Omg Trout can you tell me more about "I've got to let you know"?
I actually think you were there when I was finding my footing for this one, this is my established relationship Azris CNC fic!
BIGTIME new horizon for me. I very rarely venture into hardcore kink, and I myself am not particularly into reading or writing intense bdsm....in SOME ways. But there are aspects I do quite like. So this would be a way for me to really push into new kinky territory without feeling like I have to bring in elements that I don't really jive with.
This would majorly be an exploration of Eris' relationship with himself and how that may clash with his relationship with Azriel. It would also be tying a lot of like social dynamics regarding a multi-species fantasy world, and how even an Eris who is liberated from his father would not necessarily be fully conscious when it comes to like racial sensitivity and stuff, especially as a High Fae whose lover is "lesser". It would also kinda be an examination of how sex and romance can evolve and shift, sometimes in ways that are uncomfortable at first, but that eventually lead to a more understanding, truthful, and considerate dynamic between the two parties.
Eris, in the heat of the moment, asks something of Azriel that doesn't think is a major deviation from their usual coupling. Azriel, however, does not see it this way at all, and (not to use therapyspeak on main but) gets hugely triggered, like to the point where he is downright dissociating, and leaves. After some time apart, they try to reconcile, and Azriel tries to devise ways to give Eris what he wants without violating his own boundaries, and Eris tries to reframe his way of thinking so that he can better communicate his needs in ways that aren't conscious or considerate of Azriel's life experience. It would sort of be a bunch of sexual vignettes that build up to the actual Moment.
The scene I started writing is actually the one that takes place once Azriel returns to Eris with hopes to reconcile, I can leave a little snippet here!
Azriel couldn't deny that he had done those things. He couldn't deny that the echo of his least proud moment reverberated against his palm every time he took Eris' throat in hand.
But, he also couldn't ignore the other truth.
"I've only ever acted that way because I know you enjoy it," he told the High Lord.
A flash of surprise crossed Eris' face, leaving Azriel blinking, confused. He waited for his male to elaborate, watching as he opened his mouth, closed it with a click, and took a breath through his nose.
The sentence seemed to die in Eris' throat.
Whether as a Prince or as the sovereign of his land, Eris had never been remotely meek or mild. But Azriel suspected that this was the closest he'd ever see the Autumn Lord get. Eris rarely left a sentence unfinished, nevermind with such a wilted end to it, and suddenly, Azriel felt as if he had done something wrong. He had, he knew. He had not handled himself well. But neither had Eris, and the guilt that began to knot within his chest paradoxically felt as unwarranted as it did necessary.
"You don't enjoy it?" Eris eventually asked, clearing his throat and straightening his posture.
"No," Azriel quickly tried to amend. "No, I---of course I do, I wouldn't do anything I didn't enjoy. But I only like it because I know you like it, not because I want you to---or rather, not because I am intentionally trying to get you to submit to me."
Eris' throat bobbed, but beyond that, the High Lord remained well-contained, poised as if he were holding court.
"Then if you were so eager to give me what I enjoyed before," he intoned, his voice dimming to something eerily calm, "you must understand that I wouldn't think this any different. I didn't ask because I thought it was in your nature to desire it, I asked because I thought it was clear that I would like it."
"You did not ask," Azriel pointed out coldly.
Thank you for sending this ask in!! This one is still very green, so it needs a lot of work, but I'm really excited to try out something new!
