(TW functioning labels, ableism, meltdowns, doctors, etc.)
I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 10, and I was more specifically diagnosed with "High functioning autism". The person my psychiatrist saw was me on easy days, on days when I was fully calm, on days when I could easily communicate, and had no other job than to sit and do what she told me to do.
She hadn't seen me go fully mute for months on end, she hadn't seen me fully unable to take care of my basic needs, she hadn't seen me have violent meltdowns, she hadn't seen me hit and bite myself because I couldn't identify my emotions, she hadn't seen me run into the street because I have nothing in my brain telling me not to, she hadn't seen me unable to change clothes for multiple days, she hadn't seen me only able to shower once a week, she hadn't seen me unable to properly exist in gened, she hadn't seen me have severe meltdowns over a change I liked just because I didnt expect it, she hadn't seen me put a small hole in a wall during a meltdown, she hadn't seen me as a full time AAC user, she hadn't seen me as a part time AAC user, she hadn't seen me unable to sleep without an intensely large amount of nightlights, she hadn't seen me unable to bathe myself until age 9 or 10, etc.
She saw me in a calm state, once every few months, on days when I could communicate easily and do what she asked. That is all she saw of me, her asking me questions, having me do things, and asking my mom questions.
If she saw me, and I was the way I described in front of her, my diagnosis would probably be closer to something like "moderate functioning autism".
But here's the thing, ON DIFFERENT DAYS, I FIT DIFFERENT CRITERIA FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF AUTISM DIAGNOSES.
My ability to "Function" varies so so much, and this makes functioning labels extremely inaccurate.
Now, let's use support needs to describe me. I am a person who's support needs fluctuate from med-high. I have med-high support needs. This is accurate for me, and it is not ableist.
I wanted to talk about this to describe how functioning labels suck, and also to talk about how support needs fluctuate; and that is okay.

















