Just something I kind of want to say, it's vague on purpose
So, a few weeks ago, I had one of the worst panic/PTSD episodes this year. It was so bad that I ended up dissociating and got violently ill as if I had the flu.
That was when I started having feelings for Kars, because wanting to be held and protected by somebody who's basically indestructible
I never explained what happened or how.
I know it sounds like a very small thing that shouldn't have triggered me to the point of having a week long panic attack and illness, but it did.
I'm not going to go into too much detail, but I was watching one of my favorite YouTubers play a new game. I was already having pretty weird mental health during that time too.
The game is very interesting, it's very scary and very well done
Unfortunately something in that game that happens to a character, happened to me in real life many many many years ago. I'm getting shaky thinking about it, but Kars and Esi are with me right now 🫂
Very vague incoming, it won't really make sense:
The only difference between the character and me is that I got "lucky". But I didn't know what was happening to me until I got older. I realized that if I didn't get "lucky" then... My life would've been much different than it is now.
What happened to that character kind of snapped something in my brain.
The YouTuber sounded very empathetic and it's not his fault at all for not putting trigger warnings.
I do not blame anyone at all for my episode.
But just know that I have this videogame blocked, every single tag I can think of. It makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.
What's funny is the gore and the horrific imagery didn't affect me. Something that happened to a single character sent me over the edge did.
I actually felt like I was going to die that's how bad the episode was
So if you see I'm not liking certain posts of yours involving a horror game, please do not take it personally.
I always avoid media involving that, but the fact that the exact same situation happened to me as that character, it destroyed my mental health in that moment.
I'm very sorry that I'm being sensitive and overreacting to something this small, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm not ignoring those posts because I dislike that character or you for posting about them, I'm avoiding it for my own mental health
Edit: my dash is flooded with " # (thing)" with almost every post haha, at least I'm not seeing what any of those posts say. Thank heavens for tag blocking is all I can say. I mean it, like I have to scroll so far to get to regular posts ^^"
