#tryna be better

[coffeeandinsanityy]

The days when you feel hopeless and you see the real vulnerable you, what do you do then? 'Cause anybody can act strong, enlighten others and be full of hope during the bright days. But what you do in the face of adversity is what matters. Those are the days that will shape you.

[dushkuhasdibs]

Im not saying I have a type, I'm just saying here it is.

[earths-way-of-laughing]

Teaching myself German and Spanish again

[memoriasconsazon]

'be weary' i tell her. self-hate is contagious. it will have you standing on faulty foundations of make-believe superiority. only finding value in the devaluing of others. how can denigration feel so good when they have the same black skin and brown eyes as you? - 'be careful' i remind my self. we so easily learn to police the love others have for themselves. so deep in fears of scarcity, we cannot imagine there is enough love to pour out of us and into the world and back. - i am trying to teach her that the world is wide enough. and oh, do i hope she's listening.

[memoriasconsazon]

I'm trying be better at how I conceptualize the realities and dynamics of love, especially romantic love. I'm trying to move past just seeing love as this thing that "just happens" & exists because of fate & chemistry. And of course I know relationships require communication & building healthy practices & building trust, but a part of me has always assumed intimacy would come naturally. And I'm understanding now that even that takes honesty, intentionality, and work. It doesn't just happen overnight, and especially with me, im not one to just open my self n soul to folks. It's gonna take work on my side & my Homies n partner's side as well. & im gonna need to be hella patient with everything im dealing with and trying to heal from. So i just wanna be better at believing n practicing love as work (not in the capitalist sense either) but like a process of intentionally learning & growing, ya know... *incomplete thoughts lol*