Let Me In
Relationship(s): Xaden Riorson/Reader
Summary: Xaden climbs through your window one late night, showing an astounding lack of self-preservation in the face of the freezing wind and your parents’ guards.
Warnings: Swearing, secret/forbidden relationship, allusions to reader having abusive parents. Established relationship, set pre-canon.
Written for @empyreanevents's Tyrrendor Week Day 7 and inspired by the Faun song "Diese Kalte Nacht" (which translates to "This Cold Night").
AO3
The wind was howling outside, so loud it drowned out the sound of pebbles hitting your window almost entirely. But there — another plink. So you hadn’t imagined it.
Frowning, you flung back the covers and sat up in bed. There was only one person you could think of who might want to see you at this late hour, but surely, he wouldn’t be so reckless as to sneak onto your parents’ estate… would he?
The stone floor of your room felt cold even through the thick rug that covered it as you padded to the window on bare feet. Though true winter had gone and taken all the snow with it, the temperatures had dropped to freezing once more these last few days, icy winds rattling the roofs and uprooting trees as if in a last rageful act of defiance against spring. It definitely wasn’t the kind of weather that invited one to go on an midnight excursion and throw pebbles at windows.
And yet, as you pulled aside the drapes, there he stood beneath your window — Xaden Riorson. It took only a glance to recognize him in the brightness of the moon, which peeked out between the clouds to gild his features with its silvery light.
Your heart stumbled, then resumed to beat at twice its regular pace. Part of you worried something terrible must have happened, because surely Xaden wouldn’t risk coming here without good reason. The rest of you knew better. His demeanor was far too relaxed for anything to be amiss — looking at him, you might’ve thought he was leisurely waiting for you in the market square as he did so often when you snuck out for dates, instead of breaking and entering your home at great peril.
You let yourself indulge in the sight of him for all of a second before worried frustration took over. He was bundled up in a heavy coat, but wore neither hat, nor scarf, nor even just a hood — nothing to keep him warm, nothing to hide his identity. That godsdamned, beautiful fool. If you could see him clearly enough to recognize him, then anyone else who happened to look out a window on this side of the building would be able to, as well. It was late, but that was no guarantee that your family and their staff were all asleep.
What in Amari’s name was he thinking?!
You threw open the window as quietly as you could in your rising panic. The cold wind raised goosebumps all over your body, curtains billowing like they were trying to wrestle you away from the window. You impatiently slapped them aside.
Xaden’s face lit up with a smile as he caught sight of you.
The ease with which you could make him smile, often with your mere presence, was something you were incredibly proud of, knowing there were very few people alive whom he allowed to see past the emotional walls he’d built. Even under the current circumstances, giddiness bubbled in your chest. You squashed it before it could bring an answering smile to your lips. This was not the time to act like a lovesick fool — not when Xaden was already acting foolish enough for both of you. Did he not realize what danger he was exposing himself to, or did he simply not care?
“What are you doing here?” you hissed into the darkness.
Xaden’s reply came accompanied by a lazy shrug. “Visiting you.”
Your indignation grew. He said it like it was not only obvious, but also the most natural thing in the world.
“Visiting me? Are you out of your godsdamned mind?! If my father sees you, he’ll fucking kill you!”
To your eternal frustration, your parents were so loyal to the King it bordered on fanaticism. You were strictly forbidden from interacting with the marked ones — the traitors’ children, as your parents preferred to call them — which was precisely what had driven you to seek out the pair of them fostered not far from your home, and befriend them. Never in a thousand years could you have guessed you would end up falling in love with one of them, and not just any of them, but the Great Betrayer’s son himself.
Xaden was entirely unlike what you’d been led to believe — neither hateful nor arrogant, and certainly not plotting the kingdom’s downfall like many in your parents’ social circle believed. He was smart, strong, handsome, and accordingly confident. Though he got morose and moody at times, he bore the scorn aimed at him because of his father’s failed rebellion with admirable dignity, never faltering under the burden of his responsibility for the other marked ones. His trust and affection were reserved for a select few, but those, he was fiercely protective of.
In the span of a few short months, you came to adore him more than life itself, though right now, you were sorely tempted to hurl your pillow at his smirking face as he said, “He’d have to catch me first.”
In a fair chase, Xaden would indeed stand a good chance of getting away. Unfortunately, the chase would most definitely not be fair, if an alarm were sounded about his intrusion.
“No, he doesn’t,” you retorted, already shivering in your sleepwear. You should’ve wrapped yourself in the comforter instead of leaving it on the bed. “He has guards to do that for him.”
Xaden waved your concern away, and you noted with relief that he’d at least had the sense to wear gloves. Still, you could see from here that he, too, was cold.
Guilt gnawed at you for keeping him standing out in the courtyard, entirely exposed to the bite of the wind, but encouraging him to come inside would have been madness. The doors were guarded, and while your window wasn’t situated particularly high above the ground, everything from the facade’s rough stone to the windowsill was slippery with frost, making it a difficult climb even for someone as athletic as Xaden, during which any sound he made would mean potential discovery. It was simply too great a risk.
“Damnit, Xaden, you have to leave! You know you can’t be here, and it’s too damn cold to stand there and argue with me. You’ll freeze.”
“If you’re so worried about that, maybe you should let me in.”
“No! Are even listening? Bad enough if you’re spotted outside, but if my parents catch you trying to get into my room they’ll have you executed for sure, and nothing I could say or do would stop them!”
Xaden scoffed, as if the risk of death were nothing more than a minor annoyance. “The only way I’ll get caught is if you keep shouting at me from the window.”
Cocky asshole. You almost wanted to slam the window shut on him, but knowing how obstinate he could be, that was likely to make matters worse: instead of leaving like a sensible person, he would just keep on standing there until he either froze into an ice sculpture, was caught and forcibly removed from the premise, or you caved and let him in.
After a few more seconds of contemplation, you did just that. Letting him inside was a risk, but continuing to argue with him would be an even greater one, he was right about that.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, fine! Get your stubborn ass in here before I change my mind.”
Xaden didn’t need to be told twice. Relief flashing over his face, he dashed forward, and you had to lean farther out to keep sight of him. Your heart pounded with fear as you watched him begin to climb. The hand- and footholds he found in the decorative stonework couldn’t be very secure. If he slipped, fell and hurt himself—
No, you couldn’t let yourself imagine it. Xaden would manage.
Stepping back from the window so he would have the space to pull himself inside when he reached it, you waited with bated breath for his head to appear in the opening. Seconds passed, feeling like hours. You didn’t hear a sound from Xaden, no matter how you strained your ears — the wind was too loud, or he too stealthy. On the bright side, that meant nobody else would hear him, either, but the silence unnerved you, as it left you no way to track his progress, no proof that he was still there. Would you even hear if he fell?
On the verge of worrying yourself into a panic attack, you jumped when a gloved hand gripped the window frame. The rest of Xaden followed. Thank gods.
Twisting through the opening and dropping to the floor was a matter of seconds, the quiet scrape of his boots on the stone floor the only sound he made during the whole process, and you had to admit to yourself that he hadn’t been exaggerating when he insisted he wouldn’t get caught through any fault of his own. Equally silently, he closed the window behind him, shutting out the cold and muffling the sound of the raging wind.
Then, he stood in front of you, murmuring a quiet, “Hi, love.”
“Don’t you hi love me,” you snapped in a whisper, heart still racing as you pointed your finger in his face. “I’m mad at you.”
“For wanting to see you?”
“For putting your life at stake to do so!”
Xaden only looked at you — not apologetic in the slightest, but with so much love in his eyes you couldn’t help but mellow. Pushing back his windblown hair, you kissed his forehead. His skin was icy.
“Let’s get you warmed up,” you softly commanded. Everything else was secondary.
Already peeling off his gloves, Xaden nodded. “Yeah. Get back in bed,” he said, pecking your lips. “I’ll join you in a second.”
You shook your head, reaching instead to unbutton his coat. After so long in the cold, his fingers would be so stiff it’d make it difficult to do it himself. “I’m not the one who went strolling through a windstorm.”
“No, but you’re the one only wearing pajamas. You’re barefoot, for fucks sake.”
He had you there. When you rose, you hadn’t dressed for spending minutes at the open window, an oversight you were now feeling the consequences of, though you tried your best not to let it show.
Xaden was frowning down at your feet like he was about to reverse the roles and scold you. Before he could start, you said, “Then you better cooperate, so we can both be warm and cozy as soon as possible.”
“Fine.” He stuffed his gloves into the coat’s pocket. As you finished unbuttoning the garment and reached up to push it down his shoulders, he caught your wrists and pressed a kiss to each hand. “Thanks.”
He had a natural talent for making it impossible to stay mad at him, you mused, draping his coat over the nearby desk chair before squatting to unlace his boots. You guided his feet out of them and to the floor, relieved to find them considerably warmer than your own, and neatly set the boots side by side below the window. Xaden pulled you upright with a kiss to the top of your head. Lacing hands, you quickly led him to the bed — on the cold floor, his feet wouldn’t stay warm for long, even if he was wearing thick socks.
You made a mental note to check for dirt and footprints around the window in the morning. Nobody would be able to guess the identity of your nightly visitor based on that alone, but the fact that he’d evidently snuck through the window would tell them enough to get you in serious trouble. Your parents didn’t care how or where you spent your free time; all that mattered to them was that you were home when they wanted you to be, stayed out of their way when they didn’t want you there, and never ever talked back or questioned their opinions. If you gave them reason to suspect you of keeping company they wouldn’t approve of, you could wave your freedom goodbye.
For now, you were safe enough, though. While you didn’t have a key to lock your room’s door with, nothing short of a fire would bring any of the estate’s other occupants to your chambers in the middle of the night, so long as you kept quiet.
Reaching the bed, you pushed Xaden to lie down first, grabbed the comforter, threw it around your shoulders like a cape, and settled on top of him. It took some squirming to make sure the comforter actually covered both of you from neck to toes, but a minute of shared effort later, you were comfortably snuggled up and already starting to feel warmer.
“Good?” you whispered.
“Perfect,” Xaden whispered back, kissing your cheek, then the other, and finally, your mouth.
For a while, you silently basked in each other’s presence, no sounds to be heard but the wind outside and your quiet breaths. Xaden’s toned body was soft and pliant beneath you, eyelids drooping as you played with his hair.
“You have to admit that coming here was a great idea,” he mumbled eventually.
“If we ignore the risk involved in sneaking onto the property, yes. Though I wish you’d picked a warmer night.”
“Ah, but then you wouldn’t have had any reason to act as my heated blanket.”
You huffed a laugh. You didn’t need the excuse of being cold to seek physical contact, and you both knew it.
After a moment, you asked, “Won’t you be in trouble with Duke Lindell if he notices you snuck out?”
Xaden shook his head. “Liam will cover for me if need be.”
“Xaden!” you scolded. “Don’t drag the poor guy into your escapades!”
“Relax. No one will notice I was ever here; not Lindell or Lewellen, and not your parents either. I’ll be gone before sunrise, I promise.”
“Alright.” You sighed. “I’m sorry we have to sneak around like this.”
It was an apology you’d made many times before, and as always, Xaden shook his head at it. “It’s not your fault your parents hate me.”
“It’s not your fault, either. I wish they weren’t so… so bigoted. You deserve better.”
Better than someone who could only meet him in secret, who let him stand out in the cold after he came all this way in such horrible weather, who didn’t dare say a word in his defense when his name was dragged through the dirt at social functions because the consequences of speaking up would be too dire.
“Nothing could be better than being here with you,” Xaden insisted, arms tightening around you. “And if I have to face a bit of wind and sneak past your parent’s guards to get that, then it only makes the reward even sweeter. They won’t control your life forever. One day, we’ll be able to see each other whenever we want, and until then, I’ll just keep climbing through your window. I don’t mind.”
“You’re such a sap,” you huffed, but it was exactly what you’d needed to hear.
“Maybe, but I’m your sap.”
“Mhh. Yes, you are.”
