Pairing : Choi San x F!Reader TW : mentions of past cheating ;slight possessiveness ; fighting ; manipulation ; Word Count : 4.4k
She’s got everything she could ever want, she’s got the man of her dreams, the house of her dreams, she’s living a dream. The entire world envied her, the way her man looked at her with such love in his eyes even when she wasn’t looking back at him, the silver bands that adorned her fingers worth more than most peoples house and cars put together. She’s the luckiest girl in the world, and she is you.
The necklace that perfectly complimented your outfit was draped carefully around your neck and clasped in the back, delicate fingers tracing lightly over the exposed skin of your neck as you stared at yourself in the vanity mirror. “You don’t think I’m too overdressed, do you?” You asked, meeting Sans gaze in the mirror as he rested his chin on your shoulder.
“Of course not, babe. You look amazing.” San hummed, his hands running up and down your arms that would soon be covered by the thin knitted cardigan that hung on the back of the chair. “I’m so lucky I get to sit beside you tonight.” He murmured against the shell of your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
You couldn’t help but admire him as he stood up straight, the crisp white button up that he was wearing hadn’t even gotten wrinkled while he was leaning over. He always looked good, even when he wasn’t dressed up, but right now, he looked amazing. “The people who run the event… They know that I’ll be there with you too, right?” You asked, taking one last look at yourself in the mirror before getting up and following him out of the room.
This was an important event for both you and San, him and the guys were being nominated for an award tonight, but this would also be the first event that you and San would be publicly seen together after getting married. There had been a lot of unofficial photographs from reporters and paparazzi that had been released over time, but none of them were truly trustable, this time though, everyone would know it’s true.
“Of course they know you’ll be there, babe.” He walked over to you as you slipped on the heels that you knew would end up forgotten on the floor by the first half of the event, letting you use his shoulder to hold yourself steady as you stood up straight. “I made sure they remembered to put an extra two seats at the table, one seat for you that’ll be right beside me, and one seat for your purse.” He took a step back, his eyes scanning over you as a warm smile graced his features. “You look absolutely stunning, I’m so lucky.”
You whispered a soft thank you, always feeling shy whenever he complimented you even after having been with him for so long. “Are you ready to go?” You asked, grabbing your bag off the hook and walking closer to the door, but San held his finger up, motioning for you to wait as he ran to the bedroom, quickly returning with your cardigan. “Ah… thank you, honey.”
He held it out for you as you slipped your arms in, smoothing out the fabric once it was on your body, his smile growing wider as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now we’re ready to go.” He said softly, flicking off the lights as his other hand stayed on your lower back, leading you out the door.
You wouldn’t say that San was controlling, you were allowed to do things, you were allowed to go out and hang with friends. San was just… very possessive of you. When you were out, he was constantly texting you, asking for pictures, making sure no one was getting too close to you, sometimes he’d even call you and ask you to keep the call going in the background just to hear your voice and make sure nothing was going on. It’s not that he didn’t trust you though, he just didn’t trust the world and the people that lived in it. The distrust wasn’t just targeted towards strangers or your friends though, he didn’t even trust his own groupmates, hence why there would be the “purse chair” as he called it, specifically there to keep the space between you and whatever unfortunate member would be on the opposite side of that chair, on the receiving end of Sans side eye for a majority of the night.
The event venue was packed already, people showing up fashionably early, along with the reporters whose cameras flashed repeatedly in everyone's faces. San didn’t mind at all though, he was more than happy to be seen with you on his arm, your outfits perfectly matched to make you look like the perfect couple, and as of now, it felt like you truly were.
Once the two of you made it through the front doors it was just a matter of finding the table that you’d sit at, and that wasn’t a problem considering most of the other guys had already shown up, jumping up from their chairs and waving you and San over. “You finally made it! It’s a mess out there, how was it getting through?” Wooyoung said when the two of you made it to the table, Sans hand was now gripping your own, holding it so tightly and so close to himself that he might as well have put your clasped hands in the pocket of his suit jacket.
“What do you mean finally? We’re an hour and a half early?” San teased as he looked around the table, counting the chairs and then quickly claiming three for you, himself and your bag. “It’s crazy out there though, those flashes almost blinded Y/N.” He said your name with such reverence, smiling to you as he pulled out your chair and then took your purse and placed it on the chair beside you before any of the guys could take the seat. “Speaking of… This is my wife.” He took his seat, his arm immediately draping over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as his other hand lifted the glass of water that was on the table.
“I’m glad we get to meet in a more formal setting this time.” Seunghwa said with a smirk, and you couldn’t help but be confused since this was the first time you had met him and the other guys in general. “It only took San three months of sneaking you in the dorms to finally marry you, that must be true love there.” Seunghwa raised his glass and the guys all followed suit, the seven of them wearing smiles as they looked at you and San. “Congratulations.”
It was crazy how Seunghwa, who was just trying to be a little funny, had essentially ruined your marriage, ruined your relationship, and broken your heart all at once. It didn’t take deep thought or some confusing equation for you to add things up. You knew that San and yourself had been together way longer than three months. The marriage certificate had been filled out two months ago, and you had been engaged for five months before that, and even before that, the two of you had been dating steadily for a year and a half. It wasn’t even just the math though, it was the fact that you had never even stepped foot into the dorms, and surely if you had, you wouldn’t have to be snuck in.
Sans body was tense, and you could feel him staring at you out of the corner of his eyes, awaiting your reaction. He knew he fucked up, but there were so many people around, he didn’t want to make a scene and go off on Seunghwa for dropping the bomb. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” You said, already pushing your chair back, trying your best to hold onto the calm composure that you had been carrying before you were hit with such news.
“Y/N…” San whispered, grabbing your hand and looking up at you with wide eyes that were screaming at you to stay. He knew you were pissed, he just didn’t exactly know what that would mean. You used your free hand to grab your purse, slinging it over your shoulder as you tried to pull away without making it too obvious. “Why are you taking your purse, I can watch it?”
“For lady reasons…” You whispered right back, proud of how quick your mind was able to come up with an excuse while being so frazzled. “I’ll be right back.” You said to the guys at the table, but you and San knew better, you wouldn’t be back at all. His eyes watched you as you walked away, knowing that this view would be the last he’d have of you, at least for the rest of the night.
Of course you weren’t just going to sit there beside him, pretending to be the happy wife of someone that you had just found out cheated on you. It sucked, but what made it worse was the fact that he had done it a month before you got married, and you weren’t sure how long he had been doing it before then either. San didn’t value you, he didn’t cherish you, and you were beginning to believe that he was only so possessive of you because he had a guilty conscience, and he was scared that you’d do the same thing he did.
Both your wedding and engagement ring were promptly slid off and left on the sink counter at the venue before walking out and calling yourself a cab. You needed to go home, you needed to think, not about how to fix things, but how to end things without it turning into a big argument. You wouldn’t have been able to do that at the venue, you needed to be alone with your thoughts.
How were you going to end things? It wouldn’t be easy, you knew that. He wouldn’t leave willingly, you knew the kind of person he was. He’d make all kinds of excuses, and then he’d try to soften you up, make you forget all about it. You couldn’t let that happen, you knew there was a chance, he was so charming, so manipulative, you wondered if he even knew. You needed time, time to prepare yourself for what was to come.
You started with the hardest task, packing up all of his clothes into his suitcases, and when the suitcases ran out of room, you started tossing his clothes into bags that all ended up lined up at the front door. It would be the first sight to greet him when he walks in. Award shows lasted pretty long, and there were often after parties, although you weren’t sure if San would go to this one. Maybe he would, just to grab a couple drinks before walking into the storm that was awaiting him at home.
Next to go were the pictures, pictures of you and him when you were so happy, so naive, so clueless as to what he was truly doing. He was happy too, and why would he not be? He hadn’t been caught yet, and he was probably under the assumption that he never would be. That’s the thing about cheaters, about cheating in general… It’ll only be so long before things come out, whether it’s from their own slip up, or from an unaware friend who has no idea.
The pictures in the frames were promptly trashed, replaced with the original pictures that had once been in there. Pictures of you with friends and family, surrounded by people who loved you, people who would never hurt you. The pictures would serve as a constant reminder to you that even without San there, you still had people there for you.
It didn’t change the fact that you were devastated though. You could remove his clothes from the bedroom, you could remove the pictures from the frames, but you couldn’t get rid of the memories, not this quickly. Anger had fueled you in your quest to pack up and get rid of everything that was his, but once you were done, the only thing you could do was cry. Cry over the years that you wasted, years that had you falling deeper and deeper in love with him until he slipped those two rings on your finger. You had been so excited, planning the wedding venue and looking at wedding dresses, making a list of all the people that you were going to invite. It was all for nothing though, everything that had to do with him was just a waste of time.
That’s when he came in, of course it would be. He couldn’t walk through the front door when you were emotionally stronger, no… He came back when you were weak, sobbing on the couch as you gripped onto the throw pillow. “So that’s it…? You don’t want to talk about it?” He asked, looking around at the bags on the floor, knowing damn well that his stuff was inside of them.
“What’s there to talk about?” You mumbled, turning your head to glance at him over the back of the couch. Your vision was blurry from the tears that filled your eyes, but you saw him, standing in the doorway, shoulders slumped as he watched you. “You cheated… I have nothing to say to you.”
He watched as you got up off the couch, letting you take a few steps before practically running to you, grabbing your arm and turning you around to face him. “You really want to end it like this? How do you know Seunghwa was telling the truth, huh? You really think I’d cheat on you after proposing to you? You’re too trusting… You believe anything…”
“Is that why you panicked?” You retorted, trying your best to hold your head high although you were beyond embarrassed, you were humiliated. “You knew that he was telling the truth, that’s why you got so tense. That’s how I knew it was the truth.” You weakly pushed against his chest, sobbing softly as your head shook. “As if it wasn’t bad enough to be cheated on, it had to be by you. The whole world is going to find out soon enough and…” You sniffled loudly, wiping your tears on your sleeve. “And I’m going to be the fool! Not you! So just… take your stuff and go… please.”
His arms dropped to the side, completely defeated. “I’ll go…” He muttered, backing up slowly as his own tears began to fall. There was no point in arguing with you, not right now, not when the wounds were so fresh. You were right, and you had every right to be angry with him. “I’ll take as much as I can… I’m sorry…”
Anger took hold of him as he sped through crowded streets, making his way to the dorms where the guys were most likely just now getting in. One mistake, it was in the past and that’s where he wanted to keep it, but Seunghwa just had to bring it up. What was the point of bringing it up? It was a mistake that he wanted to forget about making. He wasn’t proud of it, he hated himself for doing it, that’s why he clung to you, doted upon you, practically worshiped you. You were Sans everything, and now what? Were you truly done with him? Did you really not want anything to do with him? It was all Seunghwas fault… him and his mouth…
San stormed into the dorms, the doorknob slamming against the wall and then bouncing back, slamming shut and just further holding the attention of the other guys who sat around in the living room, still slightly drunk from the afterparty. “Yah! San, what are you doing?!” Hongjoong called out, the only one who looked even slightly sober in the group right now.
The few bags that he had been able to take with him from the apartment were dropped onto the floor as he stormed over to Seunghwa, his finger in the older man’s face, his hand shaking with his anger. “You… You did this! Why do you talk?!” San shouted, the other guys finally catching on enough to try to pull him back. “You ruined everything! I love her! I do! Why…?!” He was breathing heavily as tears streamed down his face, the guys finally able to get him as far away from Seunghwa as possible in the short moment of weakness.
“What are you talking about?” Seunghwa was genuinely, and rightfully, confused by the sudden outburst, but it was soon replaced by panic as he jumped up, his eyes going wide. “Did I embarrass her? What happened, is she okay?” His head shook as he ran his hands over his alcohol induced reddened face. “I really didn’t mean to upset her… Did something bad happen?”
Everyone in the room was now looking to San for answers, but he could only chuckle humorlessly as he pushed the guys back. “Did something… did…” He could barely get the words out as his breaths quickened once more, his nostrils flaring as anger evolved into pure rage. “I’m losing my fucking wife! She… She kicked me out because…” And as quickly as that rage had lit up inside of him, it was burnt out, guilt and regret crashing over him like waves during a storm. “It wasn’t her… I fucked up… And I wanted to… to forget… I didn’t want her to know…” His voice became a whisper as he slid down the wall, falling to the floor and curling up into himself. “I was drunk… and she was out of town… and I felt awful about it immediately… that’s… that’s why I made her leave so early. I didn’t think anyone would be awake… I don’t… I don’t even drink anymore because I’m so… I’m so scared of something like that happening again and… I love Y/N… I don’t want to lose her…”
Seunghwa fell back onto the couch, his face in his hands as heavy sighs escaped him. “It’s not my fault… How was I supposed to know?” He muttered, taking a deep breath as he lifted his head to look at San. “You didn’t tell us anything… You didn’t even tell us that you were getting married. We didn’t find out until that meeting with the manager before the show. Then… Then you have the nerve to come in here getting mad at me because… because I assumed that she was that girl… It’s not my fault that you hid your wife.” He stood up, eyes like daggers glaring at San. “And it’s not my fault that you cheated on her either.”
“I…” San started, his breath shaky as he pushed himself up off the floor. “I hid her because she was mine! I love her… I… I didn’t mean to cheat on her, it just… It happened and I know that it doesn’t make it any better but…” He sniffled softly as he leaned against the wall, his head falling back as tears streaming down his face. “But I don’t want to be without her… I…” A sharp gasp shot through his lips as he turned to go into his own room, a room that he hadn’t been in in three months, a room that he’d much rather forget even existed along with the memories that lingered beneath the sheets of his bed.
You knocked quickly on the door, a few of the bags that you were able to lug into the building by yourself on the floor beside your feet as you waited for someone to answer. It’s not like no one was home, you could hear the tv from the other side of the door… Maybe they just couldn’t hear you? So you knocked louder, your fist hurting from the force behind it. “Yah! Open the damn-” Before you could get the last word out, the door swung open, and there he was.
“Y/N…” San whispered your name, his eyes wide and already welling with tears the moment he looked at you. “You’re here…” A shaky hand ran through his hair as he took a step back, motioning for you to come inside. “I’m making ramen… If you want some. I have other food too, I always keep all your favorites… I’ve been waiting for… I… I miss you.”
God, why were you crying? He hurt you? And why should he be crying when you were the one who’s gone through three months of pain because of him? “I just came to drop off the rest of your things.” You said, avoiding eye contact, knowing that the more you looked at him, the more you’d be hurt. “I was only able to carry up a little… The rest is in my car. You can come down and get it… Or not. I don’t care. I’ve waited for you to come pick it up long enough though.”
“I didn’t want to pick it up… I thought that you’d ask me to come back at some point.” Of course he’d think that. You didn’t have time to play this game with him, and going back and forth would only cause you both more heartache. You quickly turned on your heel, if he wasn’t going to get his stuff, you’d just give it to people who need it. “W-Wait… Don’t leave… Don’t leave me…” He grabbed your elbow, yanking you back to him until you crashed against his chest. “You don’t know how hard it’s been… Without you… I feel like I could die… I hate it… I hate not being with you.”
“I… don’t know how hard it’s been?” You repeated breathlessly, scoffing as you pushed him back. “You don’t know! First I get cheated on by you and I find out about it three months later and then… I can’t even leave my own house with reporters and paparazzi shoving their stupid cameras in my face and asking why they haven’t seen us together and why I wasn’t still at the award show when you made your speech. And for some reason I care about you too much to tell them the truth… So I’m the bad one…” You watched as his face fell, his arms still outstretched as if to wrap around you. “You feel like you could die… But I wish I would. You don’t know what it’s like to constantly be attacked and not be able to say anything… I don’t know why I still protect you… Just… Get your things so I can go.”
“I’ll tell them… I’ll publically announce what I did just so they’ll leave you alone.” He grabbed your hand again, this time just holding it tightly, terrified that if he let you go once more that you’d finally leave. “Just stay with me… I want to work this out… I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care what happens with the group or anything, I don’t care what the fans think of me, or what the agency says… I made a mistake and I’ll pay for it, but I swear on everything, I’ve never made that mistake again. I don’t even drink, I don’t go out unless it’s with you.”
He kept pulling you closer, and you were tired of trying to pull away, it’s not like it would do any good, he’d just keep pulling you back, and as much as you tried to ignore the feelings, you missed him, you missed his touch, his hugs, his kisses. You missed everything about him. “Why do they hate me so much… They don’t know me… They don’t know what I’m going through. They don’t know what you did to me…” You allowed yourself to fall once again against his chest, and this time he pulled you further into the dorms, shutting the door behind you and moved you to the couch.
“They hate you because they’re not you.” He responded matter of factly, brushing his hand over your hair as he pulled you down onto the couch beside him. “They’ll know what I’ve done, and they’ll know how lucky I am to have a wonderful woman that sticks beside me, even though I’m an idiot… I know I don’t deserve you… But I don’t want to live without you either.”
“Yah…” You muttered, sniffling softly and pulling back to look at him. “Wh-Who said I was still your wife? You’re an idiot… Choi San… And I don’t marry idiots…” You mumbled, turning your back to him to stare out the window.
You felt the couch vibrate with his silent laughter, his arms snaking around your waist as his chin rested on your shoulder. “Well… Maybe you can give this idiot a chance… Just one? Just one chance to prove that he’s madly in love with you, and would do anything to keep you… Please.” His lips pressed against your neck, and you swore it felt like electricity coursing through your veins.
“Such an idiot…” You grumbled, although you felt yourself instinctively leaning back against him until you were leaning once more against his chest, his arms still tightly surrounding you, and truthfully, in his arms was the only place you ever wanted to be.
“Ah… but you’re also madly in love with this idiot… so let me help you out here.” His tone was lighter now, and you could still feel his body shaking with his laughter as he fumbled in his pockets. “My beautiful wife, your hand looked so empty without your rings… How could you possibly forget them in the restroom?” He teased, grabbing your hand and quickly slipping the band back onto your ring finger. “Much better… Right?”
You turned your head to stick your tongue out at him, but his lips quickly crashed against yours and you hated how much you realized you needed him at that moment, how happy you were to finally have him back. You trusted him though, and as much as he had hurt you and humiliated you, you loved him. “Mm…” You hummed once he finally pulled back, holding your hand up to look at the rings that were finally back in their rightful spot. “Let’s go home… We have a lot of unpacking to do.”