#ultimate fighting

[leechhealer]

[savagechickens]

The Busiest.

And more wonders of nature.

[roundcard]

[wisdomfish]

[alswirdasinterneterfanden]

Is “Ultimate fighting” trending or why does Tumblr suggest that shit to me? Why dont you shove that disgusting crap up your asses, Tumblr? I mean, search words like “sex” are banned but vids of faces getting kicked in are totally fun? And okay also for minors? Fuck this.

[savagechickens]

The Ultimate Fight.

And more silence.

[anthonybialy]

Fighting Fight Night

A UFC event at the White House is an embarrassment for both.  Call it a draw.  Wondering how we got to this point will help us develop a strategy for future matches.  It’s uncanny that such an uncouth moment is engineered by a reality show host and steak salesman who turned a few shaky real estate deals into a career as a carnival barker.  The shtick applies no matter where he’s employed, including now.

Mixing mixed martial arts and the executive branch only seems odd to your pedestrian non-presidential thinking.  If you didn’t want a show, you should’ve elected someone who has a guiding principle other than his own awesomeness.  The first WWE Hall of Famer elected president isn’t doing anything performative, as there’s no way that reflects his entire career.

The real card was for Trump’s birthday if you forgot the reason for celebrating.  MAGA Christmas featured presents only for the honoree.  The guy you know is the best fighter on account of how incessantly he’s announced such would defeat any challengers but graciously lets others battle.  He’s the Andre the Giant of presidents.

The loudest sport isn’t related to your television’s volume.  Garishness follows seeking attention with a skirmish smörgåsbord that’s promoted ceaselessly for months.  Conditions seem dissimilar from those under any present presidency that comes to mind.  

It’s tough for purveyors of shlock to credibly draw attention to a circus tent set up in an inappropriate location.  As usual, the the precisely wrong outrage junkies for the issue grandstand about decorum.  Most glaringly, one-time resident Hillary Clinton made sure to continue her lifelong quest to help Trump in any way she can by overreacting in sheer obliviousness to her hypocrisy.  But the spot still seems undignified regardless of the residence’s present occupant.

A sport that seems obnoxious has more to do with what surrounds the focus.  I’m not going to doubt the unparalleled toughness of entrants, and not only because I am thinking of my personal safety.  Figure skating is also a brutal athletic test, and I still wish they used the ice for hockey.  I’m undoubtedly missing subtleties by noticing that every duel seems like one on top of the other in what appears to be the missionary position with the exception being that lovers do not typically swing at each other’s heads like a malicious metronome.

Anything Joe Rogan likes sucks.  A universal rule has never been truer than when applied to the Rogan of sports.  Citing the lack of restrictions as a virtue is a typical defense.  But those seeking few rules may as well wish that football allows holding and pass interference.  Boxing is interesting because of limited contact allowed.

Libertarian rules apply as usual.  One can loathe a contest without spewing melodramatic charges.  It’s not the human cockfighting nonsense as the late John McCain once notoriously claimed.  But octagon-based brawling has a time and place for aficionados which doesn’t include Flag Day at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Donald Trump is skilled at proving his haters right.  He’s much better at living up to his preposterous image than, say, keeping airlines running or grasping why tariffs are for commerce-loathing liberals.  

Pre-empting parody is not what we mean by getting ahead of the news.  A most unbecoming clash on the grounds of America’s most famous temporary residence shows why a spectacle may not be a good thing.  It’s difficult to explain the notion to Trump.  That makes it like everything else.

An administration that’s crude to the point of being a spoof keeps meeting its own standards.  I would have predicted there would be unarmed combat on the president’s property as a joke.  Trump has a subtle sense of humor where he likes to do exactly the preposterous things his critics claim he will in order to disarm them.  That’s surely the strategy, no?  It sounds like the same one employed by competitors.  Do something so crazy that foes feel intimidated.

Jokes regarding a preposterous future becoming reality are now predictable.  Telling someone a decade and a half ago that President Donald Trump would be hosting scuffles visible from White House windows during the second of his nonconsecutive terms to be dismissed as excessively silly.

Idiocracy was understated.  Its best joke is that it’s not set in the future.  This presidency has unfolded like it’s written by Mike Judge.  President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho would have thought grappling on the grass went too far.  The venue might have killed the last of the lawn.

A cage tussle out front is technically presidential.  That makes it like everything else Trump does.  Something astoundingly gaudy can also be thoroughly trashy in a way usually only seen at his casinos.  That’s at least for the ones remaining open.

The pasture was going to waste.  Every previous dumb president combined didn’t have the sense of the incumbent to let that classy Dana White stage bouts in the void.  What other sport would be as fitting?  They could play football on the White House meadow, but the USFL folded a few decades ago for mysterious reasons.  Temporary unconsciousness offers a respite.  The submission hold has caused the nation to tap out.

[gifhaze]

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