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Storytime!
HEADS UP: This is the last story!
The horse neighed, nay it cried. Cry, it did. Did it not hunger for food? Food wasn’t available, available nothing was. Was he dying? Dying wasn’t good. Good nothing was. Was he alright? Alright was something he was not. Not that he knew. Knew nothing, he did. Did he die? Die he did.
Storytime!
“Come on man, this way!” whispered the first soldier, as he snuck past a couple trucks. “Dude, I’ll be fine,” said the other soldier, “I’ve done this a million tim-“ but he was interrupted by a shot to the skull. “No!” yelled out the first soldier as he ran back and grasped his friend. “You can’t die on me… please…” but it was too late. His friend was gone. He threw his head back and howled at the sky. The soldier then shot every enemy in the vicinity with great speed and anger. As he took a step back and breathed heavily, a tap came on his shoulder. “Sorry dude. The lag was terrible. You didn’t have to go terminator on them all though.” And that was when the soldier remembered he was playing a video game.
Storytime!
HEADS UP: This is my favorite one.
Her arm slipped easily around his torso, as she grabbed his waist with moxie and they put their feet close together. He growled sexily, and took a step back. He reached out a hand and spun her around. She smiled and romantically looked at him and said, “That’s what it’s all about.” And they danced the hokey pokey all night long.
Storytime!
Wet. That was how Dean felt. Once his palm touched the loose grains of sand on the beach he felt relieved. He had made it. His prayers had gone unanswered, and he needed to figure out why. But, he was too tired. So he laid there, and he rested. He woke up hours later, and glanced his eyes around. Dean was confused. There was no beach. There was no water. He was in a dark dingy room with no doors, nor any windows. There were 2 plates with slices of pie on the floor. Dean thought to himself, what the fuck is happening… He picked up the first plate, noticing it was apple pie. He immediately stuffed his face with the delight, because who wouldn’t take free pie? That was when the pie next to him exploded, and he truly awoke. On the beach, with the water, and the sand. Then he awoke once more, on the couch, in the bunker. “I really shouldn’t have watched Inception last night.”
Storytime!
Samuel felt lonely. He only had a brother and a friend, but felt as if he could trust neither. He thought to himself, what if I got a pet? It seemed like a great idea, so he went to the nearest pet store and bought a fat orange tabby cat. He didn’t care that people called it ugly or overweight, he loved it as it was. Samuel brought the cat home, and was surprised by the reaction it got from his brother. “ACHOO!” His brother sneezed. “ACHOO!” His brother sneezed once more. Samuel realized with vain that his brother was allergic to the fat little fellow. Samuel didn’t know what to do! He loved the ball of fluff, but his brother was important too. He went to his friend for help, but the moment his friend laid eyes upon the cat, the friend cried out. “AZRAEL?! YOU ARE ALIVE?!” His friend then reached down to pick up the cat and squeezed it as hard as he could. The cat’s eyes glowed white, and he spoke to the friend. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME CASTIEL I’VE BEEN IN DISGUISE FOR LIKE YEARS AND YOU RUINED IT!”
Storytime!
A student walked into a classroom. They sat down in a chair and got to work on the warm-up, which was upon the board. The teacher asked for the answer to the question, and another student answered with ease. The teacher called upon the first student and asked them “What did you do this morning?” to which the student responded, “Well, I walked into the classroom and sat down in my chair and got to work on the warm-up which was upon the board. You asked for the answer to the question and another student answered with ease. You then called upon me and asked me what I did this morning, to which I responded, ‘Well, I walked into the classroom and sat down in my chair and got to work on the warm-up which was upon the board. You asked for the answer to the question and another student answered with ease. You then called upon me and asked me what I did this morning, to which I responded, “Inception.”’”
Storytime!
Dirk the jerk wasn’t always a jerk. He had been a good man once. He would give his wife flowers on her anniversary, he would donate to the local charities, and he would help out at the homeless shelter. But one day, everything just… changed. He, changed. Maybe it was the death of his wife. Maybe it was the constant yammer of the neighbors arguing. Maybe it was the violence of the world finally getting to him. His kids couldn’t take it anymore. They confronted their father, and asked him the question, “What happened to you?” Dirk turned around to face his children. He grinned. Then, his eyes turned black and he slaughtered the kids where they stood and slurped their blood. “That was a meal that I’ve been DYING for.”
Storytime!
Once there was a big fight at a laboratory. One professor was arguing about one thing to another person, and they just couldn’t agree. They took the fight outside, and even got another person involved. One of the professors yelled at the other, “You can suck my big red balls!” to which the other professor responded, “I’d rather just throw em’ back at you!” The third person finally yelled at the professors, “Just throw em’ already!” And so they did, and the Pokemon battle began.
