#tw crushes

[our-arospec-experience]

My aro-spec experience is having the strange knowledge of ‘in another life person x, y and z would’ve been individuals I’d have a crush on’

:)

[cursedchildofchaos]

I’ve almost unlocked a new kind of fictional crush for myself:

Mysterious smart reclusive guy (who you don’t knows name, at least not for a bit), who doesn’t know how to socialize normally but is actually kind of funny despite this.

[3remy3]

MY FRIEND JUST EXPLAINED WHAT HAVING A CRUSH FEELS LIKE AND I JUST RELIZED HOW OBLIVIOUS I AM TO EVERY CRUSH I HAVE-

[our-arospec-experience]

Im honestly confused on my identity. I have no clue whether I'm attracted to people or not. For context, Im almost 16, which isn't a lot of time to experience romantic attraction, but i feel like i should've at least had, like, one boyfriend.

People my age go through multiple relationships, meanwhile I can't even get a crush. The last time I had a crush, I'm not even sure if it was a crush or gender envy (trans ftm). I still don't know.

I know there's one person who has a crush on me, but he probably thinks I'm cis. Honestly, I don't even know what to do about that. Right now I'm pretending to be taken, but I don't know how far I'm willing to take it. I'd rather pretend to be taken then completely turn the guy down, because. I don't know.

Maybe I should try to date him? Maybe it won't be so bad? Maybe I'm just demiromantic and that's why it's hard for me to even crush on someone?

Im not expecting you to make the decision for me, but I would like some advice.

Should I try dating the guy who likes me, even if I end up not developing feelings for him?

I would like to preface this with my complete lack of experience in dating and romantic relationships - so take all this with a grain of salt.

Having said that, I would say (and I'm pretty sure most people would agree with me) it's probably best to not force yourself into a relationship when you don't feel that way towards them. You might end up hurting yourself and the guy who likes you in the process. But, this is your own choice. I'm so sorry there's no easy solution :(

if anyone else has advice, feel free to add on.

Edit: there’s some great advice in the comments

[our-arospec-experience]

Uhhhh arospecs who do that whole romantic attraction shit what does a crush feel like cuz low-key don't think I've felt what I'm currently feeling to anyone I actually know IRL before (I feel like describing it will skew the answer so I'm just gonna not) and I'm not sure if it's a hellcombo of aesthetic, platonic & sexual attraction or if this is what a romantic crush is please send help (or don't if this isn't the right place for that ig)

yeah, it can be tough anon :( really all you can do is take the time to explore your feelings and be kind to yourself in the process. There's no time limit to understanding new feelings.

(If you want a post where I explained the basic differences between attractions - it’s down below)

Post by @our-arospec-experience · 1 image

💬 1  🔁 136  ❤️ 231 · I don’t know if I’m allo or aro but why is love so confusing? like genuinely what is the difference between platonic a

[our-arospec-experience]

very funny i didnt fully realise i was aroace till 18 even though every relationship i ever had i only had a 'crush' on them because i suspected they had a crush on me (i was funnily always right) and only got into said relationships because they confessed and asked first;

Then whenever we broke up I never really felt sad about it, never understood why people were always so upset over breakups (obviously until i realised i was aro and that allos experience it completely differently);

and even during the relationships some romantic things i did enjoy like cuddling, spending time just doing things together, but them always wanting to be together or around me, kissing, anything more intimate, that all made me uncomfortable and upset, i never knew why until now.

I'm glad you've come to terms with your identity :)

[our-arospec-experience]

My aro experience is realizing that people actually have crushes on me/think I'm attractive and being anxious about it because I'm closeted.

that’s definitely a common arospec experience. Remember you are valid no matter what, and it is perfectly fine to tell people you are not interested.

[our-arospec-experience]

I recently realised that most of what I've been experiencing as romantic attraction probably isn't, because I'm dating a person and it so wildly other than most of my dating experiences before this and so I'm kind of wondering if I'm greyromantic, but then I've also had like 4-6 of these more intense crushes in my life (2 of them were when I was like under 10 so I can't properly analyse them to know for sure) which i feel like could be a regular amount but I'm really not sure. It's all very confusing and sudden

it can be very hard to figure out your identity! Good luck, and remember, no matter what you decide on, you are valid :)