I know if he’s hurting them...its on him....but fuck its hard to think about. What am I supposed to do?

Dear Mrs. Abuser,

I don’t have a clear memory of exactly what happened, but I think your husband molested me when I was your girls’ age. Please be vigilant.

Sincerely,

A fucked up chick across the country.

Other things happened to me as a child that disturb me.

I think I have CPTSD but I can’t talk about this memory. I just literally can’t bring myself to even begin. I have boundary and trust issues. I sometimes don’t know and cannot articulate what I want or need until well after a boundary is crossed then I feel resentful, abused, and blow up the person.

[avaantanarquista]

For every person who hates when people tag triggers

#trigger warning: trigger warning

[samcest]

i just cycled home from a friends house nd i just felt completely detached from everything around me. like i looked down at my hands and they didnt even look/feel like my own and i think i threw up somewhere but i cant remember

[camcamhair]

Today I dropped and cracked my phone screen (again) and now I spilled my container of weed. This is just not my fucking day I guess.