#unapologeticallykrissy

[kristin-renee-blog1]

If I were truly to define love I would say...

[kristin-renee-blog1]

Letting Go People tend to hold on to the good memories when they are deciding whether or not a person is toxic in their life. This is a mistake that I found myself having. I was holding on to the good in someone because I longed for that friendship again. I had to remind myself that I left that friendship because ultimately it was to toxic. I left the door open by saying I needed time to grow. I didn't need time to grow, I just didn't need them in my life anymore. They were a seasonal person that I tried to make forever. I racked my brain trying to understand why I would allow myself to be back in a friendship that came with rules. Why allow myself to be put on the back burner because their girlfriend wasn't fond of them having other women as friends? I realized that he was going to do whatever he needed to do to salvage their relationship. If he keeps her happy, he's happy. I realized that I don't know every aspect of their relationship. Who knows what's been said about me to save face. You can only tell someone so many times how you want to be treated until you realize it's a not going to happen. We love, live, learn, and grow. I know that it's better to walk away than to say and do malicious things.

[kristin-renee-blog1]

Some days we all need a gentle reminder on how to embrace this beautiful journey we call life. Capture as many moments as you can and look back on them. Remember to #laugh. Remember to walk to the beat of your own drum. Never forget your #goals and how much closer you are to reaching them. Oh my loves, just remember to be unapologetically you.

[kristin-renee-blog1]

A Little Isolation Comes With Elevation While trying to elevate yourself sometimes you must be okay with isolating yourself. I've learned that with me trying to grow I have to either remove or distance myself from people. I don't except everyone to sing my praises but I will not accept negativity. This mentality has spilled over to every aspect of my life. I used to want to be accepted by everyone. Over the years I've realized my true power. I can walk into any room and get the attention of everybody. My confidence is so high that I don't mind walking away from people. I know the moves that I'm making to have a bright future. I've seen growth within my friendships. It's not a day that goes by that I don't talk to my friends. We could talk for 2 minutes or 2 hours, either way we're speaking. We make our friendship a priority. I've seen growth within my relationship. There are certain things I'm just not going to do or accept. If I can't trust him, he can get removed from my life. I'm operating on blind trust. I have the passwords for his devices but I don't use them. If he can cheat and someone can "take him," he wasn't mine to begin with. I've seen personal growth within me. I'm preparing myself to start my masters degree this year. My goal for this year is to get in tune with myself. If it's not elevating me, I don't want it. As always...live, laugh, love. Video blog coming next week.

[kristin-renee-blog1]

I Almost Lost Myself...Again I almost allowed someone to put me back into a negative mindset. I almost allowed someone to take away from the glow I've worked so hard for. I had to step back and remember that the same person that tried to break me with their words and sometimes actions, is the same person who made me run to therapy. I'm not ashamed to say that I went to therapy. I adored my therapist. She was sweet, kind, and hilarious. From 2014-2015 I had the best therapist ever. I worked on bettering myself. I worked on becoming the best me. I learned not to take everything someone says to me to heart. During that time I am came to the conclusion that someone's opinion of me is just that, THEIR opinion. I learned to distance myself in relationships that were damaging to me. I learned that people will often rewrite history to make themselves feel better for what they've said and done. I've been called a liar. They told me I was "pimping myself out." I laughed at "pimping myself out" because I've been with the same person for years. They blamed my sexual assault on me. I remember they used to tell me "I love you but I don't always like you." The last three probably stung the most. Yet, that's never changed my love for them. In a way I appreciate those harsh words and fallacies. It made me one tough cookie. It showed me the traits that I don't want from them. It caused me to dig deep down and realize that I am great. It taught me that if I sought validation of my greatness from them I'd never fully get it. At one point in time I felt like they were the reason I felt my world was falling down around me. In hindsight it wasn't their fault. It was my fault for allowing such nonsense to clog my mind. If I learned anything while in college it was that I am strong, determined, and unapologetically me. I have wonderful friends, I have some family members I am close with, I have a guy who cares a ton about me, lastly I have my peace of mind. Never allow someone to have that much control over your life. Start taking back your sanity. Do NOT becoming spiteful like they have. Show them the love that you want. Learn to love, forgive and move on. Until next time... live, laugh, and forgive.

[kristin-renee-blog1]

The Quasi Happy Ending

Breaking up with a friend is probably one of the hardest things I’ve done this year. We didn’t end on bad terms. I ended that friendship for personal growth and for someone else.

I can admit that it hurt like hell. I was letting go of one of my longest friendships. I was letting go of someone that I knew extremely well and for many years. I meet him on the beach when I was maybe 13 or 14 and skinny mini wearing a pink/white heart swimsuit playing beach volleyball. He was the guy of many firsts.

He was the first guy I was comfortable being around my younger brother. They clicked instantly and he played with him for hours. I think he also saved him from drowning. Sorry parents if you’re reading this.

He was the first guy I snuck out of the house to meet. I snuck out of my uncle’s house to meet him and he snuck his mom’s car to meet me at my uncle’s. We sat and talked for hours that night. Mind you we were on a military base and probably breaking curfew LOL.

He was the first guy I would argue with for hours. He wasn’t hearing any of my excuses on how I was right. Mind you I knew I was as wrong as two left shoes. He knew my dream job was in DC. He wasn’t going to let anyone stop that, including me.

He was my first heartbreak. I mean ice cream, Whitney Houston, Anita Baker, Etta James, chick flicks and tissue type of heartbreak.

We saw people come and go. We both have our reasons for disliking the other’s partner. As we’ve said many times before, many different ways…if you like it, I love it.

He’s said and has done a lot over the years. He once said, “I’ve seen you turn from this young girl to a learning and goal oriented woman. We have had our ups and downs, lefts and rights but we still manage to stick it out. Through all the love, hurt, lust, sadness, distance, we managed to maintain a tight friendship.” He also said, “I love you Kristin, I’ve help mold you into this girl with cracks, wish I could patch the cracks up but that’s what makes you, you.” He’s right about both. One day you wake up and outgrow the cycle. I always feel it’s better to leave on a good note.

I can’t count the number of times you’ve fussed about me running the Washington Mall at odd hours of night/morning. Ha but look at me surviving and what not.

Thanks for being a good friend, a shoulder when I needed it and my handbook for understanding how guys work. You helped me to not be shy in front of the camera. Hence my 1,000+ Instagram photos. You picked up where someone left scars. Thanks for being the FB to my OP. Ultimately, thanks for letting me know that it’s okay to walk away. I know that one day I’ll look up from the podium and you’ll be there in the press room snapping a picture of me. No off guard pictures please LOL. Wo man Liebe sät, da wächst Freude. I hope I did just that in your life. Until next time old friend.

#LoveOnSomebodyToday #LiveLaughLoveGrow

[kristin-renee-blog1]

HEEYY BIG HEAD

The inspiration for my blog post comes from “Foldin’ Clothes” by J. Cole. Go ahead and throw it on, you know you want too. Here’s the link (https://youtu.be/GN3C5mvajcE)

A few years back I met this guy and made a silly bet with my friends. He came at a time in my life when I was getting out of a crazy relationship. At this point in my life I was entering my wild child phase and starting college all while breaking up my psychotic ex. By psychotic I mean restraining orders and court dates. During this time he was my shoulder to cry on when I needed it. He was my late night text buddy. He was my math tutor despite being all the way in FL at college. He was intelligent, charming, handsome, hilarious… I could go on and on. My freshman and Fall semester sophomore year in college I was a wild child. If I wasn’t studying you could find me out partying. I was raised prim and proper so the moment I got a taste of freedom I went wild. I cannot tell you all the countless conversations we had about me calming down. I guess our talks finally helped because here we are a few years later. It wasn’t always a fairytale but somehow we managed.

He’s been able to bring out my softer side again. He made me take my guard down. Over the years it’s been the little things that he does that makes me smile. Taking the garbage out without me having to ask. Tidying up around the apartment. His willingness to cook when I’m worn out. He’s my Mr. Fix It when something breaks around the apartment. He either helps with laundry or does it himself. He has helped me move 3 times. If you’re reading this my dear, get ready for the biggest move this autumn. He wakes me up to remind me take my contacts out and put my bonnet on. The bonnet and contacts might seem small to some but I’m not the friendliest person if someone wakes me. He’s the person I look for when I have anxiety attacks. He encourages my fitness journey. He even indulges in my sometimes endless pageant talk. He gives the best compliments. The list of things he does for me goes on and on. The amount of times I smile and laugh because of him by far out weighs the times I’ve cried, fussed, and argued. We started off as teens in our church choir that got caught up in a bet I made with a mutual friend. Some years later here we are as 20 somethings one being a pilot the other trying to obtain a masters degree in Political Science. We’re learning from each other. Growing with each other. Encouraging each other to reach our goals. Not sure how we got to this point but I wouldn’t trade this school girl laugh and amazing glow for anything.

…with all that being said, HEEEYYYY BIG HEAD. Lol thanks babe for everything you do. Lord knows I don’t say thank you enough.

#LoveOnSomebodyToday #JustNotHim #HeIsNotThatCrazy #IAmNotWorriedThough #MyManatee

[kristin-renee-blog1]

Love (noun) 1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Love is a blessing and a curse. I love the idea of love. I'm the woman that can spend an entire weekend watching romantic movies. I know the movies are a far stretch from reality but I love them. If I have learned anything from last year, it's that love will cause you too look at certain situations through rose colored glasses. Due to this, I now follow my gut instinct. I know that when I love, I love hard. This doesn't always mean that my love will be reciprocated the same within my various relationships. My family has an unconditional love from me. I might not speak to everyone but there is love. My closet friends also have my unconditional love. My circle of friends is small but they are great. I can't forget my special someone. I don't broadcast every high between us, I don't broadcast ever low. I can say that he holds a special place in my heart. I'm positive I can say the same for him because we've been doing this dance for some time now. All in all I think love is a splendid thing. Be sure to love on somebody today. Until next time...live, laugh, love.