So I'm playing Twilight Princess for the first time.
Since Dusk is finally out, I can enjoy this game with a more euphoric player character and so much quality of life, it's NUTS. I'm super happy that this kinda thing is becoming more and more common...but I have thoughts about the game itself!
I guess this will be part one of...??? I dunno. No idea. Who cares.
TL;DR - Highly positive experience thus far! Some gripes, but nothing that's gonna stop me playing it. Full thoughts below the cut...
I feel like Twilight Princess got a lot of flak in general for some pretty specific things that don't detract from the core experience. I think people saw 3-4 things that really rubbed them wrong and wrote off the whole game as a result. It's fuckin weird to me how hated this game has seemed to be over time, and yet every time I hear anyone talk about it in specific detail, it's nothing but love.
I wanna walk through my first couple hours with the game, and some specific thoughts that sprang up while I was playing. I'm only up to the first major boss, so there's not really much yet.
Ordon Village - I love that they used the Mii creator to make these NPCs. It's such a frickin silly idea. Still kinda wish they hadn't--some of them are NIGHTMARISH. - The goats are dumb. Why the hell is this a thing you need to do TWICE. Surely there was a better way to introduce the player to horseback movement? In fact...THERE IS. RIGHT AFTER THIS. WHY??? - This village is notoriously remote and cut off from the rest of the world by cramped tunnels and broken bridges...so to WHOM is the shopkeep selling her items OTHER than me??? And what does she use the rupees for??? Ordon seems to have literally everything the villagers need to survive. So buying supplies really isn't it. And if I can collect these rupees...why can't Rusl? He's SUPPOSEDLY better with a sword, right??? - Are all the villagers cowards? Are they so backwater that literally ANYTHING other than farming, fleecing their neighbors for money, and having babies is beyond them? The only ones who seem to have any stones are the Mayor and Ilia, since the Mayor is actually traveled and Ilia seems to have some kinda fighting spirit in her. Wonder if she got like...literal divine splash damage from constantly washing my horse in a spring of light power? - The monkeys...they're so cute. I love all of them. Except the boss money. He's gross. But he helped me, so I love him too. :D - GIANT SPIDER ON THE LADDER UP TO MY HOUSE. I FUCKING HATE IT HERE. I THINK ORDON VILLAGE SUCKS. - A lot of people clown on Link for going up to the third floor of his house to stand on a loft with no purpose other than having a window when he could very easily peek his head out his door in the usable space on the second floor...but I get it. If you open the door, it might seem like an invitation! And honestly, if Beth tried to climb that ladder after I opened my door to tell her to fuck off, I'd flat-kick her stupid face. Yes, I want to abuse the child. If Nintendo didn't want me to, they wouldn't have made her flash an O-face at my character every time I fucking moved. I will destroy her skull like she's a secondary character death in a grimy graphic novel TV adaptation. - Ilia gets SHOT WITH AN ARROW and later it's like "she's fine, just knocked out". BITCH *WHAT*??? WHERE DID THAT ARROW GO??? SHE DIDN'T GET BRAINED WITH A BLUNT BOLT--YOU CAN SEE HER EYES WIDEN WITH SHOCK AND HER HEAD SNAP BACK AS HER TORSO JOLTS FORWARD. SHE TOOK A FUCKING ARROW IN THE *BACK*, CUZ. SHE'S FUCKING *DEAD*.
Into the Twilight and Back Again - Every single time I see the transition into the Twilight, I think of Game Grumps: "Oh, and I forgot to mention: we'll be traveling by CHOKE FUCK HAND!" Gets me every single time. - I'm using the Linkle mod because it makes me feel Whole Again, but I know what the transformation sounds like with normal Link. Pay that voice actor more. That's all I'm gonna say. - Impna is my absolute favorite companion in a Zelda game. I REALLY wish we'd gotten companion amiibo again like Wolfie in Breath of the Wild, but it's Midna, Fi, Tatl, and Navi. Imagine if you could opt into your favorite companion from previous games entirely by choice. I'd probably swap between Midna and Fi a LOT. I love both of them...oh no it appears that I might be a little gay about women. :D - That Hyrule Castle Dungeon and Battlements section sucks. It's such a heavy-handed way to teach the player about senses, Midna jumping, and digging. They literally force you to do that shit later. They could've skipped that entire section, gave the player a vision or projection of Zelda as a mysterious voice or hooded figure, she helps us out, we beat the first Shadow Beast, then the tutorial stuff could be in Ordon and Faron Woods instead, much more organic than what's there. They title-dropped and shoved Zelda in your face SO EARLY, the reveal is weightless and doesn't feel earned. And the Faron Woods section is so much better a testing ground for Wolf form. That's probably the biggest change I can think of: just have the player pass out after turning into Wolf, and drag them to the Forest Temple entrance like what happened in the intro. You get the hint that the monkeys are in trouble, see the webs blocking the door inside, remember the first section, and Midna's like "Yeah you can't do that without your lantern, huh? Guess the monkey's gonna die. ANYWAY." And you go BACKWARD through Faron Woods, get stopped by the Light Spirit, then have to retrace your steps through the Woods to get the Tears of Light, since it TELEPORTS YOU BACK TO THE SPRING, ANYWAY. - I don't get why so many people panic and attack/flee from the wolf form. It's so cute! Just a big puppy. I swear, if I turned into an adorable wolfie doggo and people attacked me with a hawk and ran away from me, I'd be PISSED. COME BACK HERE AND GIVE ME BELLY RU--oh shit I think I'm a furrylmfkldjajkfld
The First Temple - The Forest Temple is...fine? Hate the spiders. But this first temple has introduced me to something I know is gonna make me hate it: climbing is SO SLOW. UGH. Can't wait for Dusk to have similar time-savers to Ship of Harkinian with climb, movement, and swim speeds. JFC. - Combat is kinda...I dunno. It's fun, but I wish it was more snappy. I feel like despite the flaws in enemy design, Zelda 64 had much faster, more responsive combat. This feels kinda sluggish and the animations are muddied by the realism just enough for me to not be sure where my swing arcs are going to be. In most fights, it's not an issue. But sometime I get glanced by an enemy doing something I'm not even aware is an attack. It's annoying, but not really enough for me to feel threatened. - Thus far, I feel like the items are all pretty useful. I used everything except for me fishing rod in this dungeon, and it didn't EXCLUSIVELY feel super segregated between "you don't have this item" and "now you have the correct item". It telegraphs to you that wind is important, dangles a chest at you on the other side of a very conspicuous gate with fans over it, and even rewards you paying attention to things outside your direct line of progression with "Yeah, this chest here? Can't snap the web holding it. I wonder...why that would be?" - The miniboss using the dungeon's item against you in battle is SO GOOD. I always thought it was kinda dumb that more middle bosses that guarded each dungeon's treasure didn't use some form of that treasure before you got it. Imagine if there was a skullkid in the Deku Tree that shot you with a slingshot. Or a Biri inside Jabu-Jabu that slung its tentacles at you like a boomerang. This corrupted/brainwashed monkey fella actually uses the Gale Boomerang against you, but it starts the fight by glowing black, like its power is suppressed. And during the fight, it passes over the leaves without disturbing them (important for later) and very noticeably knocks the hanging Deku Baba from the ceiling to chase you! When you beat him and the item is yours to claim, it spins up, glows WHITE, and KICKS UP THE LEAVES TO SHOW ITS TRUE POWER. When you go back to the starting room, you're now rewarded ACTUALLY by being able to throw your new item at the web and get...the compass. Okay, that's kinda lackluster. But since the second half of the dungeon is pretty non-linear, since you'll be revisiting rooms you've already been to but now with a pocket tornado on hand, it's nice to only NOW be told how much stuff you're missing. If you got it before, it would be AGONIZING to not know why you can't find that ONE CHEST or why that ENTIRE SIDE OF THAT ROOM is inaccessible despite there being progression that way. I feel this is SUCH a great first dungeon...I just hope the game doesn't randomly curveball me by making the other dungeons COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Dx - The final boss of the dungeon was REALLY braindead...but I'm also aware that this a baby game for babies and complaining that the first boss is too easy is grounds for me getting my shit rocked by the next boss so I'm gonna just shut up about that. xD
And that's it for now. My wrists hurt. This keyboard sucks for typing. lol
