"You think I'm gonna lose your blood data? I got a filing cabinet."

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"You think I'm gonna lose your blood data? I got a filing cabinet."
What would happen if giant balls hit every YouTube commenter before they could strike? Find out in Internet Commenters Suck Balls: a SKETCH by UCB's SCRAPS.
UCB's Sketchy Advice: Angel Yau
Sketchy Advice: A comedy writing column from UCB Comedy. Established sketch writers from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre offer sketch students advice on being creative, the writing process, and adding to a writer’s room. This week’s featured writer is Angel Yau, a NYC based solo sketch comedian, storyteller and filmmaker. She currently writes for UCB Comedy’s Beta team SCRAPS.
See more of Angel by watching SCRAPS on YouTube, checking out her Twitter (@angelyau), going to her website (www.angelyau.com), watching videos on her personal YouTube channel, or reserving tickets to VHS Presents, a storytelling show Angel hosts where comedians show embarrassing videos from their past. Catch it every 2nd Thursday of the month at the Tank theater!
My advice is coming from a lazy, anti-social, insecure, worrisome and quiet person.
I don’t see myself as a natural performer. I get so tongue-tied even making simple conversation with someone. My natural instinct is to hide when I see someone I know, even a friend! I’m just so afraid I will say the wrong thing... or worse not have anything to say at all.
I'm aware that all of these traits might prohibit me from becoming a sketch comedian, but I love performing. I love being the center of attention and surprising people. I love making people like me through my jokes, so I know I have to work extra hard.
Voice Command App VS. Shy Asian Girl: a SKETCH by UCB's SCRAPS
First of all, remember what your original life goal was. Was it to be a writer on an Upright Citizens Brigade Theater Maude Team… or was it to make people laugh and make the world a better place?
I dig through my past a lot. I love seeing who I was and how I am not that any more. Or perhaps, still am but in a different shell. We’re often embarrassed by our past, use that. Laugh at yourself. The first person to write jokes about you should be yourself.
Another inspiration that people usually stay away is jealousy. I’m almost 30 and I see more and more of my acquaintances on my television screen. At first, I’m like, why didn’t I become closer friends with them… then it’s the how did they do that’s? And the why not me’s? I do tend to use that rage to motivate me. But be nice! Be nice to each other. That’s important.
I stare at my computer all day. Go out, do something? I'd rather watch Internet videos and read lists. I use whatever is around me. People will relate. Plus, you have a big imagination. Make it your own. Whenever you do go outside, look up. Be aware of your surroundings, be observant. The conversations you hear, the interactions you see, even your own thoughts are all good sources.
Leaving The House: a SKETCH by UCB's SCRAPS
Whenever I go to Maude Night, there are often times I go, “Oh I thought this sketch was gonna go somewhere completely different…but it’s about bananas farting instead!” I then take what I thought the sketch was going to be, (bananas making clay figurines) and have that inspire me. When I was a teenage and wanted to be a singer/rockstar (no music skills what so ever), I would listen to just the very beginning of a song and then press pause and then make up the rest of the song in my head. It’s a good kick start... off of someone else’s work.
Speaking of going to shows… a lot of advice is about seeing shows. “Well, if I’m not performing in a show, why am I going to one? I have to leave my comfortable home, take a long subway ride to the theater, and at11pm… that is late! People know I live far right? I have important things to do in the morning! Why should I go?” If that is how you feel, either move to a more central location or see the shows you want to be on. Also book more shows. Even if you feel like you have nothing, if you have a show coming up, you’re going to think of something… you will find anything and everything inspiring. Can I write a sketch about my toes? Sure you can!
Banned Diversity PSA (NSFW): a PARODY by UCB's SCRAPS
And speaking of that… one of my biggest flaw is doing things last minute. There is some sort of rush doing things at the eleventh hour. It’s like you’re on Project Runway crafting a beautiful evening gown out of hay, not sure if it’s going to work but kind of proud you came up with it on the spot. I do things last minute, however, I plant an idea in my brain for a while. Things come to you when you are not thinking about it directly.
I would think about it in the shower. Hot showers are the best. (I usually imagine myself getting interview by a Late Night Talk Show host about my next TV show… ONE DAY!) I would think about it on my commute. Instead of playing that default bored cell phone game, use a notebook app (I recommend “Keep”) and jot down those ideas. Always jot down any thoughts you find remotely interesting. Which brings to my next piece of advice.
Talk to yourself. I am definitely not a social being. I think to myself way more than I talk to my significant other. I have a constant inner monologue going on. I’m not scared to be alone and listen to my own thoughts. Listen to yourself, you’re more interesting than you think you are.
Remember that not everything is final… Even with this article, I know the moment that this is up, I will see something I hate that I wrote or many things I wish I had said. It’s okay. I can write more on my own blog.
Deleted Shots Movie Commentary
I know what my weaknesses are and I always constantly try to improve myself. Bottom line is learn and know who you are, know how to work with yourself. Embrace your awkwardness!
UCB Comedy Round Up ft. SCRAPS
Angel's Wednesday Night Live!
Angel Yau is a NYC based solo sketch comedian, storyteller and filmmaker. She started her comedy career unintentionally when she ran for her high school election. (There was a song involved that rhymes with her last name.) Her performances were apart of the Seattle Sketchfest, NYC Underground Comedy Festival, Philly Sketchfest, North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival and Calgary's Funnyfest which makes her an international performer. She currently jokes around NYC and LA. She is on the UCB Beta Team, SCRAPS. She is still a very shy girl who will awkwardly ask if you can let her use your laptop charger because her laptop constantly is out of battery.
"What would happen if you went out with that guy?" A SKETCH by UCB’s SCRAPS
When it comes to dating, this girl is her own worst nightmare.
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