#tuckwald

[kiramessa]

eat our hearts alive → malcolm/clara (ttoi/dw)

when is a monster not a monster? oh, when you love it. - caitlyn siehl.

[kiramessa]

Eat Our Hearts Alive is all posted and finished. I’m keeping it up til the summer, then it (and pretty much all my fics) are going to be deleted. Make of that what you will.

[kiramessa]

I mentioned a few days ago I’d create an oldies playlist for Eat Our Hearts Alive, and I did just that. Enjoy!

[kiramessa]

wrt my Malcolm x Clara fic, Eat Our Hearts Alive: Part of me just wants to repost the damn thing, edited and fixed, because good lord, my writing sucked last year. I’ve kind of resigned myself to knowing that I won’t be able to turn it into an original work anyway, despite my best efforts, and it feels weird keeping the fic to myself when there’s people who clearly want to read it (as evidenced by people asking me to share it in the past and that other post I just rebageled).

I’ll probably do it anyway regardless of a lack of interest, but I just want to know who cares. So, uh. I guess to get a sense of it: Who would be interested in me reposting a rewritten, edited, better version of Eat Our Hearts Alive?

[kiramessa]

I knew 'In All Weathers' was going to become increasingly painful to read the closer events got to The Goolding Inquiry, but in a way 'The Trial Separation' came almost as a relief, because at least they're no longer stuck in that awful limbo of pretending their marriage wasn't falling apart. Anyway, superbly written (as always). I eagerly await the final chapters, even though I'm genuinely terrified that things may end tragically for those two. But surely, SURELY, they won't, right? *hopeful*.

First of all, thank you very much! You’re so kind. ♥ The thing about the story coming closer the Inquiry is that I kind of cheated a little, you know? The very first chapter takes place during Clara’s “toughing it out” period of their marriage, post-sacking, when she’s still thinking it’ll be worth the wait and the disappointment. So in a way the readers have been somewhat close to the Inquiry this whole time~ It’s been a cloud hanging over the entire story up to this point, much like Malcolm’s job itself.

But regardless of that – Nah, it won’t end tragically. Their marriage has been bad enough so far, wouldn’t you say? Love is all about finding a balance, and a clear acceptance of that is what the disillusionment from previous chapters (The Bad Day, The Hidden Letters, The Heart of it All, and now The Trial Separation) seemed to lack. There wasn’t a balance. Or rather, they weren’t aware of needing a balance. And that was dangerous.

Malcolm and Clara’s relationship is basically like that jpg of the dog in the bar that’s on fire, and he’s just sitting there, blank faced, going, “This is fine.” That was them. Was them. But separating (somewhat) and admitting that they can be such awful, selfish people together since they’re awful and selfish for each other was a huge step for them both. Well, Clara admitting that she’s like this is a huge step. Malcolm admitting that he gets just as much out of this monstrous arrangement was a pretty big step for him, I think, since he’s putting himself so totally into her hands/trusting her not to break him completely (he really is just so used to being used and put to someone else’s idea of work, isn’t he?), and Clara is certainly compassionate enough to understand the importance of his trust.

It’s just a shame that Malcolm’s past is catching up with him at the same time as these revelations, and the Inquiry’s clearly getting in the way of all that. But life needs its balances, too.

Anyway, don’t worry. This story definitely isn’t a tragedy. I never had acute sadness in mind from the start when I wrote this. I mean, sure, I was sad while writing a lot of it because I was lonely, but that’s something else. The story itself was never intended to be a kind of ‘drag along punishment piece’ tugging on the reader’s heartstrings. It was always intended to be as realistic and satisfying a romance as possible, given the strange arrangement and the situations going into it (the secrecy, the tension, the lying, etc.). And part of being realistic about romance is realizing that it isn’t always all that great. Gothic romance writers understood this perfectly. Beyond that, the origin of the word passion, pati, doesn’t mean suffering for nothin’:

The word passion comes via Old French from Latin pati ‘to suffer’. The Passion refers to the suffering of Jesus Christ. The sexual sense dates from the late 16th century. Passionate in late Middle English included the senses ‘easily moved to passion’ and ‘enraged’. Passive (Late Middle English) comes from the same root, from the sense of ‘being acted upon’, and compassion (Middle English) is literally ‘suffering with’ someone, while compatible (Late Middle English) comes from the Latin for ‘fit to suffer with’. (source)

I’m mostly concerned with the very last tidbit, as far as the future of their relationships goes. So that’s something to think about.

Personally I think I’ve been pretty candid in the past about how it’s all going to end, but people just flat out don’t believe me when I say it won’t be sad!

[emilievitnux]

Can you write a Malcolm x Clara story with established relationship revolving around Malcolm in prison or perhaps the reunion after he gets out? I'm rubbish at prompting, sorry.

Hey! I actually loved your prompt so don’t worry! :) 

Here it is, hope you’ll like it : 

He had asked her to leave and to never come back (and she did, she didn’t wanted to, but he had always been good at make the peoples he loved go). He had asked her to never visit him (and she had tried at first, but he had always refused to see her, and after some times she stopped to come). He had asked to not write to him (and she did, but he never answered, not even once, but that didn’t stop her and he received letters from him every weeks, he tried to be strong enough to reap it without reading it… Most of the time he wasn’t).

He didn’t want to see her here, in this prison. Even if it’s wasn’t Alcatraz and most of the guys here was thief or con artist, not serial killers. And even if he spends most of his time in the charge of the garden, he didn’t want her to see him like this. Without his suit, his armor, his powers. She had told him that she would wait for him, that she would write every day and that she would come to see him every week. And she would have if he had let her. But no, she needed to be happy, to find someone else and to let him in his cell, alone like he has always has been.

But she wanted to be with him, because she didn’t loved the Spin Doctor, the powerful man, the heart and brain on his party, she loved the man, Malcolm Tucker. So she tried, and tried but he had always said no to letter, visit to any contact with her. When he stopped to receive letter and visit he thought that he had finally win, that she had forget him. He should have known that Clara Oswald wasn’t one to loose easily.

One day as he was in the library he thought he had heard her laugh. He could have recognized her laugh anywhere because it always made his heart beat faster. But how could he hear her laugh here? So he simply thinks he was getting crazy and left the library with his books. The next weeks as he was passing by the same library he thought he had seen her, talking to the prisoner in charge of the library. But it must have been a mistake, because Clara Oswald couldn’t be in here, he was getting crazy. Two days letter he heard that there the prison now had a Book Club. Apparently some English teacher decided that spending his free time with prisoners was a hobby like any other.

When he came for the first meeting he learns two things. The First was that the English teacher wasn’t a man but a young and beautiful brunette. And the second was that Clara Oswald would never ever stop excepted if she wanted to.

He simply stared at her while she was sitting here, in the library surrounded by others prisoners, talking about books like she was in her classroom. He still wasn’t able to move or talk even when she turned to him, smiled and say “Hello Malcolm”.

Really, you can’t win against a control freak. 

[emilievitnux]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Thick of It (TV), Doctor Who (2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clara Oswin Oswald/Malcolm Tucker Characters: Clara Oswin Oswald, Malcolm Tucker Series: Part 2 of The First Time Summary:

The first time she saw him she thought he wanted to save her, it was confirmed when he became the only flicker of light in her life. But you can't just fell in love with your husband's Spin Doctor without paying consequences.

This is the companion fic of my OS "The PM's Wife", same story but from Clara's POV.

[emilievitnux]

Is there some kind of Fics Rec of ALL the Malcolm x Clara fic?

I think I found 9 or 10 Malcolm x Clara fics out there between Ao3, ff.net and Tumblr and I REALLY need more!