#tsxselfharm

[aliceinfunland]

Dear Diary... (Auguest 28 2014)

My body broke today at the office. I was looking through a terms and agreements page and the next thing I know, but arms are down over my desk and my head is resting resting there and...I'm asleep. I actually had a nap...at the office. It was weird...I feel refreshed, but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that weird as hell dream....

I'm holding a dark pink bow and arrow. The colour is so vibrant and it's like they're just one piece, not two.

I'm aiming it at...someone? Something? I'm not exactly sure. I know I'l aiming to kill.

Now here's the weird part.

It was like some invisible force took my hands and controlled my body. It forced me to aim that weapon at myself. As my arms were moving, the arrow changed to a pistol. A simple pistol with the trigger at the back (like I was holding the arrow still) instead of the bottom.

The other part was the safety. I let go of that and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I was screaming and crying and begging not to die.

Then I released the arrow. It went right through my temple.

I could see the third person perspective of my body. It was just slunked there with an arrow-not a bullet-through its head.

It was weird. I was going to kill and then...I turned on myself. I turned on myself and I died. Nobody came to help.

I'm cold and shaking. I think I'm going to take the rest of today off. I need my kittens. I'm tired.