state of grace ⋆.˚ steven conklin
𖤓 we are alone with our changing minds. we fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds, or fades in time 𖤓
summary: studying in another state had taken you away from your boyfriend, but steven always found a way to visit you, driving an hour to see you. he spent weekends in your room, spoiling you whenever you had exams, knowing how much they stressed you out. one night, you received the most terrifying call of your life: steven had been in a car accident. so you're going to visit him at his house for the first time since he left the hospital.
warnings: steven conklin x f!reader, stable relationship, based on the third episode of the final season, fluff steven (my personal fav), english is not my first language, so please be kind.
When you arrived in Pennsylvania after driving for almost seven hours, the Conklin house was silent. For a moment, you hesitated to knock on the door because it seemed like no one was home, but Laurel was writing in the living room and came out to greet you. When she opened the door and saw you there, she couldn't hide her surprise at your unexpected visit. Your mother-in-law hugs you so tightly that you think she's going to leave you breathless. She takes your face in her hands, noticing the tiredness in your eyes, but she's grateful that you've come so far to see Steven.
"I'm glad to see you, dear." She kisses you on the cheek. "He's upstairs. He didn't tell me you were coming."
"He doesn't know."
Steven was in his room, covered by two comforters and a blanket as if it were snowing outside. His laptop was resting on his stomach, typing numbers, refreshing statistics every two minutes, and making calculations with the data he already had in order to predict the best move, which had him completely focused. His mother tried to take the computer away from him; the doctor recommended limited screen time, but Steven Conklin was unable to stop thinking about work.
He hated this.
Not the rest—he could handle a few days of inactivity and continue working from the comfort of his bed in pyjamas. But he couldn't stand the hourly check-ins. The rule was "no phone, no video games, no work." It was like being eleven again, but without the chickenpox. Belly and his mother hovered over him constantly. He loves them, but those women follow him around all day, every hour.
Then came the knock.
Steven groaned from under his mountain of blankets. “Mom, I’m fine.” He shouts angrily.
There was a pause.
"Calm down, I didn't come to take your temperature." Laurel replied through the door, ever calm, ever composed—but with that edge of insistence he knew too well. “But you have a visitor.”
Steven frowned, not wanting to receive anyone else; he had enough to put up with his own family. He sat up a bit with pain, frowning, adjusting the laptop so it didn’t crash to the floor.
“What? Who—” But before he could finish, the door open. “Mom—don’t—” he started, tugging the blanket up defensively like she’d just walked in on something catastrophic.
Laurel just gave him a knowing look. “Steven, relax.”
Then you stepped aside and there you were.
Standing in the doorway, one hand behind your back, the other holding a small bouquet of grocery-store flowers—slightly squished, a little uneven, but charming in the way only something thoughtful and last-minute can be. Your eyes found his instantly, and softened.
You looked almost unsure of yourself—like maybe you’d interrupted something, like maybe you shouldn’t be there after all. But the moment you saw him—hair a little messy, face pale but alive under all those blankets—your expression melted into something so full of relief, it made his chest tighten.
Steven blinked. “You—what—what are you doing here?” he asked, shocked. “Aren’t you supposed to be drowning in flashcards right now?”
You lifted the flowers slightly, like you’d just remembered they were in your hand. “Yeah, but my boyfriend decided it was a good idea to drive like an imbecile and get into an accident.”
“Maybe you have a point.”
Laurel smiled quietly between you both, then stepped back out into the hallway.
“Okay, guys, I’ll let you two talk,” she said gently, pulling the door mostly shut behind her. “Try not to dislocate anything.”
Steven watched you for a second longer, like he was still processing you being there.
And then—tentatively—he smiled.
“You brought me flowers?”
“They’re technically ‘get well soon,’” you said, stepping closer. “But I’m rebranding them as ‘I missed you.’ Or something like that…”
“You know, those are also what people bring to funerals.”
You lowered the bouquet slowly. “Steven.”
“What?” he shrugged, trying for playful but landing somewhere around morbidly charming. “They are.”
You didn’t laugh, just looked at him, jaw tight, eyes suddenly a little shinier than before.
“Don’t joke about that,” you said quietly, but firmly. “It’s not funny, idiot.”
He hesitated, watching you for a moment, then gestured to the bed with a sheepish grin. “Come here. No more jokes. I promise.”
“Why are you swaddled like a newborn?” You asked, walking to the bed.
He groaned. “My mom thinks the extra layers will ‘speed up circulation.’ I tried to rebel. She added another blanket.” He sat up a bit more, trying to make room as you toed off your shoes. “Wait—really, what are you doing here? I don’t want you falling behind because of me.”
“I already studied for four hours yesterday. I needed a break,” you said, crawling up onto the bed and slipping under the blanket beside him like you’d done it a hundred times. “And you looked like you needed rescuing.”
Steven let himself relax into the warmth of your tired body, your arm gently looping around him.
“…I missed you,” he murmured, pressing his nose into your hair. “Even though it’s only been, like, five days? I’m soft like that now. Congratulations, you broke me.”
You smiled against his collarbone, fingers lightly tracing over the soft fabric of his white T-shirt.
“You were already soft. I just brought it out.”
You shifted closer, slipping under the covers like you belonged there—which, to Steven, absolutely did. Your thigh brushed against his as you settled beside him, moving slowly, carefully, aware of the bruises he wasn’t talking about and the stiffness he was pretending wasn’t there. The mattress dipped with your weight, and the familiar warmth of your presence seemed to soften everything around him.
Steven winced as he tried to adjust, his ribs sending a dull, protesting ache through his side. He bit down a groan but you noticed anyway.
“Hey,” you said gently, hand on his chest. “Don’t move too much.”
“I’m fine,” he muttered, shifting just enough to curve his body toward you. “Just—need to get comfortable.”
You gave him a look, soft but knowing, and then he felt it: your hand sliding across his stomach and resting just above his hip. Your touch was always warm, always steady. He exhaled slowly, as if that alone untied the knot in his chest.
Steven buried his face into the crown of his girlfriend head, his nose brushing her hair, and there it was—caramel and coffe. Soft and familiar, that sweet scent did something to him. Made his shoulders drop, made his heartbeat stop trying so hard to act tough.
“You smell really good,” he mumbled into your hair, voice half-asleep, half-in-love.
“Mm. You smell like soup chicken and hospital.”
He laughed, low and breathy, the sound vibrating against your cheek. “Sexy.”
You tilted your head up slightly, just enough for your forehead to rest beneath his jaw, and he instinctively curled his arm around your back, his fingers splayed across the soft cotton of your shirt. His other hand, still a little clumsy from the soreness, found your face in the quiet. He let his knuckles brush your cheek, then gently tucked a strand of hair behind ear, letting his thumb linger at your temple.
“You good?” he asked quietly, looking at you—really looking. Forgetting that it was he who was hit by a car and was in a coma.
You nodded against his chest, then leaned in to press your lips gently against his jaw.
The warmth between you had settled into a kind of stillness—quiet, safe, but not entirely calm. You hadn’t spoken in a few minutes, not since curling into his side. Steven thought maybe you’d drifted off, lulled by the rhythm of his breathing and the long drive you had to make to get to Pennsylvania.
But then you lifted your head.
Your hand found his chest and stayed there. His eyes follow your fingers brushing faintly over the fabric of his shirt.
“Does it still hurt?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Steven glanced down at you, his arm still around your back. “A little,” he admitted knowing that if it had been his mother who asked him that question, he would most likely have lied. “Mostly when I move.”
Your hand stilled. You was quiet again, but not sleepy. There was something deeper in the silence now—heavier. When looked up at him, your gaze locked with his, and he felt it in the pit of his stomach before you even said a word.
“I should’ve stayed longer at the hospital,” you said quietly, your voice steady but threaded with guilt. “I sat with you for fucking long hours, but you still hadn’t woken up. They told me to go home. I thought I’d come back the next day and see you… sitting up, cracking jokes.”
Steven’s brow softened. He didn’t speak—just looked at his girl, listening.
Your fingers drifted from his chest to his side, tracing patterns absentmindedly over the blanket. “But when I left, I—I couldn’t breathe right. I kept thinking, what if you woke up and I wasn’t there? What if something happened and I wasn’t there to say goodbye?”
Steven’s hand moved to your jaw, tilting your face up toward him gently. Your eyes shimmered—not with tears, you swore wouldn't cry in front of him, but with that depth of feeling he’d only seen a handful of times. The kind that scared him a little because he knew exactly how much space he took up in your crazy world.
“I was so scared,” you whispered. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About you, about us. And I kept trying to imagine my life without you and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”
“Baby, you don't have to do that.”
“I would’ve never forgiven myself if something had happened,” you said. “I mean it, Steven. Never.”
He didn’t know what to say. His throat tightened. So instead, he reached for your hand, slipping his fingers between yours, holding on.
“You’re not allowed to scare me like that again, Steven Conklin” you said, finally looking back up at him. “I’m serious. You’re not allowed.”
“I didn’t exactly plan it,” he said gently, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Funny,” you said, her voice low. “But you’re not getting into a car again.”
Steven tucked his arm tighter around you, despite the twinge of pain in his side. His free hand came up to cradle the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek slowly, trying to smooth out the sadness and scary he saw there.
“I’m here,” he murmured. “I’m okay. And I’m not going anywhere. You need more than a crash to get rid of me, understand?”
You nodded against him with a tired smile, and he kissed your lips because after everything, it was the only thing that felt right. Your head rested against his again, your foreheads touching gently, breaths falling in sync.
Steven tilted his head just slightly, enough to brush the tip of his nose along yours. You lifted your eyes, and he was already looking at you—eyes soft, full of something deeper than usual.
And then he leaned in.
Just a few inches.
But that small movement pulled at his side, and a sharp stab of pain cracked through his ribs.
“Shit—” he hissed through his teeth, pulling back with a wince, his jaw clenched.
You sat up slightly, instantly alert. “Steven—hey—don’t move like that, you idiot.”
He closed his eyes, breathing through the pain. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” you said, checking his expression like he was about to pass out. “You literally made a noise like someone stabbed you.”
“I have been stabbed. Internally. By a seatbelt,” he muttered, eyes fluttering open with a half-smile. “But that’s not the point.”
You gave him a look, the kind that said you’re lucky I love you. “What’s the point, then?”
“That I want to kiss you,” he said simply. “And I don’t care if it hurts a little. It’s worth it.”
You softened. Still worried, but you couldn’t help the way your fingers moved again, sweeping a curl away from his forehead.
“Steven…”
“C’mon, have mercy,” he said, eyes locked on yours, lips tugging into something half-pleading, half-playful. “On a poor, broken boy who almost died and just wants one kiss from his hot girlfriend.”
You laughed under your breath, shaking your head like he was impossible. Which he was. And you loved him for it.
So you leaned in this time—slowly, carefully—and kissed him.
His hand curled gently at the back of your neck, fingertips brushing your skin. He didn’t move too much, didn’t need to. Just let the kiss happen, gently brushing your lips against his, a sigh escaped Steven’s mouth and a shiver ran down your spine.
“There,” you whispered. “Mercy granted.”
Steven grinned.
“Totally worth the whole accident.”
The quiet between you stretched, thick with warmth, breath, skin. Your lips lingered just a little longer than before against his jaw, then trailed up to his cheek, the corner of his mouth. Steven smile, catching your lips with his in a kiss that started slow and careful. But then his hand slid from your arm to your waist, fingers flexing slightly as he pulled your body closer, your muscles tensed when his tongue entered your mouth.
Your body molded easily against his, and for a second, the room, the accident, the ache in his side—all of it disappeared.
His hand dipped lower, tracing the curve of your hip, resting there. The air between you shifted, and his breathing picked up just slightly—not from pain this time, but from want.
And then you pulled back, your hand flat on his chest, steady but not cold.
“Steven,” you said softly. “No.”
He blinked, dazed. “No?”
“You need to rest,” you said, brushing your thumb along his collarbone, your tone firm. “If you keep trying to pull me on top of you, you’re going to pop a rib. And believe me, I am not spending the night in the ER again.”
He pouted—not just with his lips but his whole face. “You say that like it’s not the best possible way to go. Death by girlfriend.”
“Steven.”
“Alright, alright,” he sighed dramatically, flopping his head back on the pillow. “But this is actual cruelty. Do you know how long I’ve been in this bed? And now that I finally have you here, hot as hell and beautiful and literally in my arms, I have to—rest?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”
He groaned like a child being grounded, but tightened his arms around you anyway, hugging close, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
“Unfair,” he mumbled into you skin. “But I still get to hold you, right?” he said, a little muffled. “You’re not actually going to leave?”
“Not going anywhere.”
He sighed, finally settling, his whole body melting into yours with reluctant contentment. “Fine. Just holding you.”
You smiled.
“See? That wasn’t so hard.”
“Speak for yourself,” he muttered, pressing one last kiss to your neck. “I’m a broken man.”
They lay there in a tangle of limbs and blankets, Steven finally resigned to just holding her—though the pout still hadn’t fully left his face. His fingers rested lazily at your waist, thumb moving back and forth in slow, absent circles.
“You okay?” You asked softly, glancing up at him.
He gave your a long, exaggerated sigh. “Define ‘okay.’”
“You’re alive.“
“I’m sexually repressed,” he muttered.
You laughed again, turning in his arms just enough to see his face. “You’re healing, you hormonal disaster.”
“I can do both,” he argued, then added, “Probably.”
“Definitely cannot.”
He groaned again, flopping onto his back, staring at the ceiling like the universe had betrayed him. “This isn’t fair. I nearly died. I should be getting sympathy kisses and post-traumatic sex.”
“You’re getting pajamas, ibuprofen, and shut up.” You sat up slightly, brushing your hair from your face. “But…” your tone softened. “If you behave, I might throw in something better.”
He showed interest in the proposal. “Better?”
A sly smile crept across your lips. “I’ll go out and bring back milkshakes and burgers.”
Steven looked at you like just offered him something really incredible. “From that place with the toasted buns?”
“The very same.”
“And crinkle fries?”
“Obviously.”
Steven narrowed his eyes. “This sounds like a bribe.”
You leaned down, brushing her lips against his in a soft kiss—just enough to make him chase after it when she pulled back.
“It is,” she said sweetly. “To keep your hands where they are and let your ribs knit back together like a responsible patient in recovery.”
Steven let out a low, defeated whimper. “So I get cheeseburgers instead of sex.”
“That’s a pretty good deal for me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Double fries?”
“Only if you stop trying to seduce me with your deathbed charm.”
Steven threw his head back with a dramatic groan. “You’re a cruel woman.”
“And you’ love me,” she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Be good. I’ll be back in twenty.”
“Fine,” he grumbled. “But I want extra pickles. And a chocolate shake with whipped cream.”
“Obviously,” you said, already slipping off the bed. “I’m not a monster.”
𐙚⋆°. MASTERLIST















