You're not the favourite!
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Hazbin Hotel x Reader
●○ You've been missing for some time now. Over two weeks. You're not one to just vanish into thin air, so your suitors are starting to get a little worried.
A oneshot based on this tumblr post by @a-small-lemon! I saw it and immediately started writing this lol The Reader character isn't really in this, but they are the main focus!
[Masterlist] [AO3]
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Alastor slips through the shadows of V Tower at a pace he'll deny is ever frantic. Every crack and hidden corner is checked and double checked, not a single desk left unturned in his hunt. He methodically makes his through the tower, peering into every single room available before coming to a halt at Vox's office.
You still weren't anywhere to be found. Not at the hotel, not near any of your usual haunts, not in any of his or Rosie's territory, and not a strand of hair could be found in any of the popular locations in Hell. V Tower was the last relevant place you could possibly be in, so if you weren't in this infuriating walking picture box's office, he might just dismantle Vox and destroy everything on the lower floors. Maybe seeing the tower crumble will finally bring you out of whatever hole you managed to crawl into.
Slipping past the door, Alastor is greeted to the sight of Vox himself sitting at his desk, surrounded by televisions of various sizes and a large aquatic tank to the left of the room. The entire thing is just as excessive as the demon the room belonged to, but that's not what got his irritation to spike and the burning hole in his gut to expand.
You weren't here either.
What little shadows there were in the area start pooling towards the centre of the room. The action doesn't go unnoticed by Vox, who turns in his chair upon noticing the smallest movement.
"What the fu— WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"
Sparks fly off of Vox as he watches the shadows stretch to forming the shape of Alastor and recedes into the back of his coat. He ignores the snarl that passes the deer's teeth, getting up from his chair and stomping down the stairs.
"Get the fuck out of my building no one invited your lonely ass here!"
"I'm going to give you ten seconds to tell me where my dearest is." The vitriol in Alastor's voice isn't what makes Vox pause, that's basically the only way they communicate, it was the static. His words were nearly drowned out with the haze and Vox can't remember a time something got the radio demon this worked up to the point he lost control over it.
Vox still scoffs in his face, "What? You don't know where they are? They live under your roof, what makes you think I had anything to do with it?"
Despite the cool exterior he's trying desperately to keep up, Vox is panicking internally. How does Alastor not know where you are? Haven't you been at the hotel for the past two weeks? He never saw you walk out of the building, and Val is still coming to him complaining about how much Angel talks about you off shift. Surely you're still there… You have to be.
Alastor tilts his head to the side with a crack, "You're the only one who would dare take them without my prior knowledge. So unless you're saying you also don't know where they are—"
"Of course I know where they are!" Vox interrupts, irritated at the thought of Alastor doubting any of his capabilities, "They're…"
His screen suddenly flashes red, the facial recognition scan he was running in the background coming up empty. Not a single sighting of your face has been spotted in the last 24 hours.
Alastor's smile widens, his eyes turning from red to black, "Oh, are they not showing up on your cameras old pal?"
Vox's screen glitches slightly at his jeering, "Just a minor setback, give me a second."
He went and checked every camera in the last 48 hours. Nothing. The last 72? Nothing. The entire week?? Nothing.
At some point he switched from using his internal system to the supercomputer that is his desktop and checked everything again. He didn't think anything was wrong with his own— he's perfect in everyway, but his own increasingly sporadic thoughts could possibly be getting in the way. Still, no sightings of you could be found.
Now Vox was a hair's length away from having a breakdown. Still, he'd keep it together as long as the Radio Demon was in the room with him.
As a last ditch effort he just searched for the last time you've ever appeared in any of his cameras, and all he got was the day you walked into the hotel two weeks ago— the footage being caught by one of his drones.
"This can't be right." Vox repeats the check again, and again, and again, each one coming back with the exact same results and getting him more agitated by the second. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY!?"
Alastor hums, the static he's been emitting crackling in the air, "Ah, so you're useless at the one thing you could ever possibly be good for."
"You're the one who lost them living under the same roof!" Vox snaps, his pride taking a hit as well as the dread of not knowing where you are settling into his psyche. "I can at least do something about it. You can go back to your little hotel, sit and be pretty while I figure out where they are and save them from your incompetence."
The only thing to convey Alastor's annoyance is a pop in his static before it simmers out. His grin is quick to turn from irritated to sly as an idea springs to his mind.
"Won't you need their computer for that?"
Vox quirks his brow, not impressed in the change of tune, "Wow, look at you. When'd you become an expert of modern technology."
"I only say since there's no way you'd be able to access it without my help."
The effect Alastor was looking for was immediate, with Vox sputtering at his absolutely absurd claim and taking the bait.
"What the fuck are you talking about I own every computer in Hell!"
"Nope, not theirs! It doesn't run on your system, I made sure of it before allowing them to keep the thing. You'll be needing a more… Hands on approach."
Vox huffs, staring at the deer from head to toe to try and see if he could find what Alastor's goal is, but unable to see anything unusual for his standards.
"So what? You're gonna bring it here?"
"Oh, my goodness no! You really think I'd trust you with their device in your building? HA!" Vox's face falls flat, and Alastor goes to pinch the corner of his screen, "No, no, no, I merely suggest I bring you to it and you use it within the hotel under my strict supervision."
Vox tries to shock him, but Alastor pulls away too soon for him to do anything.
He was very confident he could find you on his own, but now that he thinks about it, he's never seen you with any Voxtek devices— not outside of the ones he's gifted you before Alastor threw them away. He knows you have a laptop, but he has no record of purchase under your name for anything of the sort. On the off chance Alastor actually is being truthful, he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to at least see what you're working with for himself.
"Fine. Whatever. As long as I'm not seen by anyone else."
"No need to worry!" Alastor cheerfully takes an electric watch out of his pocket he stole from one of the lower floors, "I don't want to be seen with you either!"
Vox rolls his eyes and flips the bird at Alastor before zapping himself into the watch. Alastor shoves the thing deep back into his pocket before letting the shadows consume him again and melting into the floor.
It's not long before he reaches his destination, your room, and quickly chucks the watch onto the floor as far away from himself as possible. As soon as it hits the floor, Vox is quick to zap himself out of it, dusting himself off and grumbling all the while.
He takes a moment to look around the room, since this is the first time he's actually gotten to see it. Unfortunately for him, with Alastor standing at his back he can't dedicate much time to checking every inch of your life in here, so he can really only take stock of the large items in the room— like the massive duck toy on your bed. Not that he wants to put off finding you for much longer either. He'll have to settle for recording what he could of it and watching it back later.
Vox clears his throat, his eyes now darting around in search of said computer he supposedly can't connect to from the tower. "So where is the—"
His eyes land on a heap of parts with a screen that instantly makes him recoil. The chassis is dented in multiple spots and what he thinks is supposed to be the keyboard is deformed, not a single key the same height or width as the one next to it but filed down to best try and match, the charger's been glued into the charging port, and the screen is held to the bottom with tape and a dream.
"What the fuck is this?" The words fall from his mouth before he can even think. He can't believe what he's looking at. You've been using THIS? You've known each other for how long now and he's not shy of telling you he'd get you whatever your heart desires, he's rich and perfect like that, so why the FUCK have you been using this thing?? Did you not think he'd get you a new one? He would've gotten you the latest brand— Hell, he would've made a completely unique one himself if it meant you'd never use this scrap heap ever again.
Alastor watches Vox's internal meltdown from the sidelines, his grin growing with each glitch and spark that flies off of the mechanical sinner, "Why it's their computer. For a walking electronic such as yourself it is quite embarrassing that I'm the one that has to—"
"Oh shut the fuck up I know what a laptop is!" Vox snaps at Alastor, still not able to take his eyes away from the wretched machine you apparently call your laptop, "I want to know why it looks like it's been through an extermination, or got dragged through one of Val's orgies, just— no sane person would think this is fine! How could they possibly be using this garbage!?"
"I don't know if you noticed, but your little gimmicks are not allowed in this hotel. You included." Alastor's eyes turn into radio dials, but it only serves to make Vox click his teeth.
"Whatever! You wanna let them suffer with this be my guest." The laptop is atrocious, but it provided him a perfect excuse to invite them to the tower and see a real setup away from the deer's prying eyes, "Where the fuck did they even get this from anyway? I'm literally the only person that sells laptops."
"I'm fairly confident they made this themself around their initial arrival down here. Imagine, even a newcomer could tell right away your technology was not to be trusted!"
"Or maybe they just couldn't afford the good shit so they had to settle. We don't do handouts, and this is clearly a cry for help." Vox grumbles. Another reason to hate not knowing you as soon as you fell down here. From what he could figure out, laptops could hardly be called widespread by the time you died, so creating this off scraps alone is an achievement. Let alone doing it before he fully took over the whole market.
Vox turns your laptop on with little fanfare, choosing to stand by the desk instead of sitting in your chair— it being way to small for him. To his surprise, it doesn't take long for it to boot up and show the password screen.
He was expecting the password, but he was also expecting to see a real computer. With this he's already reached a wall in his search for you.
"This would be easier if this thing was Voxtek branded." Vox muttered under his breath, not really for Alastor to hear and just to vent a little frustration, but of course the deer heard anyway.
"If you can't do anything than why are you even here?" Alastor's ears lower slightly, his voice filled with condescension that got under Vox's skin.
"I said it'd be easier not that I couldn't do it! Has your hearing diminished in your time away or is this just your old age showing?"
"You're the one who's yet to do anything other than complain."
Vox's screen flickers with irritation. As much as he wants to tear off this red shitstain's antlers and shove them in his eye sockets, but starting a confrontation with him could possibly break the laptop and make them lose the one possible lead they have.
"Let's just start with the password hint. It might be easy." His words come out garbled, already at his wits end from being in the same room as Alastor for longer than ten minutes.
Said sinner now walking over to stand on the other side of your desk to better make sure Vox isn't messing with your devices in ways he shouldn't. When the hint pops onto the screen both of them bend a little closer to read it.
[ Who's company do you enjoy the most? ]
"Hmm. Must be a simple password." Alastor hums while Vox's eyes narrow, trying to remember all the people in your life this could possibly be talking about.
"They spend the most time with me— ugh, you, the Morningstars', and Angel Dust. No other relationships are worth considering for this."
"It's likely just a name then. I highly doubt they'd know exact dates relating to anything noteworthy for any of us." Alastor straightens up, next words coming out in a purr, "If that's the case, at least we know the answer is surely me."
Vox's whole body violently twitches, Alastor having to sidestep to avoid getting hit by a flying bolt. When Vox turns to him, his mouth has turned to static and his left eye has started swirling, "What the fuck are you talking about, they only entertain you because you get into everyone's business and scare everyone away!"
The air surrounding the Radio Demon only turns more confident, the playful aura and smugness radiating off of him in waves. "No I don't think so! Our last dinner together would've been quite awkward if that were the case."
Vox's twitching only gets worse, something Alastor find nothing but joy in, but he unfortunately needs him to function to be able to find you.
"If you're so positive I'm wrong then why don't you see for yourself?"
Alastor points at the computer with his staff, diverting Vox's attention back to the problem at hand. His face settles back into his default as he comes back to his senses.
He hesitates for a moment, but ultimately goes to type Alastor's name in— his need to see you outweighing his need to crash if it ended up being correct.
[ The password is incorrect. Try again. ]
"What?"
Vox bursts into a fit of laughter, relief washing over him like a charged blanket. He only grows louder when he notices how loud the static in the room has become.
"Oh this is glorious!" Vox wipes a tear from his eye and typing in his name, holding it for a bit to rub it in Alastor's face, "Shock.wav is going to hear all about this when I get back, so are the Vees. I won't shut up for months that I have something over—"
[ The password is incorrect. Try again. ]
"WHAT!?"
Vox's joy is instantly cut off by the computer denying his name. Though, he's quick to type in his real name just in case you used that instead, "Okay. Maybe they just—"
[ The password is incorrect. Try again. ]
Vox falls to his knees and slumps over the desk.
"So it's neither of us." The little joy Alastor feels over knowing your favourite person at least isn't Vox if it's not him feels hollow, knowing it's still not himself.
Vox jumps back to his feet, now pacing angrily around the room, "Well who the hell else could it be!? If it ends up being Angel Dust I swear I'll—"
Vox's oncoming rant is cut off as the two overlord's whip their heads in the direction of the door— the handle jingling faintly from being pushed open.
Lucifer strolls inside your room without a care in the world, whistling and twirling his cane all the while. He doesn't get five steps in before he notices he's not alone. His whistling comes to an abrupt end as his eyes snap to the duo still standing near your laptop. Lucifer's gaze flicks between it and them— both of them growing increasingly irritated the longer the king stands there in silence.
Lucifer's face suddenly scrunches up in disgust as he waves his cane around in their general direction, "What the heck are you two doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing." Alastor sneers, his smile twitching at it's edge with every word he has to grace his majesty with, "I thought you were above entering a tenants room without their knowledge. Charlie would be so disappointed."
The king turns worried for a second before becoming irritated again, "Real charming coming from the guy who shouldn't be in here at all! Now you better tell me why you're in here before I remove you both myself."
Vox chuckles, not intimidated by the king's threats in the slightest, "Like you could do anything to either of us."
With a snap of his fingers, Lucifer summons a portal at their feet, the other side showing nothing but a pitch black pit. His voice deepens as his next words come out void of all emotion.
"I can do anything as long as it's not meant to hurt you. Do not be fooled by my limitations you walking billboard."
Vox normally would be confident enough to test Lucifer's patience further, Alastor sure was gearing up for it, but he really didn't want to lose access to your computer right now. So with a heavy heart and his withering pride, tells the king what he wants to hear.
"We don't know where sweetheart is."
Alastor swivels his head to stare at Vox while Lucifer instantly belts out a laugh, turning from suspicious to smug in an instant.
"Aawwww. Did my darling friend not tell you two lowly sinners they were going out?" Lucifer speaks in a baby voice, making Alastor growl and Vox roll his eyes.
"Do you know where they are or not?"
Lucifer shrugs and walks over to the bed to pick up the duck plush sitting on it. "Nope! Not a single clue, they didn't want anyone jumping in— something about a surprise— wait why am I telling you!" He shouts suddenly points the duck in their direction, nearly hitting both Vox and Alastor in the face in the process, "And why are you hovering around their computer thingy? They told everyone not to touch it."
Alastor's eyes narrow, looking for any angle to gain the upper hand in the conversation again, "Petty thievery doesn't suit you."
Lucifer's smile widens again, the smug aura from before coming back full force, "I'm not stealing anything! I'm allowed to come in whenever and take this duck. It's part of a game we have, probably something neither of you would understand."
Static emits from both the media overlords in their frustration, but Lucifer moves on without a care for either of their demeanor.
"Aaanyway, don't think you've made me forget about the computer. You haven't touched it have you? Not that I'd be surprised from the likes of you, but you think you'd at least be respectful to the people you hold close."
Vox collects himself and clasps his hands together, trying for a smile to show confidence and not his anger, "Well, since they didn't tell us they were leaving, than the rules must not apply to us."
Alastor's ears fall slightly as he looks away, "I'm sure for you it's a general rule of thumb."
"Do you want to get into this or not!?"
Lucifer gasps and glares between the two overlords, "So you are snooping around!"
"What gave that away your majesty?"
Vox's snide reply is enough to further enrage Lucifer, but before Lucifer can respond, Alastor jumps back in, "You out of everyone should know it's dangerous down here. For dearest to run off without telling anyone their location is quite worrying. What if something happened to them? How would we ever know?"
Vox catching on to what Alastor was doing is quick to add on, "Unless, you don't really care about them?"
Lucifer growls, "Of course I do! So, uh, where are they?"
Alastor waves his arm towards the computer, "That's what we're trying to figure out. We need to get into their device first."
Lucifer doesn't waste any time after that walking by Vox to sit in the chair by the desk. Vox and Alastor share a look before directing their attention back to the computer.
"Who's company do you enjoy the most…" Lucifer mumbles out the text on the screen, making both of the overlords just as irritated as before.
"We've already tried our names…" Vox grumbles, still offended and shocked neither of his names worked.
Lucifer lights up, his previous annoyance forgotten hearing both the TV head and bellhop weren't at the top of your list, "Have you tried mine?"
The static in the room crackles as Alastor laughs at his suggestion, "As if the answer would ever be—"
The sound of squeaking throws him out of his train of thought. Glancing towards the source of the noise, he's greeted with the plush duck that Lucifer had grabbed— now sat in the king's lap. The angel's grin widens when he notices Alastor looking at the large plush, squeezing it again to emit the same squeaking as before.
The noise came from the duck…
The corners of Alastor's smile curl downwards as a snarl slips past his teeth, his ears also falling flat against his head. Vox isn't doing much better as his screen bugs out with colourful lines covering half of his face for a few moments.
The TV demon shoves the chair Lucifer is sitting on to the side to quickly type in his name, ignoring the sputtering coming from him at the action.
"If you're actually the fucking answer…" Vox trails off as soon as he hits enter, watching as the screen switches to load and opens up to your desktop cluttered with files and applications.
[ Welcome back :) ]
It's silent for a moment as the three take in the answer, static slowly filling the room again as the king's grin continues to grow larger.
"YES! HAHAHA! IN YOUR FACES!" Lucifer jumps from his seat as he cheers, waving the duck in their faces all the while.
Vox and Alastor sneer at the man currently parading around the room with the plush duck while thanking an imaginary audience. Neither are able to comprehend why you'd choose that buffoon over themselves.
It's fine. He might be your favourite right now, but they have an eternity to change your mind. They can be as patient as they need to bring you to your senses.
But first, they have to figure out where the hell you even are.