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TWD ~ Negan Imagine - “The Tower”

Imagine about the 15th episode of season 10.

Summary: Instead of being able to get some more of their long anticipated domestic bliss, Negan and the Reader have to move along with the rest into the abandoned hospital that has more challenges in store for them than they expected.

“Ready?”, you heard Negan call out as you shifted onto the couch in the living room, wrapping your bathrobe a little tighter around your body to get comfortable as you watched him strolling from the kitchen towards you, with two plates of pancakes in his hands. The sun was already shining brightly, its beams streaming through the large windows, filling the room up with light and warmth while you enjoyed the best morning in a whole while. Your body was still recovering from the ordeal you have had to put it through during the last days, from the sleep deprivation and the countless hours you had to spent on your feet but it was getting better, it really getting better since you’d come back to Alexandria and Negan had finally stepped back through those gates. You’ve had your first good night’s sleep again, had finally been able to wake up next to him again without the worries that had plagued you during this last time. You could finally have some of that domestic bliss you’d wished for so long, simply by being able to spend the night in this house with him instead of the cell, by being able to have the little luxury of having a hot shower with him in the morning and now, hell now being able to lay on this couch and watch him bring you his self cooked breakfast. It was your little heaven, really, and no matter how long it would last until the next move of the whisperers would come, you relished in each minute of it. “So ready!”, you answered to him with a chuckle, watching as he rounded the couch and placed one of the plates and a fork carefully in your hands. “Servin’ up: Pancakes a la Negan”, he said, grinning widely at you as you shifted a little on the couch while he let himself fall next you with a small, content groan. “If they’re only half as good as that dough-”, you started, glancing down onto the pancakes and the glistening maple syrup that was slightly dribbled onto them, only to be cut of by him as another laugh rumbled through his chest. “They’re much fuckin’ better”, he said, licking his lips as he moved the plate onto his lap and started to dig into the pancakes along with you before you took your first bite and damn, it was good. “You’re gonna have to do them more often now”, you mumbled as you mumbled after the first bites, a big smile on your face as you relished in the tastiness while you could see Negan’s face lightening up at those last words that gave you another glimpse at the future you’d hopefully get now. A happy hum fell from his lips as he abandoned the pancakes for a moment and leaned towards you, enough to met your lips with a loving kiss that made your heart flutter all over again. “Fuck, your lips are all sticky from that damn syrup”, he chuckled as soon as he reluctantly let go of you, a big, goofy grin still on his lips before he leaned right in to give you another peck right as a knock on the front door sounded through to you. “Ah shit”, you sighed against his skin, feeling how he leaned back in the very moment you heard Daryl’s voice echo inside, calling your name. Slightly irritated you got on your feet and wrapped your bathrobe a little tighter around your body as you tapped to the door and opened it, looking right into your half-brother’s face that was filled with tension. “Pack some stuff, secure the house and get to the gates...we gotta get out, Beta and the herd’s coming,”

And just like that the domestic bliss was over again, at least for now, as you found yourself back on the road. Alexandria already laid far behind you and all of what was left of Hilltop walked along with you down some old streets that winded themselves through the forest and were supposed to lead you to an old, abandoned tower. Daryl had grumbled something about scouting it a while back before shit hit the fan, making sure that it was cleared and as safe as possible. It all had happened fast, not leaving much room for questions but the first plan was to let them find out that Alexandria was completely abandoned just so they would assume you’d all holed up at Oceanside. Once they’d head towards the ocean, the rest would be figured out but for now, it was already an achievement that you were only mere minutes away from reaching your temporary home. “I think she’s avoiding me”, Negan suddenly grumbled as he let out a sigh, his mine swinging somewhere between tense and worried as you gave him a confused look for a moment. “Who?” “Lydia”, he answered immediately as his glance fell on you and a thick gulp traveled down his throat while your eyes fell on the girl who was walking beside Judith far off from the both of you. Now that you thought about it, you could see it too. She’d been taking the furthest position from you since you’d left Alexandria, almost as if she was making sure to keep a distance between her and him, and it didn’t really surprise you, not after she must have found out what had happened to her mother. “Kid’s been through enough shit”, Negan said, heavily gulping as his eyes swayed from you to the ground for a moment as he sighed thickly ,”I didn’t realize what this crap was gonna do to her afterwards I...and now I’ve added onto that pile of shit...” “You didn’t have another choice”, you said, trying to reassure him as you reached for his hand to give it a soft squeeze, hoping that you could relax him at least a tiny bit. You damn well knew how much of a soft spot he had for kids, how much it meant to him to find elements of his old job back in this world and even act as some kind of mentor, shit, maybe even father figure for especially Judith and Lydia, and you could tell that it hit a nerve in him that the kid he’d been trying to protect was now seeing him as the bad guy. So instead of relaxing he grew more tense for a moment as he clenched his law and shook his head softly. “Yeah, still”, he gulped, sighting as he ran one hand over his salt and pepper stubble, “I know”, you mumbled, feeling how Negan was grasping your hand a little tighter while you followed the group onto a smaller street,”Maybe you get the chance to talk to her later.” A small sigh came back from him as response and another small squeeze of his, while you could see the discomfort still clearly written all over him. “I don’t think it’s just you as well. it’s normal that she’s rattled now and keeps her distance...just give her some time to process this”, you tried to support him a little more just before a higher building started to peak through the trees, growing more visible with each step you took towards it until you took one last turn and stood right in front of it, looking straight at the large red cross that was painted onto it’s outside and the “emergency” sign that was boasting over the entrance while a disbelieving chuckle fell from Negan’s lips as he stared at the building. “The tower’s a fuckin’ hospital?”

Being holed up in a hospital out of all places really didn’t lift Negan’s spirits, that’s the one thing you knew for sure when you started to make your way into the abandoned building that was as run down as you’d expect a place to be that haven’t had life in it for years. The paint and wallpaper had peeled themselves off the walls a long time ago, the stairs squeaked under every step you took on your way to its top floor, the ground and the windowsills were covered in dust and some mud, and the furniture’s states resembled the one in the cabin you’d been stuck in after the Hilltop fires, sordid but thankfully still intact enough to use it. Most of the group quickly settled into the rooms, turning them into pantries for the supplies or common rooms that were filled with old couches, tables and some spare hospital beds before the first tasks got distributed in hopes to get some structure into this mess. Part of you hoped that the task you’d been assigned to would distract Negan a little bit from the thoughts in his head and the discomfort the hospital brought into his body, even if it just meant cooking in some makeshift kitchen in a room at the end of one of the long hospital hallways. The scent of the stew that was still simmering on the small electric stove was filling the room, and it actually smelled and had tasted much better than what its ingredients would let you assume; some vegetables and a possum Daryl had brought in before heading out again to check the surrounding area. “Isn’t as good as the pancakes, huh?”, Negan chuckled softly as he caught you glimpsing at the stew eliciting a small laugh to fall from your lips. “Nah, but that’s damn hard to reach anyway”, you said back, watching a small grin grow on his lips that made you feel like the rest the ease and happiness from this morning was still somewhere swinging through him, right before he grew a little more serious again. “Has everybody eaten?”, he asked, glancing into the pot where the rest of the stew remained, before glimpsing back up at you, “The kids too? Didn’t see it when I got some of the stuff from the other room. “Yeah”, you nodded, before you gulped slightly,”Everybody except Lydia.” “Hmm”, he mumbled, nodding slightly as he moved the wooden spoon through the pot and let out a small sigh. ”You think I can bring her some?...I don’t know, as ice breaker?”, he asked, chuckling almost insecurely before his eyes met yours again and a thicker sigh left his lips, “It’s just...I just want her to get that shit out of the system, if she wants to say something, yell at me or fucking hit me, hell, I want her to do that. I just don’t want that crap to eat her up from the inside...I don’t know, I don’t want a kid to make the same mistakes as I...or we did and suffer.” “And I...I don’t know I just feel responsible”, he quickly added, gulping thickly as he kept on stirring in the pot, as if he was desperately trying to let it distract him a little more as you stepped closer and caressed softly over his arm. “Well, then give it a try”, you said, giving him a small, supportive smile as his eyes locked with yours,”Even if she reacts not the way you wish, at least she knows then that she can talk to you.” “Yeah”, he slowly mumbled, though still clearly tense as he moved to grasp another bowl to fill it with some of the stew, before he leaned in to peck your lips. “Thank you”, he mumbled against your skin, his lips curling slightly up for a moment before he backed away and let a thick breath fall from his lips as he made his way out of the room.

You could feel yourself growing tense as well as you waited for him to come back, enough to make you get back to cutting some more carrots, potatoes and tomatoes for dinner already. Heavy footsteps echoed down the hallway again, nearing with each step as you turned around and saw Negan walking back through the door, the full bowl still in his hand and a gloomy look on his face. “I know, shouldn’t have expected anything else, I just-”, he sighed in the moment he could catch your glance while he placed the bowl back on the small table beside your cutting board and ran his hand tensely over the side of his face. “It’s shit either way, I know”, you mumbled, moving closer to him to him as his glance got stuck on the bowl for another moment. “All I got was an ‘Most of us wished you’d died too’“,he chuckled bitterly though you could hear the defeat sounding through his voice as he gulped thickly,”So that didn’t work.” “Shit”, you said, feeling some pain sneak up in you just by the bare sight of the look on his face while you stepped closer to your husband and reached out to him, moving your hand to cup and softly caress the side of his neck, hoping to relax him a little. “I just feel like some piece of shit”,he mumbled, the tension clearly coating his voice as you held him a little tighter and moved your hand to his jaw trying to make him look at you, “This deal, this whole-...I just finally wanna make things right after being stuck in that shit fucking cell and somehow I’m still fucking up.” “No, you’re not”, you said, shaking your head as his eyes locked with yours,”You did what you had to do...it’s just shit that this pulls these kinda side effects with itself.” “Yeah, it is”, Negan chuckled bitterly before he gulped thickly once more,“Fuck, now I’m pulling the whole mood down, huh? We had such an awesome morning and now I-” “You’re not pulling the mood down, we’re stuck in some hospital while our home’s probably crammed full with walkers right now, that’s really not the best situation”,you said, trying to give him a supportive smile to loosen the atmosphere a little bit before you reached up to gives his lips a soft peck ,”Don’t you worry about that, alright?” “Alright”, he said, right before he cleared his throat and nodded towards the cut vegetables on your cutting board and the stew that was still slightly simmering on the stove. “Alright, let’s get back to this shit”, he said, giving you a tired smile before he moved his head to press a swift kiss against your hand,”At least I can do something to get these people fed.” And he did, he got right back to cooking, preparing the vegetables and the last bit of rest meat you had left to get some new stew to boil on the stove while he threw in some comments and jokes here and there, clearly trying to distract himself from all the factors that brought discomfort in his body right now. You went along with it for his sake, it wouldn’t change the situation for sure, it wouldn’t change the memories the hospital setting was popping back up in him, nor wouldn’t it let the thoughts in his head vanish but helping him distract himself was better than dwelling on something that couldn’t be changed at the moment. It went on like this for a while, until he started to grow unusually quiet for a couple of minutes, right before his glance found yours again as he let out a deep sigh and let go of the stew and his spoon. “I need you to answer me something and I-...I need you to be 100% honest, alright?” “Yeah”, you nodded, looking a little confusedly at him as his glance swayed uncomfortably through the room, right before it landed back on you. “If the war hadn’t ended the way it did, and if you hadn’t been there...do you think I would’ve lost it?” “What?” “I mean...I just asked myself if I-”, he stumbled, scratching his beard stubble as his glance fell to the ground for a moment,”If things has been different...if I could’ve turned into someone like Alpha.” “No”,it slipped out of your lips before you had even completely processed what he had just said there while you stared at him, starting to shake your head vehemently,”Hell no, you wouldn’t.” “But what I did after Simon? That walkie call to Michonne? This shit was fucked up. If you wouldn’t have been there to make me realize what shit I talked there and made me do that second call, fuck If Eugene hadn’t manipulated those guns and we’d won-” “Negan, you wouldn’t have turned into someone like Alpha, you wouldn’t. And I’m not just saying that to calm you down, I mean it”, you cut him off before he could talk himself more into a rage while you stepped a little closer to him, reaching out to grasp his arm to make sure that he was looking at you for this, “You’re nothing like her.” You still stared a little disbelieving at him, trying to figure out where this was coming from. You got his reasoning, you got how seeing another leader who was so far gone might have let some ugly thoughts slip into his head, but right now you felt like he didn’t look at all the things that clearly distinguished him from her and you had to find a way to make him realize exactly this. “Y’know there were things I got to know in the time you were gone or stuff I didn’t get to tell you before that night but that woman was a manipulative, abusive monster, before shit hit the fan and after”, you started, sighing softly as Negan’s eyes locked with yours and you could feel some pain sneaking up in you just thinking about what you were gonna tell him. “She killed Lydia’s dad and manipulated her into thinking he died because of her”,you said, gulping thickly as you couldn’t only feel that pain simmering within you but also the anger for what that woman had done to her own kid,”She told her own daughter she’d leave her behind if it would come hard on hard from the moment on this walker shit started and I don’t wanna even think about what kinda abusive shit she else put her through. There was nothing truly good about this bitch.” You sighed, feeling how Negan’s eyes drifted off you for a moment before you stroke over the smooth leather that covered his arm, hoping that he was listening fully to you. “You would have never done these things, she was already far gone before the world turned into this”,you started again, gulping hardly as you glimpsed at his face that was still filled up with tension ,”And this whole Simon, walkie thing...even if I wouldn’t have been there and you’d won...i’m sure you would’ve realized that you weren’t acting like yourself there. Maybe it would have taken a moment but there is no way you wouldn’t have realized it.” For the first time Negan slowly nodded, even though his reaction was still reluctant. “You could have pulled yourself out of this too, I know it”,you insisted once more, moving a little closer to him as you reached your other hand up to softly cup his face,”you wouldn’t have turned into someone like her, no matter what had happened...Negan, you were a good person who’d slipped on the wrong path for a moment because of the things you had to go through, she was a bad person to begin with. That’s a big difference.” “Okay”, he finally mumbled, starting to nod as his eyes met yours again, finally giving you the feeling that your words had reached his mind and had started to push the doubts out of his head. “Was that also why you’re being so down since we left?”, you carefully asked after a couple of silent moments as he slowly started to nod again. “Yeah...I guess, it’s the damn mix of it all”,he sighed, gulping thickly as he shrugged his shoulders,”Just coming all up now...You had it last night, I’m having it now...fuck.” “It’s okay”,you mumbled, moving in to wrap your arms around his torso and lean up to press a gentle kiss against his lips,”Everything’s gonna work out, in some way or another. Always has.” “Yeah”, Negan mumbled against your lips, pulling you for a moment closer against him to cradle you against his chest before he leaned in to steal another, this time deeper kiss. He hummed against your lips, his touches growing a little more desperate as if he was trying to let your kiss push the tension and toxicity of his thoughts out of his body until he reluctantly started to let go to catch his breath again. “Fuck, I needed that...thank you”, he mumbled with a small chuckle, leaning in to give your lips another peck before he slowly forced himself to back away as the bubbling sound of the stew that started to boil up again sounded through to you again. “Can’t let that fucker go bad”, he sighed, turning the heat a little lower and starting to stir again right as the sound of nearing footsteps got louder and made you turn around to the door as soon as they halted. “Hey”, Gabriel said, standing in the door frame as he nodded towards you,”Would you come over for a moment? Got a question”

A little confused, yet curious you followed Gabriel down the endless seeming hallway into one of the converted common rooms at the other end of the floor that was filled up with a couple of people, most of them sitting by the windows to check the area, while three others including Diane and Caleb sat around the table in the middle staring at what laid in front of them. Just as you stepped a little closer and could peak over one of the men’s shoulders, you could see the map of the area that was unfolded on the table, some pens and rulers beside it. Gabriel quickly walked up to it, leaning himself against the edge of the table as he let out another small sigh as soon as you reached his side. “Can you remember which of those streets were better to travel?”, he asked as he nodded towards the map, moving his fingertip between two paths on its surface, before glancing back at you. “We need to be sure that if we have the choice, we take the best one with the least obstacles as soon as we get out. Can’t take many risks”, he said, pondering a little before he nodded to the men who still wore some of their Hilltop gear, ”We can’t take the main road back, it’s too obvious...anyway, Oscar and Caleb say it’s Abbey road, Diane would go for Colston Street, so I wanna have some more opinions.” Leaning a little over the table to get a better look at the map, you glimpsed at the circled parts that were drawn around the communities and a smaller, thinner one around the hospital you were holed up in, and then to the familiar streets that were barely lines on the paper. “Hmm”, you mumbled, pressing your lips on one another as you pondered, trying to trace the paths and remember where they lead and how much of a damage they’d gotten during these last times. You’d been outside more this last while, but matching the actual memories of the paths with the lines on the paper took you a moment to process, especially since this this decision wouldn’t be a minor one. You looked around a little more, trying to trace the lines a little with your fingers before you glanced up at Gabriel,”I’d go for Abbey road as well, I think.” “Colston is easier to pass”, Diane almost immediately chimed in, directing your attention to her as she shifted a little over her chair to move closer to the map,”Especially after the last storms.” “Yeah, yeah it is”,you nodded, glimpsing back at the map,”But it also one of the paths that also lead to Oceanside, or did I mix that up?” “No, it does”, Gabriel said, moving a little closer in as he traced his fingers along the street on the paper, stopping at the branches of the way that ultimately lead to the community by the sea. “If they really head for Oceanside as we think, they might use that street and let some of their people guard it even after they’ve passed. Doesn’t have to happen but it’s possible...I think Colston is too risky to be honest”, you mumbled before you softly shrugged your shoulders, ”I wouldn’t call myself an expert on this and I know Abbey road has some detours but at least it doesn’t head towards Oceanside.” “That was my point as well”,you could hear Caleb say as soon as you glanced up,”I don’t wanna run into any of those skin freaks while we’re out with the big group.” You hummed in agreement as Caleb’s glance briefly brushed over you, realizing that it was probably the first time in a while you’d talked to him. You hadn’t spoken much to him after the way things had went down years ago and his reactions had left a bitter taste in your mouth, so much that anything that could have turned into a friendship had quickly vanished into nothing but the occasional “hello” when you saw him on Alexandria’s streets. Even that didn’t happen all to often after he’d joined one of the groups that regularly went on long runs, and yet you were quite glad that he agreed with you on this decision. “Alright”,Gabriel sighed, letting himself fall into the old chair beside him,”Then that’s settled for now.” You nodded slowly, already pushing yourself away from the table to get yourself back to the makeshift kitchen before Gabriel rose his voice again. “Does the food you’ve been preparing last for this evening?” “Negan’s just making another pot, I think it should last if nobody takes all too much...”, you said, giving him another small nod,”And we still got some vegetables left for today’s ration so I guess we could make something out of them too.” “And tomorrow? In case we have to stay?”, he asked further while you tried to calculate and guess in your head how much all the survivors in here were gonna eat before you heard Diane’s chair scrapping against the concrete ground as she stood up and glanced at Gabriel and you. “We still got a batch of tomatoes, carrots and that kinda stuff left for that, right?” “Yeah”,you said, before motioning softly outside ,”They’re in the pantry by the kitchen...and if Daryl hunts something we should be good. Not optimal but it’s gonna be enough somehow. “Sounds good”, Gabriel said with a relieved sigh before he leaned back over the map, a concentrated look on his face as you glimpsed at him. “Okay, well then I’ll get back to the kitchen”, you said, giving the others another nod before you made your way out of the kitchen again, only to hear the loud echos of a familiar voice sounding through the hallway as soon as you stepped into it. It was the sound of Lydia’s voice, distraught, angry and desperate as it sounded through to you, quiet enough for you to realize that it wasn’t coming from any of the rooms nearby where she’d been most of the time but instead from somewhere at the end of the hallway. Tension started to wash over you as you stopped for a moment and tried to figure out what was happening, if she was in the kitchen with Negan or was actually reacting this intensely to anyone else before the sound of her voice suddenly stopped and it got quiet again. Slowly, you started to make your way down the hallway again, unsure of what would expect you down there while you got closer to the kitchen, before you reached the end of the hallway and only reluctantly glimpsed into the room on your left as you heard muffled cries coming out of it. The tension that had grown all over you suddenly relaxed a bit as you saw Negan standing in the middle of the room, hugging a sobbing Lydia who was trembling heavily and had her head buried in his leather jacket, while he rested his chin on top of the girl’s head. ”It’s okay”, he mumbled shakily and repeatedly as you stood almost glued to the ground for a moment there before Negan’s eyes found you, misty and filled with some tears as well. You glanced back at him, half pained as you heard Lydia’s sobbed, enough to let a lump grow in your throat as well, half relieved that all of her agony got released now, this way and that Negan had been able to play his part. You looked at him, giving him a soft, warm smile before his lips started to mirror it, the tears still glistening in his eyes as he held Lydia. You gave him one more loving glance before you quietly headed into the pantry on your right, trying to give the situation the space it needed. As quiet as you could you tried to sort some of the vegetable’s out you could still use for this evening, trying to at least use your time somehow useful while there was a little warmth that was growing inside you. No matter how painful it was to see Lydia in pain after everything she’d been through and seeing those tears in Negan’s eyes on top of it, you couldn’t put in words how proud you were of him and his ways to handle this whole thing. Hell, he’d make one awesome dad. He’d be the best, you really had no doubt there. It took a little while until you heard some voices coming out of the room again, barely loud enough to notice before you caught from your spot beside the vegetables in the back of the room how Lydia made her back down the hallway. You waited a moment longer before you grabbed the basket of vegetables and slowly made your way out of the room and into the hallway, catching Negan leaning against the table by the wall, his eyes immediately looking up as soon as he heard the sound of your foot steps. You moved into the room and quickly put the basked down by the door as your glance wandered over him, his eyes still a little misty as you moved in and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into another hug. “How is she now?”, you quietly asked, holding him as you felt him wrapping his arms around you as well, cradling you against his chest. “Better, I think. Just glad she didn’t bottle it all up”, he mumbled with a thick gulp as he held you a little tighter. “Yeah, yeah that’s true...and you did great there”, you mumbled, knowing that he needed to hear that now, especially since it was the full blown truth. “You think? Didn’t hear what I said”, he asked, still holding onto you as you nodded softly against him. “I know you, and I saw the end, that’s enough”,you mumbled, moving your head to press a kiss against his skin before slowly backing enough away to get a good look at him,”You did well, more than that.” “Like some real papa bear”, you chuckled softly to loosen the mood a little, watching as a wider smile grew on his lips as he leaned in to give your lips a peck. You’d hit another spot there, both in you and him as it seemed, eliciting a bunch of warmth to wash out some of the rest tension within you while you could feel him pulling you a little closer against his body. “Y’know, I was thinking, maybe-”, Negan started, right before he got cut off by a stressed and panicked voice that echoed through to you and brought an ice-cold shudder to crawl down your back within the matter of a split second. “They’re coming, they’ve found us. The horde is coming.”