#tw kinky

[pandagirl45]

Tony: pull my hair

Bucky: *breaks a knife bright red*

Tony: *grins*

[system-of-a-feather]

My Experiences with Age Regression

I saw the ask on @sophies-system and her art, and really sat there and went “Ya know no one talks about that and I used to be really shy / embarrassed about it, so lets talk about it”. 

I haven’t 100% read up too much on age regression itself, so this is entirely based on my experiences and if I say something that is miss-informed or not going to the main understanding of it, I apologize and would appreciate kind correction since this is entirely just some recent thoughts on it.

So for some of those who have followed the blog, I have been kind of working on digesting a lot of really hard trauma that I - as Riku - have experienced but shoved away to a corner, buried deep, and pretended like it was fine because as someone with extreme dissociative tendencies, that shit be easy for me. Though lately as I went about digging up a lot of that and sitting with it, I’ve been having a lot of flashbacks and breakdowns about it over the past like.... 6 months to a year or so.

Sometimes those flashbacks are well.. usual flashbacks and all, but sometimes - especially at night - they’d hit me hard and frequently rather than handling the flashbacks in the current present of myself in the place that I am as a 19 year old college student far away from any of the trouble, I’d kind of find myself age regressing and feeling “really smol” as I would call it.

A lot of what I would be experiencing and feeling in the moment would be fear, hurt, wanting and needing protection, wanting and needing support, feeling weak, vulnerable, and in need of someone - anyone to hold me, protect me, and watch over me since I felt really young, smol, and vulnerable. The first few times it happened, I was too scared and embarrassed to ask for help or do anything about it and would just regularly try to fight my way back to trying to feel “big” but it didn’t often help so I would be stuck there feeling really scared and smol until I managed to force myself out of it which wasn’t fun.

Truthfully though, one time Ray was actually around the headspace and noticed my distress and state and I guess just kinda sat beside me rather than switching out and just kind of filled that need to be cared for and directed me to our little’s stuff and stuff that made our little feel safe and comfortable while reassuring me that he was going to watch over while I slept and keep me safe and in that moment, I felt very relaxed, happy, and calm. 

For a moment, the loss of childhood that had put me in that state almost felt replaced with the childhood I should have been able to have and it gave me a sense of peace and understanding that the current area is safe. It also kind of really made me realize that what I was going through wasn’t me being “childish, immature, and cringey” but rather a part of me really trying to cry out and understand what had happened in the past, coping with the loss, and really needing support.

Age regression isn’t something that should be made “k**ky” nor is it something that is weird or cringey. It is a genuine symptom and way of coping with childhood trauma and it is 100% something okay to experience.

From personal experience, having someone internal or external support you through these moments can help work through these moments and change a weird and difficult thing to something that can be positive, healing, and good. If you don’t have someone to help you, sometimes just allowing yourself to BE smol, to BE “little” can help - cartoons, doodling, games, etc.

Anyways, that is just a little bit of discussion on age regression that I felt like sharing. Hope you enjoyed.

-Riku (Host)

[omgcatboi]

Kinky stuff but:

Urgg, my moobs feel so sore and sensitive from being kinky with myself. I've been rough with myself for the past week or more and I'm really starting to feel it. They're kinda swollen ( not in the oooo they're sooooo big way but the feels swollen but doesn't look bigger way ) and I think I need to take a break haha. Ouchie. I think the increase in this activity is because I switched testosterone brands ??? I was buying online from genius rx and now I'm back to picking them up at Winn Dixie. So it's a totally different brand. Maybe this stuff is like... Better T? Idk. I know my transition always picks back up when I use this brand. So that's probably it.

[urlocalllama]

im very cant hold eyes open , but i wanted to finish the next fi c tonite... i cannot . here is funny 😳 excerpt with n o spoiler .