"as soon as jeremiah fisher comes around, you lose sight of everything - and everyone - around you."
(jeremiah fisher x reader)
(started on
notes: ( does not follow complete canon timeline / storyline, written for a female reader, no major warnings apply other than swearing, playlist depicted in each chapter title—this is super taylor swift coded, just like the show )
chapter one, “gorgeous”
chapter two, “cruel summer”
chapter three, “lover, you should’ve come over”
chapter four, “out of the woods”
chapter five, “it’s time to go”
chapter six, “this is me trying”
chapter seven, “afterglow”
chapter eight, “all of the girls you loved before” COMING SOON
chapter nine, “soon you’ll get better” COMING SOON
“maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
but tonight, you're on my mind so, you’ll never know”
taglist: @jellybassett @glowingtree
(authors note PLEASE READ: you guys are the SWEETEST ever omg the amount of love i’ve gotten on this so far is insane. i appreciate, and reread over and over again, every single comment or reblog i get, it genuinely keeps me so motivated to write and i appreciate you guys so so much you have no idea. i haven’t written in forever so i excepted no one to like this fic but so far you guys have proven that to be not true and it brings me so much joy. i plan for this to be long!! idek how many parts i’m just gonna keep writing chapters until the story ends!! i cannot guarantee how often updates will be but i’ll write my ass off as much as i can for a while!! all the love in the world to you guys!!! enjoy!!)
you wake up the next morning with no messages from peter. this, usually wouldn’t be strange since he often slept in later than you, but he didn’t even reply to your message from last night at ten thirty. he never went to bed earlier than two in the morning. a gross, nervous feeling creeps up on you. you try to shake it off, thinking that maybe he just fell asleep early when he hadn’t heard from you. that’s what you would keep telling yourself.
downstairs in the kitchen, steven and jeremiah were sitting on stools at the counter, comparing their cereals. belly was at the table, studying the pancakes she was eating. susannah was cooking more pancakes at the stove. “morning (y/n)!” susannah greets you as you enter the room. jeremiah looks up at you and when you make eye contact, he gives you a forced smile and then looks back down at his cereal. he’d been acting weird since last night, when you told him about peter. it actually sort of made you feel bad, that you didn’t tell him sooner. he was clearly bothered by it or offended about you not telling him. the last thing you wanted to do was make things weird between the two of you, and that’s exactly what you did.
“morning susannah,” you smile at her. “can i have some pancakes?”
“absolutely you can!” she exclaims, flipping a pancake over onto a plate. “give me two minutes and they’ll be ready.”
“thanks susannah,” you say then walk over to sit with belly at the table. she smiles at you, her mouth full of pancakes.
“what are you doing today?” she asks you. you shrug.
“dunno. what were you thinking?”
“you should take me driving,” belly smiles cheekily. you laugh. she always asked to go driving ever since you got your license, but you didn’t mind. she had told you before that she trusted you the most to teach her how to drive without being too judgmental.
“sure, bells,” you say. “you can drive me into town to grab some stuff from the store.”
“bonfire tonight, (y/n),” steven turns to face you. “don’t forget.”
you nod. “would never.”
“can i go?” belly asks, looking between the two of you. steven looks at jeremiah then laughs.
“belly, that’s not really your scene,” steven says. “you’ve never gone before.”
“well i wanna go now,” she looks at you. “please?”
you look at steven, who shakes his head. you shrug. “i don’t know, belly. isn’t tonight usually your movie night?”
“it is,” susannah appears with a plate of pancakes for you. you thank her as she sets them down. “but we could always reschedule if belly wanted to go to a party with her siblings.”
“see?” belly says. “even susannah doesn’t think it’s a bad idea.”
“don’t get me too involved, now,” susannah tucks belly’s hair behind her ear. “i have no opinion on the matter except for i want you to do whatever makes you happiest.”
“i think you should come, belly,” jeremiah speaks up for the first time since you’ve gotten downstairs. everyone turns to look at him and he shrugs. he won’t look at you. “it would be fun if you were there.”
“better make sure it’s okay with mom first,” steven tells her, but she waves him off, finishing her pancakes and going to rinse off her plate.
“(y/n), i’ll be in the pool. come get me when you’re ready to go!”
“thirty minutes after eating before you can swim!” susannah calls out to her, but belly was already gone. susannah shakes her head, but there’s a smile on that face. “that girl.”
soon enough, you and belly are in the car, her driving you both into town. the music was blasting and the windows were down, hair whipping everywhere, but neither of you cared.
“what do you have to get from town?” belly asks.
“some hair stuff and i wanna go to that one boutique we found last year and see if they have anything cute,” you reply. she grins.
“i completely forgot about that place!”
“me too until i was packing for this trip and found my skirt i got from there last year,” you and belly had always looked around different shops in town, mainly window-shopping and judging the clothes that were sold in those shops. they were so extremely over priced and half of them looked like something your grandmother would wear. that was, until last summer, when you found the most gorgeous hot pink skirt on a sale rack at a new boutique. you could not stop thinking about it after you left, so the next day you and belly went back so that you could buy it. you wore that skirt constantly. the thing you remembered most about it was the way that jeremiah had looked at you the first time you had worn it. he made you feel so special just from one look, so that skirt became a staple piece in your wardrobe after that. when you started dating peter, you stopped wearing the skirt. it was such a small, meaningless idea that he looked at you special when you wore a random skirt, but it meant a lot to you at the same time. enough that it felt like betrayal to pack the skirt to bring to cousins, so you left it at home.
you and belly spend the afternoon at the shops, picking out outfits for each other to try and laughing at the ridiculousness you put each other through. as you’re getting ready to leave, before she starts the car, belly turns to you. “(y/n).”
“what’s up bells?”
“have you noticed anything…different, about conrad?” she sounds hesitant to ask you, and almost whispers his name. you sigh.
“sorta,” you say. “i was talking to jere last night and he told me that things were weird with him. he doesn’t know why, but it’s been months. he quit the football team.”
“what!?” belly exclaims. “no way. he loves football, i thought he was gonna play in college.”
you shrug. “so did everyone. he just changed things out of nowhere. jere said that he won’t ever say anything and pretends nothing is wrong, but he hasn’t really tried talking to him. you know how guys are with each other. talking about stuff like that does not come easy.”
belly nods, staring down at the steering wheel. you touch her arm gently. “hey, maybe you should talk to him.”
“me?”
“yeah bells. he’s happier around you, even if you don’t see it. maybe he’ll talk to you.”
she sighs. “i don’t know (y/n). he seems mad at me. like, every time we’ve talked, he is so different,” she glances over at you. “you know how i feel about him. i just…i hate the thought of losing him.”
“you won’t. i promise you, you won’t. he’ll open up. you sure as hell did not do anything wrong, it’s probably just something small he needs to work through. everything will work itself out.”
belly smiles at you gratefully. “thank you, (y/n). i think i would go crazy without you.”
“that is exactly what a big sister is for.”
she starts the car and begins to drive away. “so, another thing… do you think i should be a debutant?”
“a debutant?” you ask, shocked. “belly, when i was considering it last summer you seemed disgusted.”
“i know,” she sighs. “but susannah asked me to do it…and i know she was bummed when you didn’t do it last year so i just figured….” she trails off, but she didn’t have to finish. susannah had asked you last year to be a deb and you were going to do it, you really were. you even started looking for dresses and planning everything. that was, until jeremiah announced that he had no intention of ever being an escort to the deb ball. it had felt like such an indirect that it completely killed all of your interest in the ball. he was the only person you had even considered asking to be your escort, and he so openly hated the idea of being one, so you figured that was a sign that it wasn’t right for you. if you were honest, you always regretted it.
“you should do it,” you say after a while. “you’re right, it would make susannah happy. and i’m sure you’ll have no problem finding an escort. it’d be a lot of fun to watch.”
“you think so?”
“definitely.”
belly nods, but doesn’t say anything, focusing on the road. you do the same thing, staring forward. part of you still wondered if jeremiah would have been your escort if you had asked. the other part of you hates yourself for thinking that you would be the exception.
later that night, you’re standing and staring at your closet, trying to figure out what to wear to the bonfire. you brought a few dresses and skirts, but suddenly, you hated everything you owned. this bonfire was super fun every year and the best way to start out the summer, so you felt so much pressure to pick out something cute.
“hey,” jeremiah appears in your doorway, ready to go. “you about ready?”
“yeah,” you sigh. “just gotta figure out what to wear.”
“hm,” he thinks for a second, walking towards your closet. “you still have that pink skirt from last summer? that was good.”
you look down. “uh, left it at home.”
“oh,” he says, a hint of disappointment in his voice. then, he clears his throat and turns his back to you, facing your clothes. he looks for a second before grabbing a blue sundress and handing it to you. “here. this is perfect.”
you look at the dress and smile. it was one of your favorite dresses, simple and comfortable but super cute. of course jeremiah would pick out a sundress for you to wear. he always claimed that girls in sundresses were his weakness.
“okay. get out so i can change,” you push him out the door and he laughs as you do, allowing you to close the door in his face. you change quickly and find a pair of sandals to go with the dress, check your hair and makeup one last time, then you went downstairs to meet everyone else. conrad and belly were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, steven in the middle of them (which looked like it was awkward for all three of them), and jeremiah sat in the chair by the couch, staring at his phone. when steven sees you come down, he shoots up from his seat and claps his hands. “alright! let’s get going! jere’s driving, i call shotgun!”
you make eye contact with jeremiah who smiles at you after looking you up and down. you feel yourself blush at his gaze. he always did this to you. you felt so special just by him looking at you. it was stupid, honestly. that’s just how he was.
the five of you pile out of the house and into jeremiah’s car, you, conrad, and belly squished into the back while steven and jeremiah sat in the front seat of the car, singing their hearts out to taylor swifts ‘cruel summer.’ they were insane when it came to her music, but neither of them would ever admit it.
as soon as you arrive at the beach, steven jumps out of the car. he’s halfway to the fire by the time you even open your car door, and conrad and jeremiah are following close behind him, leaving you and belly to walk down on your own. you glance over at belly, who is staring at the group of people on the beach, a nervous look on her face. you throw your arm around her. “it’ll be okay bells. it’s actually fun here, promise. just…don’t talk to anyone weird. or too old. and if you get uncomfortable just come find me. we’ll figure it out.”
she smiles at you gratefully. “thank you, (y/n). i’ll be okay. you go have fun with your friends.”
you squeeze her shoulder gently as your friend nicole waves you over. “love you bells.”
“love you too.”
you hurry over to nicole and hug her tightly. “oh, nicole! it’s so good to see you!”
“it’s so good to see you too!” she exclaims. as you pull away from the hug, she offers you a beer and you take it. “how have you been?”
“so good,” you tell her. “the school year was great and i actually have a boyfriend back home!”
“ohhh!!” nicole squeals. “what’s his name? how long have you been together? tell me everything.”
you fill her in on all of the details of your relationship, with her squealing excitedly at the end of almost every sentence. as soon as you finish talking, you feel a hand on your shoulder, and turn to see your friend shayla. it was your turn to squeal in excitement as you hug her tightly, then nicole does the same.
“shayla! i didn’t know you were coming this early!” nicole exclaims. shayla shrugs.
“yeah, mum and dad decided we’d come now rather than later,” shayla replies. “deb season, you know? they want me to be prepared.”
“oh, don’t remind me,” nicole sighs. “i’m helping as a big sister this year. i don’t know if i’m ready to go through it again.”
shayla laughs. “cant be that bad! at least, that’s what i’m telling myself.”
“do you know who’s gonna escort you?” nicole asks. shayla glances at you quickly.
“well, it’s so early, i don’t know…”
nicole scoffs. “shayla, you are the most prepared and efficient person i know. i know you have someone in mind.”
“well,” shayla gives you an embarrassed smile. “i was kinda thinking i would try to get to know steven more. see if he would escort me.”
both of the girls look at you, waiting for your reaction. usually, you hated when girls had a crush on your brother. at school, girls who did would try to become friends with you to get closer to him, and it was tiring. but this was different. shayla was one of the most kind, incredible people you have ever met. you knew she had no ill intentions. also, steven could use a good influence like her in his life. “that sounds like a great idea, shayla.” you say sincerely. she breathes an obvious sigh of relief.
“i’m so glad you said that,” she says. “i would never wanna pursue something if it meant it would hurt our friendship. no man is worth that.”
you nod. “you’re so right.”
nicole’s eyes drift over your shoulder. “i’m, uh…i’ll be right back.”
without either of you replying, she walks away. you watch her as she walks directly to conrad, who had apparently been by himself in that moment. you and shayla look at each other and laugh.
“she is so down bad for him,” shayla says. you nod.
“painful to watch sometimes.”
shayla laughs again. “well, i’ll see you later too, (y/n). i’m gonna go talk to steven.” you grin at her.
“have fun!”
as soon as she walks away and you’re left on your own, your phone buzzes. you pull it out to see a text from peter. finally. it had only been all day since you’d heard from him.
peter: been busy today babe sorry for not replying
peter: at party rn it’s super fun!
peter: look at this video lol there was a tall ass diving board i jumped in fully clothed
peter: (attachment, one video)
you smile at his messages and click on the video he sent you. it took a moment to load, but once it did, you almost dropped your phone in shock. it wasn’t a video of him jumping off the diving board. it was a video of him making out with a random girl. you watch in pure shock, unable to move. as the video goes on, you realize it wasn’t a random girl. it was cassie, your best friend. you watch the video closely, hoping for any sign that this was some sort of a dare or big joke, but there was nothing. they were just heavily making out, his hands up her shirt and her hands in his hair, and someone just happened to be filming on peter’s phone.
peter: oh shit
you stare at your phone for a full minute after the video ended, unsure what to do next. then, looking at your other hand, you knew. you chugged the rest of your beer, found a cooler, and chugged another one. when you started your third one, you felt a hand on your shoulder. “hey.”
you turn around to see jeremiah standing there, smiling at you. “you having fun?” he asks. you nod, chugging almost half of the new beer in one sip.
“so much fun,” you finish off the third beer and go to grab another one, but jeremiah grabs your hand.
“wait, be careful,” he says. “how many have you had?”
“that was like, my first,” you lie, opening a new beer. “don’t worry, jere. i’ll be fine. just having some fun.”
he stares at you, a concerned look on his face. “(y/n), you never drink like this. what’s going on?”
“nothing!” you say cheerfully. “just trying to start the summer out right,” you look around and see a group of people dancing nearby. you take a sip of your beer and motion towards them. “i’m going to dance.”
“(y/n),” jeremiah calls, but you were already stumbling away from him, towards the people dancing. shayla and steven were in that group, shayla doing more dancing than steven was, but both of them looking like they were having fun nonetheless. shayla grins at you as you approach, grabbing your free hand and spinning you around. you giggle and dance with her for a while, finishing off your beer as you do. you were definitely drunk at this point, which wasn’t hard for you, since you were a lightweight. at things like this, you usually stopped at one beer or seltzer, so you definitely were not used to four. it was good, though. it made you forget about peter and cassie betraying you.
it made you forget until now.
if you were honest, it didn’t surprise you as much as you thought it would. cassie had been the one to introduce you to peter, and she always had a weird connection to him. you almost felt stupid for not seeing this coming sooner. most of all though, you were just angry. angry at peter for leading you on and cheating on you. angry at cassie for supposedly being your best friend and then doing this the second you’re not in town. angry at both of them for ruining the one good thing you had in a long time. as you walk towards the beer cooler again, jeremiah catches up to you and grabs your arm, holding you back. “okay, no. i’m cutting you off, (y/n).”
“let go of me,” you grumble quietly, trying to free yourself from his grip, but he was much stronger than you. he grabbed your other arm so you were forced to face him.
“(y/n), what’s going on with you?”
“nothing!” you yell at him, catching the attention of a few people around you, but you were too far gone to care. “nothings going on with me! i’m just trying to have a good time, okay?”
jeremiah smiles awkwardly at a few people around you, trying to divert the attention away from the two of you. “i know you, (y/n). why are you acting like this? you’re never like this.”
“so what?” you say. “so what if i am?”
a few girls call jeremiah’s name and attempt to wave him over to them, but he ignores them. “come on, we should get you home.”
“i don’t wanna go home,” you say hardly, looking him in the eyes. he looks genuinely concerned for you. somehow, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “i wanna stay here.”
“(y/n)…” he’s cut off by the sound of police sirens and people yelling and scrambling around to pick up the beer cans and leave quickly. jeremiah swears under his breath and grabs your hand, pulling you away from the beach. “guess you have no choice.”
the two of you run towards his car, following everyone else who was running away from the scene. you look around frantically, but can’t find belly, conrad, or steven. “jere, wait, where’s everyone else?”
jeremiah shakes his head. “i’ll find them in a second. gotta get you to the car.”
“but belly, jere,” you say. “she’s probably scared shitless.”
he shakes his head again. “she found someone to hang out with. i’m sure she’s with him. i’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“but—“
“i’ll find her, (y/n).” he cuts you off. “just please get in the car first.” at this point, he sounds like he’s begging you. you look him in his eyes but have to look away quickly. the desperation in his expression was too painful to look at. you nod.
“okay.”
he squeezes your hand then opens the passenger door for you, allowing you to climb in. “i’ll be right back, okay? stay here.”
and with that, he’s running back towards the beach like he was superman. at that moment, it felt like he was, honestly. running back towards the cops in order to save everyone else. you weren’t sure that you knew many people who would do that. while you’re still alone in the car, you pull out your phone to finally reply to peter, who had texted you again, five times.
peter: (y/n) omg i’m so sorry
peter: wrong video but i swear it’s not what it looks like
peter: we’re both so drunk we were dared to do it and that’s why it was recorded
peter: please (y/n) please we didn’t mean it
peter: please believe me
you: fuck you
and with that, you block his number, and set your phone down. you wonder if you would have that much confidence if you were sober. you wonder if you would believe him if you were sober. it was a good thing that you weren’t, you figured. it was for the best. two months didn’t have to mean much, right? just a silly little mistake you made to date him that ended badly, but it didn’t matter, right? yeah your best friend betrayed you, but no worries, right?
suddenly, you realize that you are crying. sobbing, actually. uncontrollable sobs escape from your lips and you sit in the dark car, alone, sobbing your heart out. how was this fair? what did you do to deserve to lose your best friend and boyfriend all at once? the fact that if he hadn’t accidentally sent you that video then you never would have known made it worse. it made you wonder if this had been going on for a while, and he had just slipped up now. you could not stop crying.
even when the car doors opened and jeremiah slid into the seat next to you, you could not stop crying. he looks at you, shocked. “(y/n)?” he asks softly, unsure. the rest of the car is quiet, but you could feel everyone else’s presence in the backseat. you shake your head.
“i’m… i’m fine,” you say unconvincingly. “i’ll be, i’ll be okay.” you nod at jeremiah, who was staring at you with the same desperation on his face from before. he seems unconvinced, but starts the car, glancing at you again before he drives away. in the dark, he reaches over and grabs your hand, holding it tightly in his. you continue to cry silently for the rest of the ride home, squeezing his hand with both of yours.
“mind setting the table for me sweetheart?” susannah asks you as you enter the kitchen, freshly changed out of your wet clothes into a swimsuit with flowy shorts and a hoodie over it. you nod and take the plates from her.
“smells good,” you comment, walking past her. “what are you making?”
“garlic parmesan pasta,” she grins. “chicken on the side, too.”
you grin. you always loved susannah’s cooking. laurel never cooked much, which you didn’t blame her for, but you really cherished susannah’s home cooked meals. every summer you made sure you spent a lot of time in the kitchen with her, eager to learn. it was also the best chance you got to bond with her. you have always known that she loves you, of course, but you could also always tell that belly was her favorite. she was the baby of the five of you, which automatically gave her more attention from the moms. also, she spent almost all of her time with them most summers, while you went and hung out with the boys. you didn’t mind, really, but it was sometimes frustrating to see how clearly they favored your little sister over you.
“everyone!” laurel yells up the stairs, “dinners ready!”
there’s a herd of footsteps as the boys come clambering down the stairs, taking their spots at the table. “where belly?” laurel asks. you look towards the glass doors facing the pool and see belly sitting outside, looking out towards the beach. “i’ll get her.”
as soon as you open the door, belly jumps and turns to you. she relaxes when she sees that it’s you and smiles. “hey.”
“hi bells,” you say. “dinners ready. you okay?”
she nods. “yeah, yeah. just thinking. you know.” she exchanges a knowing look with you, and you nod. you really did know. she was thinking about conrad. for as long as you could remember, belly had the biggest crush on conrad, and it always came into full bloom during the summer, not unlike your feelings for jeremiah. you were alike in that way, and there was always unspoken knowledge between the two of you, both of you knowing how the other felt yet rarely discussing it. the sister bond you shared made that easier.
“what’s for dinner?” belly asks, standing from her chair and breaking your train of thought. you open the door for her.
“pasta and chicken.”
“yum!”
after dinner, you excused yourself up to your bedroom to unpack and settle in. after a few hours, which somehow went from you unpacking to completely rearranging your room, there was a knock on your door. “come in!”
“what are you doing?” jeremiah asks, standing in your doorframe with an amused expression on his face. you look around your messy room then shrug.
“rearranging.”
he laughs and shakes his head at you. “you’re insane. ready for a break in your interior design?”
“only if that means it’s beach time.”
“of course that means it’s beach time,” he laughs as you immediately take off your hoodie that was covering your swimsuit and walk past him, out the door.
“let’s go then!”
jeremiah follows you down the stairs, and you smile as you pass by the moms, who were sitting on the couch with belly, watching a movie. “off to the beach?” laurel asks. you nod.
“yup! be back soon.”
susannah blows you both a kiss, “be safe!”
“we will!” you and jeremiah both call out, already out the door. a few minutes later, the two of you were sitting in the sand of the dark beach, listening to the waves crash in front of you.
“best thing and worst thing from your year, go,” jeremiah says suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence the two of you had been sharing. you consider his question for a minute before answering.
“best thing… got my license! me and belly actually went on a whole day trip to the shops that are a couple hours away, it was super fun,” you say. jeremiah grins.
“licensed! can’t wait to be a passenger princess all summer!” you laugh and shove his arm lightly.
“don’t act like you don’t have your license,” you say. “i fully except you to be driving me around all the time too.”
he nods. “maybe. worst thing, now.”
you shrug. “i don’t know. it was a pretty good year. i guess maybe breaking my wrist in the fall.”
“yeah, no shit that would suck!” jeremiah exclaims. “why didn’t you tell me you did?”
“i don’t know,” you say honestly. “i guess it just didn’t come up.”
“just didn’t come up in the hundreds of texts and facetime calls,” jeremiah shakes his head. “i see how it is.”
you laugh and so does he, then you find yourself in silence again. he was staring forward into the water but you turned your head and stared at him, picking up on every feature of his. his eyes sparkled, reflecting the moonlight. his whole face was soft, relaxed, and you loved seeing him like this. he was always putting on a show, trying to entertain the world around him, but in moments like this when it was just the two of you, he was more vulnerable. you loved it. you hate that you have to keep reminding yourself that you’re with peter now, and happy, so you can’t think of jeremiah like that anymore.
you clear your throat to break the silence. “your turn. best and worst of the year.”
“oh, that’s easy,” he says, meeting your gaze. “best was when i got moved up to varsity football this past season. got to play with connie. it was incredible.”
“jere!” you exclaim, “that’s amazing! forget my damn wrist, you could’ve told me that earlier!”
“i was kinda caught up in it,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “that’s why i never really could call you during the football season. let it get to my head pretty bad, but it was okay in the end.”
“no shame in being proud of yourself for something great,” you assure him. “we just gotta get better at updating each other on the big things in our lives, not just the little random things.”
“you mean i shouldn’t just call you to tell you i saw a taylor swift lookalike at chipotle?”
“oh, no,” you say. “you totally still need to tell me that. but like, mention the other life changing things too.”
“deal,” jeremiah says, smiling as you catch his gaze. his expression was always soft when he looked at you. you would never let yourself admit it, but you had never seen him look at anyone else the same way before. you didn’t want to start thinking that, though. it would get your hopes up too much. but it didn’t even matter now. peter.
“worst thing?” you ask. he sighs.
“i guess when conrad quit the football team.”
your eyes widen. “what?! why?”
he shakes his head, suddenly defeated. his whole demeanor changed, and it was clear that this was really weighing down on him. “i don’t know. i wish i knew. he’s just been so…different, lately. we used to hang out and he was so excited for me to be on the team with him. then it’s like a flip switched. suddenly he’s so cold to me, like, always. wont even look at a football. didn’t come to a single one of my games after he quit— which was mid season, did i mention? he barely even talks to me or mom anymore. seeing you guys today was the happiest i’ve seen him in forever.”
“oh, jere,” you say softly, studying his expression. you had noticed a change in conrad today, too, but you didn’t know if it was in your head or not. he had seemed so happy around belly, or laurel, but otherwise he was more closed off than usual. you couldn’t imagine what jeremiah was feeling, having to watch his best friend drift away from him like that. “have you talked to him about it?”
he shrugs. “he won’t ever say anything. acts like nothing is wrong with him. i don’t know. i just feel terrible for mom. she’s so, lost, i guess. like, when she was sick, he was kinda the rock in the family. he’s always been the most levelheaded. losing that support…i don’t know. it’s weird. i’m trying to be better at stuff like that for her, but i’m not conrad. i can’t be as good as him.”
“that’s one thing you can’t start believing, that you’re not good enough,” you say. “you’re both just as important to your family as the other. just because he handles different things as you doesn’t mean that he’s better. with the other stuff…i don’t know, jere. he’s levelheaded, yeah, but he’s also crazy stubborn. when he’s caught up in his head about something there’s no getting him out.”
“don’t i know it,” he grumbles. then, he shakes his head and looks at you, a calmer expression on his face. “thank you, (y/n). conrad is too complicated to figure out usually. i really appreciate you listening,” he grabs your hand. “i’ve missed you so much. just talking about that makes me feel better.”
you squeeze his hand. “of course. you know you can always talk to me.”
your silence this time is broken by your phone buzzing. then buzzing again. and again. you sigh. “sorry, thought i silenced this.”
pulling out your phone, you see that the texts are from peter.
peter: (y/n) :((
peter: u promised to call me every night at 10
peter: what are u doing???
“oh shit,” you mumble, pulling your hand away from jeremiah to text back. he looks at you, concerned.
“is everything okay? who is it?”
you nod. “it’s um, peter.”
“peter?” he asks. “who’s peter?”
“my,” you hesitate, still staring at your phone. “my uh, boyfriend.”
jeremiah visibly stiffens, moving slightly away from you. “boyfriend, huh?” his tone is no longer warm. his voice is strained, and he stares out into the water. “didn’t mention that in the best thing from your year. or in any of our facetimes, or texts.”
“it’s fairly new,” you explain, still attempting to avoid looking at him. the air between you two felt weird, suddenly. less comfortable. “um, i was gonna mention it at some point tonight. i just was waiting to see how it went with him.”
“yeah.”
with that, jeremiah suddenly stands up and stretches. “i could really go for a swim,” he looks down at you, a forced smile on his face. “i am really happy for you, (y/n). c’mon, come swim.”
but he didn’t wait for you to follow him. he turned away quickly and took big steps towards the water. as soon as he was in it deep enough, he dove under a wave, staying under the water for a concerning amount of time, before coming up for air, and doing it again. you sigh. you weren’t sure what that was about, but you weren’t about to make it worse. you quickly text peter back, then turn off your phone, following jeremiah into the ocean.
the air outside was cold, which was shocking for a mid-june morning. you were awake early, as you often were since you preferred to be productive in the mornings, but today it was for a different reason. you had barely slept all night. this morning, you were returning to susannah’s beach house in cousins. you looked forward to this day every year, and it was always just as special every time it came around.
“you all ready?” a voice breaks your silence as laurel peaks her head out the front door, watching you sit on the porch swing. you smile at her.
“definitely,” you say. “coffee on the counter, did you see it?”
she walks over to you and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “i did. thank you. now get your bag in the car, we’ll leave in twenty.”
“can i drive?” you ask, following her inside. she shakes her head.
“already told steven he could.”
as she says it, steven comes down the stairs and ruffles your hair as he walks past you. “sorry!”
“no you’re not,” you grumble, turning away to grab your bags. you had just gotten your license less than a month ago but steven has had his for months, so he usually got first dibs on driving. you usually didn’t mind, but the drive to cousins was special to you, and you would have loved to be able to make the drive yourself. not driving, you thought, would at least give you more time to prepare. although, you would have appreciated the distraction. this year felt different. you felt different. you weren’t really sure if it was a good different or not.
part of you was terrified, for some reason. most summers, you went to cousins completely disconnected from the world back at home. cousins was it’s own world, in your mind. the people, the house, the entire atmosphere, it was magical. it absolutely transported you, and you let it. this year, you had a connection to back home. your boyfriend, peter. you and him started dating two months ago after your best friend cassie introduced you to him, and things have been incredible ever since. if you were honest, you had never really committed to a guy before him, but it seemed to be working out well so far. the reason why you were terrified, you figured, was because this trip to cousins could change that. jeremiah fisher could change that.
you had talked to plenty of guys, even dated a few for a couple weeks or so, but as soon as jeremiah fisher comes around, you lose sight of everything — and everyone — around you. he somehow has that effect on you, and he has your whole life. but you do really like peter, so you told yourself you wouldn’t ruin something good for yourself again, just because you’ve always been waiting for jeremiah. you’ve made a fool of yourself enough over the years, attempting to get closer to him as he flirts with everyone in the world, that you know it was time to change something.
you just hope that you’ll be able to stick to it.
“(y/n),” you’re woken up by your sister belly poking your side, “(y/n), you’re drooling on me.”
you groggily open your eyes and stretch, moving away from her, “sorry bells.”
“s’kay,” she yawns. “we’re almost there, anyways. and your phones been blowing up. all from peter,” she says the last part teasingly, pushing your phone towards you. you laugh as you unlock your phone, seeing that she was right, and peter had texted you seven times.
peter: good morning!!
peter: sorry ik you’ve probably been up for hours
peter: omg and youre probably almost to the beach already
peter: miss u already
peter: there’s a party tomorrow night i was thinking about going to if that’s okay with you
peter: cassie’s gonna be there and stuff and you know i’ll be thinking about you forever so you’d have nothing to worry about
peter: just let me know if you’re comfortable with it okay?
you: oh my peter
you: you don’t need my permission to go have fun!!! of course you can go to the party :)
you: just text me and keep me updated okay? and make sure there’s a DD
peter: of course. you’re the best!
you: 🤍🤍
you smile at your phone and as soon you look back up, you were entering cousins. you didn’t realize how long you had slept for, but as soon as you saw the sign, your heart skipped a beat. you were back. you were back, and everything was good, including your lovely boyfriend back home. this summer was going to be perfect, you just knew it. your fears from this morning were fading and you decided that no matter what happens, you’re going to be okay. you’re going to have a great summer.
“did susannah get a new car?” steven asks as he pulls the car into the driveway of the house. laurel nods, a small smile forming on her face as the house comes into few. the same smile was present on everyone’s faces in the car. this place was so special to all of you.
“yeah, she gets bored with her cars easily,” laurel finally says, a hint of distaste in her voice. “she just likes to change things often.”
steven was barely listening and was halfway out of the car by the time laurel was done talking. his eyes were set on susannah, who was standing at the doorway, watching your car pull in. she looked as beautiful and radiant as ever, and even more so, especially since it was obvious that she was healthier now than she was last summer. her hair got longer and the glow on her face was back, lighting up her eyes and giving her the most approachable demeanor possible. she was perfect.
you get out of the car shortly after steven, and follow him up the steps to hug susannah tightly. she rubs your back as she hugs you. “oh sweet (y/n), you beautiful girl. i’m so happy to see you.”
“i’ve missed you so much,” you say back, and she gives you another squeeze before letting you go and hugging laurel. you look down by the car at steven, who was now talking to jeremiah, who had his back to you. your breath caught in your throat when you saw him, but you shook it off. that was not what this was going to be. he was one of your best friends, your family. that was all. that didn’t stop your heart rate from speeding up the second that he turned around and your eyes met his beautiful, bright blue ones. his face softened as soon as he saw you, but his smile remained just as wide. you move towards him and he watches you, his eyes never leaving yours as you approach him.
“(y/n),” he says, looking you up and down and grinning. “you look different.”
you knit your eyebrows and look down at yourself. “good different?”
jeremiah laughs. “always good.”
you giggle and wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you into a close hug. you take in his scent, a mix of saltwater and his vanilla cologne, the one that conrad and steven have always made fun of him for. they always say it makes him smell too girly. you have always thought he smelled perfect.
“i have so much to tell you,” jeremiah says as you pull away from the hug. “this summer is going to be amazing!”
“i can’t wait,” you grin. the two of you always spent the first night sitting on the beach after dinner, talking all night. he would fill you in on his school year, and you would fill him in on yours. it usually ended with both of you in the ocean and sandy, but it was always one of your favorite traditions.
as you turn away from jeremiah, belly rushes out of the car and pulls him into a hug and he spins her around. your eyes catch on conrad, who had just rounded the corner of the house, and was staring at them. he meets your eye and smiles sheepishly, knowing that you had caught him. you smile and go pull him into a tight hug. “hey connie.”
“hey (y/n). it’s good to see you,” he says. as you pull apart, his eyes are caught on belly again, who is staring at him this time, too. you smile at the sight and push conrad towards her gently. the corner of his mouth slightly turns up and he walks to her as you walk back over to jeremiah and steven, who were giggling to themselves. when jeremiah sees you walking towards them, he waves you over quickly.
“belly flop time,” he says, a wide grin on his face. you laugh.
“yes!” the three of you walk towards conrad and belly, who were laughing with each other, seemingly in their own world.
“hey, i don’t know about you guys but…” steven pretends to check his nonexistent watch on his wrist. “i think it’s time…for a…belly flop!”
belly squeals as the boys grab her, conrad carrying her by her armpits and the other two grabbing her feet. you giggle and lead the way, opening the gate to the pool and letting them pass through. you and the boys count down from three and they throw belly in the water. you all laugh as she flails around, her clothes completely soaked. your smile fades as the boys turn to you, mischievous smiles on their faces. “no.”
“it’s not fair to only throw belly in there, is it?” steven says innocently. you shake your head and attempt to run away, but before you can, jeremiah has his arms wrapped around your waist and lifts you effortlessly in the air. steven and conrad help him and grab your legs, counting down from three just like they did with belly. she dove out of the way as the boys throw you into the water. luckily, the water was warm, and while the feeling of your wet clothes was uncomfortable on your skin, the water was quite refreshing. belly giggles as you swim towards her and pull her into a hug, but in the hug, you whisper in her ear. “let’s get back at them?”
she nods as if she read your mind, and when you pull apart and begin to approach the edge, she’s suddenly struggling. “wait, wait guys, my ankle.”
“what’s wrong belly?” conrad asks. she continues struggling in staying afloat.
“i…i hurt my ankle i think. i cant walk on it,” she reaches her arm out to conrad. “help me out.”
he reaches out, and as their hands connect she pulls him into the water and the other boys burst out in laughter, jeremiah doubling over in laughter with his hands on his knees. taking advantage of this moment, you grab his hands and pull him into the water too, completely catching him off guard as he falls into the water next to you. now steven is standing on the edge, struggling to breathe from laughing so hard. “no way they got both of you!”
jeremiah flips his hair out of his face and looks up at steven. “c’mon steven, waters nice! you don’t wanna be left out, do you?”
steven shakes his head, still laughing. “i think i’ll survive being left out today. these shoes were expensive.”
“lame!” jeremiah calls out as steven walks towards the house, his laughter still echoing in the air. jeremiah turns his attention to you and swims over to you, grabbing your waist and spinning you around. “i’ll get you back for pulling me in here.”
you laugh. “sure you will. c’mon, let’s go dry off for dinner.”
he hops out of the side of the pool and offers an arm to help you out. he pulls you out of the pool with ease. “race you upstairs?”
“that sounds dangerous,” you say. “wet feet on tile and hardwood floor? with your clumsiness?”
he mocks offense. “you think i’m clumsy? ridiculous.”
“jere, you tripped over a penny on the beach last summer,” you say. “and i don’t think we’ve had a summer here where we haven’t had to bring you to the e.r. from some injury.”
“the sand is trippy!” he claims. “and i just live an adventurous lifestyle. which is why i’m totally beating you upstairs.”
“better catch me first!” you say and immediately take off sprinting, up the stairs to the porch and through the sliding glass doors, which you attempt to close in front of jeremiah, who caught up with you quickly. carefully, you run through the house but the slippery floors really did make it difficult. soon, you’re halfway up the stairs and jeremiah is right behind you, laughing. “you’re such a cheater!”
“i’m just smarter than you!” you yell as you approach your bedroom, which was right next to his. he shakes his head.
“no way. just a cheater,” he grins at you one more time as he enters his bedroom, closing the door behind him. you walk into yours as well, your head spinning from the first thirty minutes you had spent here. jeremiah made everything around you feel insignificant and you felt like you were floating when he touched you. and for the first time in your life, you hated the feeling. you were with peter now. you had to focus on peter, not jeremiah.
it was hard to do that when you were spending the next two months living with him, your rooms right next to each other, and the walls thin enough that you could hear everything in each others rooms. whenever he played music, you heard every word. every conversation, every ounce of laughter, every time either of you cried. it was good, having a close connection to him, but you knew it was just going to make things so much harder.
hi my wonderful people i apologize for leaving u hanging yet again! but i have made a decision about this story and i am MOVING IT TO WATTPAD!!!!!
part of what keeps me away from updating is just how difficult it is to write on this platform LMAOO so i will be REWRITING on wattpad!!!
my wattpad is @superncvas and i will be posting it asap
"as soon as jeremiah fisher comes around, you lose sight of everything - and everyone - around you."
(jeremiah fisher x reader)
(started on
i’m sorry if this is inconvenient to anyone, i will keep what i have written on here up of course but i wanna make the story better and i will be able to do that on wattpad
haven’t decided but once i write it there maybe i will post it over here again if anyone doesn’t use wattpad (let me know)
SO SOON I PROMISE🥰🥰 i wanna make it super good so it won’t be coming out tonight but i’ll take the time to write it tomorrow and be posting it asap🤗🤗 gotta make it perfect
