Tolerance is the Game Changer
Finishing out this chapter is the most basic emotional wellness technique: accepting others. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Meeting new friends can be a challenge. Strangers being mean because of perceived skill makes it extremely difficult to make friends in video games.
Online games with others allow people who may struggle with social interactions to make friends. Communication trouble start when we make up our mind about a topic and are unwilling to listen to others. If you accept others have different experiences that dictate their belief system, it will make you a terrific teammate.
Treating others, the way you want to be treated is something everyone can agree on. Try to put yourself in that player’s shoes. Would you want a whole team that doesn’t talk to you—even worse a team that insults you? I remember really struggling with a dungeon run in Guild Wars 2. I had become a high enough level to try a certain dungeon. I wasn’t an avid fan of the game that did research of difficulty or what loot would be dropped; I knew it would be fun because I would have a friend.
My friend and I needed more people to join our group because of how difficult the area was. There were strangers who joined us who then tried to get me kicked from the group. Saying things like, “No noobs. Under-leveled gear. I am not carrying that waste.” I felt hurt. We had opened our party to these people only for them to insult me. I told them their words were hurtful and before I could continue they said, “Too bad. Leave the group. You aren’t wanted here.” I asked my friend who was head of the party to remove them. It may just be a game, but things like that shouldn’t be said in community-based games.
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I understand that people don’t want to play with inexperienced players. This is your downtime that is meant to be enjoyed, not turn you into a teacher for the game. However, telling other players they aren’t wanted and assuming control is more likely to backfire for you than go well.
The things your type of other people in the game are seen by that other player until they mute or kick you. You could leave a group if you are dissatisfied. There is no reason to continue your suffering by playing that game. Every avid gamer has more than one game to play so they won’t get upset.
That quote is one of the best I have received from my education courses. Teachers can entertain an idea from a student without accepting it to allow creativity in the classroom. I believe many people would have a better experience if they could entertain an idea without accepting it. Completely listen to someone’s side without shutting them down. Even if you don’t accept it, let them express their opinion completely before rebuking it. Even after someone has expressed their opinion in game, you can still ignore them and never have to listen to their opinion again.