#tw substance usage

[deceel]

Hi-hello! Before reading further, please know there are adult themes such as substance usage and manipulation and more referenced in the pages below cut. These are only first 2 out of 30.

If you don't like the subjects or feel uncomfortable with them, please do not read further. So please stay safe and hydrated, thank you!

[abbastuck]

KANKRI VANTAS

Kankri Vantas, Seer of Blood, 6 sweeps (13), He/Any, Batkind/Clubkind, counterculturalGuardian

First and foremost, he's a punk, and he'll make sure you understand that very clearly. Not a goth, not an emo, P-U-N-K. He is against societal norms and aims to be as subversive as she can possibly manage... while also making sure that it's clear just exactly what their rebellion entails and who isn't allowed to take part of it without stepping into a different subculture. And taking great care to make sure she's not actually doing anything too risky that might put her life on the line. So in short, they’re a keyboard warrior claiming to be revolutionary.

Kankri is something of a recluse, only going out in person to attend musical events for his favorite artists who are most likely not to get culled on stage for anti-empirical beliefs. The only person of the friend group who has actually met it in person would be Mituna, who only came by to help install a VPN after dropping Kankri's IP in DMs. Most of his days are spent listening to pirated music, arguing with people online about just what aesthetic they fall in line with, and recreational usage of hard substances for shits and giggles.

While she holds zero interest in quadrants or pailing, she openly talks about various types of attractions and perversions in a show of solidarity to those outcast for their sexual tastes. A lot of his clothing depicts explicit messages and imagery. Even still, he refuses to discuss his own or any of his peers, due to the belief that anyone who has not been banished should not be exploring fetish content, and discussing it is basically as bad as forcing someone to watch porn.

Kankri’s mutation is something kept under close wraps, but it’s still known to some. Nothing escapes the watchful eye of Kurloz, and he himself admitted his own color to Porrim after snorting a line during a conversation that was more the oppression olympics. The wider part of his friend group assumes he is a rustblood with too much time.

[fuckingevil15yrold]

ughhh I suck and need to fucking die. idk why im so used to becoming a trashy person in the future. im already so used to getting sexualized that my old plan for when I was an adult was just to exploit myself because that’s like the only good thing im at. I’ve already gotten the attention unwanted or whatever but I don’t even care anymore because it’s like so small to me. im just stuck like in this body and was gonna die young anyway so I didn’t care. but I have to be better for him snd im trying. I really am trying to work on myself and not just throw my life away or become some shitty wh.re because I have someone who ACTUALLY loves me. someone who doesn’t want me because they find me only physically attractive but im so used to that being the norm where it’s almost like I can’t even process that or whatever. like wow you have low standards if you actually like me. Also I guess I already had the mentality that it’s so normal for me to just get used for anything because im willing to just let people drain me of anything because people pleasing is like a good trait I have and also everyone else in my family went through it , im not gonna suddenly stop that if it seems useless to do so. People never took me seriously or with respect because I’m just a dumb little bitch and everything was just handed to me. I had a goal to just get basic grades and a job but that seems impossible. I was only amazing at literature / reading class or whatever you call it and im mediocre at everything else. Im not important, I never was important and it Should’ve stayed that way. also from a logical standpoint for me i was also used to it. sexual shit sells , if i can just act like a bimbo and dumb myself down then I’d get a ton a money. That’s how everyone treated me might as well play into the part. I was never gonna be some amazing thing or do something important I don’t understand how people have hopes on me becoming a decent human being , yeah everyone else was able to "heal" and get jobs afterwards but I like have nothing im good at.

all I do is just make characters , be in fandoms , write and be annoying about it that’s all I talk about. I’m not interesting beyond being the funny gay horny friend. im good at being trashy. im good at being sexually appealing (apparently) and as much as I hate that and try to change and be better and more civil and be nice, it won’t ever be enough.

now I just wish I could drown it out with alcohol and smoke until the clouds fill my haze and I start coughing. but for now the blood on my thighs are okay , i deserve it. maybe in another universe I was better. I COULDVE been a beautiful white girl with blonde silky hair and all I cared about was like if I looked cute in my outfit , if my makeup was good and if I could stay up.

[fuckingevil15yrold]

I would LOVE♥️ a beer and a whole pack of cigarettes right now😍. WE CANT DANCE THE DREAD AWAY