#turtle is sorry

[kurtlyturtle]

My dad keeps saying that I lost weight, I don't see it but at least he doesn't ask me to lift up my shirt so that he could see my stomach and tell me how my stomach is so big

So, that's a win

[snapeingturtle]

I don't even have the energy to make Snape posts anymore rip

[kurtlyturtle]

Sorry I haven't been posting all that often... Too much shit is going on right now and I've been trying to keep it all under control...

I'll start posting more due to it being Thanksgiving break

[snapeingturtle]

Team I never talk about my feelings or problems to my friends out of fear of being a burden so I make vent posts on Tumblr just to delete them later.

[kurtlyturtle]

People at irl say my actual name wrong, and only my family can actually say it right.

This has caused me to try and separate those two beings.

I believe that nobody at school knows the actual me because whenever I try to to correct people, they immediately get it wrong and then I become the character that they want me to be.

My actual name has a rolled ŕ and nobody says it right except for my family, which means they only truly know the actual me somewhat.

I hate the way I act at school.

I hate that i can't talk about my interests with everyone except for some people and even then I still hide it with jokes.

They only people that I believe who know the actual me is here on tumblr even when I try to cover it up.

At least I can say my feelings on here instead of irl, I will never tell someone I know irl how I truly feel.

I can't even comprehend the way that they would look at me, they would look at me with total disappointment and distance as I spill my true feelings.

[kurtlyturtle]

Would people actually know if I disappeared?

I doubt it