#unauthorized cooking

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

This is written with the knowledge of all the actions game freak wrote Giovanni with over the last 30 years, so I can't exactly blame them for not taking the individual steps when it could have happened, but man. Giovanni as a character would be so much more coherent and less pathetic if he was young in gen 1

The cockiness and the easy defeat and the dismissing the player because they're a child and he's a grown-up doesn't make sense on a seasoned mob boss, but it would make more sense on an early 20s yakuza heir first foray into the family business. He's allowed to do business on behalf of his family, but he doesn't have to worry about consequences because he's not in charge of anything major yet. If it turns out he's bad at crimes he could just be a pokemon trainer.

But then Silver happened and he had to take a real hard look at what he's doing and if his life is one he wants to pass on. Maybe take a break from Team Rocket to think it through. This man knows how to lie and charm, if he wants Silver to join the family business the kid has zero option; but instead he said the exact things necessary to turn his son away from crimes forever. He himself chose to fully commit to organized crime, and this is where we get the ambitious supervillainry that spawns Team Rainbow Rocket, because when he truly dedicate himself to it, he's horrifyingly good at being a mob boss.

This has two benefits 1) canonizes his mom Madame Boss who appeared Once in an audio drama, because we need more scary older women who would kill me I mean us 2) let him parallel the original players: as you grow from a child to a young adult, he grows from a young adult to a middle aged man, and on top of that a dark example on what total dedication to "be the very best" looks like

[8o8o8o8o8]

A day in the life of Rasmodius, the one person in the Valley responsible for keeping peace between its various spirits and creatures

6.00 AM - Wake up. Get somewhat angry that you woke up at all.

6.30 AM - Check up on your violence cases. Show a raccoon how to wrap a wound and when to see you instead of handling things by itself.

8.45 AM - Intimidate some tourists into handing over the Lunaloo they caught.

9.00 AM - Get stung releasing said Lunaloo.

9.05 AM - Try to find a runaway unicorn.

11.00 AM - Breakfast/lunch with the Dwarf. Try to teach them about electrical boxes and how they're not treasure boxes.

11.30 AM - Solve a land conflict between some walking mushrooms and a garden witch. She has short, green hair, and something about it bothers you.

12.00 PM - Check up on your cursed and infirm cases. Wonder when your request for a stationed healer will go through.

1.00 PM - Office hours. Do whatever paperwork you can squeeze in.

4.00 PM - English lessons with Krobus.

5.30 PM - Magic lessons with Abigail. Try not to have a breakdown.

7.30 PM - Make and eat dinner.

8.10 PM - Check up on your rehoming and familial cases. You will have to find somewhere to relocate a frog village tomorrow.

9.20 PM - Find the unicorn too late. Contact various people and perform her last rites.

9.45 PM - Despair, probably at Linus.

10.10 PM - Return home. Shower.

10.20 PM - File paperwork for the day. Try not to fall asleep at your desk again.

11.00 PM - Late night snack with the farmer, whose sleep schedule is somehow even worse than yours. They hover. Your friends tend to hover a lot.

11.20 PM - Send in your monthly complaint to the Council about Qi's lack of ethics, disregard for privacy, misuse of iridium snake milk, poor treatment of minions, and black market trading.

11.30 PM - Send Welwick a random pebble you picked up to reassure her that you're still alive.

11.40 PM - Wonder how long that's going to be true.

11.45 PM - Read until you stop thinking about it, then go to bed.

12.20 AM - Try not to brood about your ex wife again god it's been nineteen years—

12.35 AM - At last, sleep.

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

Woe, fucked up childhood upon Giovanni

Giovanni's the type of person who, in his childhood, was given a cubone by his mom, who fully intend for him to get fed up with such a fussy pokemon and get turned off pokemon training altogether.

And he came home one day saying it ran off and his mom (canonical pokemon hater) reassures him that it's not his fault and pokemon leaves because it's what they do. He in turn would shrug it off saying he doesn't like it anyways so it's fine.

Cut to a bridge over the water and a dog leash tied to the railing, the other end submerged.

(One of the pokemon he has in the game is a Kangaskhan, which could mean anything)

(The Cubone line is Ground-type, which could also mean anything)

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

Stardew Valley slightly more difficult questlines (massive-scoped and should not be implemented) for late year 3 and onwards

Gonna be honest this is me wizardposting. Some of these have been circling my head for over a year

Blizzard (Winter, Year 3) (kinda fucked considering what happened last winter irl)

In spring the wizard will request your help extending a contract with the winter spirits that has kept the valley blizzard-free for the last several years

You *can* say no and let him sort it out himself! This will lose a chunk of friendship with him but it will let you delay this event another year

This involves a set of randomized expensive/magical items, provided before winter arrives

If you fail the request then during a random week of winter the blizzard will hit. There's hints as to which week in the weather forecast in the last week of Fall

During the blizzard: you'll take damage if you're outside too long, all npcs are stuck indoors, all holidays of the week are cancelled, no quests are posted, and walking anywhere is slightly slowed. You can go to the desert tho Pam won't be there

Additionally, Leah stays with Marnie, Elliot with Willy, and Linus with Robin and Demetrius

Letting the blizzard happens the first year would only have the wizard tell you to do better next year, but the years after that he will get mad at you

But also letting the blizzard happen once is the only way to make the second event possible

The Gloom (last week of Spring + first week of Summer, Year 4+)

Mail from the wizard (mid spring) saying that unfortunately the reappearance of the winter storm has caused something else to also return, the Gloom

When you come see him at his tower he explains that what the gloom wants is affection: a sacrifice of four hearts of friendship of your choice, once a week on Monday during the event, for a total of 8 hearts

Once again, you're allowed to back out. He will say, with clear hesitation, that he's going to burn some of his friendship to Krobus bc he doesn't exactly have a lot of relationships to spend. You have to volunteer to do it

If either you say no or successfully provide the hearts, nothing really happens aside from the villagers pick their more negative dialogues

However, if you said no, Krobus will be very confused and scared whenever you talk to them and refuses gifts that week

If you say no both time/failed to show up at all, then the wizard goes back to 0 friendship with you and has a schedule change: twice a week he'd be found in the sewers, talking to Krobus

(The Krobus route will only happen once. Next year either you do it or the town suffers bc he's not going through that again)

If you agree to sacrifice but fail to provide the hearts, the gloom takes over and everyone bleeds friendship at a 1 heart/week rate totalling 2 hearts (so basically cancelling out the bulletin board bundles) (this is a annually recurring drain)

The reward for successfully avoiding the gloom is by Fall that year, the Peace Moon will appear. By making an offering to it (must be a cooked dish, but any cooked dish would do), all enemies will be passive the next day (they still follow you around just to keep them from being knocked out of the screen). This moon can be called upon all month every year, and visually it will appear as a golden full moon on the shipping screen

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

GABRIEL - How I wish you would forsake me. Our bond was forged as shackles.

POWER - You are speaking ill of love.

GABRIEL - How could you possibly hold love for your father, when your father hold none for his? When I filled your head with lies?

POWER - You taught us of grace and mercy. Are we wrong to extend it to you?

GABRIEL - (lost) Then I suppose you are better than me.

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

The family was too okay with Chronos redemption too fast so here's how I want it to be (probably cannot be implemented ingame)

Chronos - Melinoe: He's gonna be reaching out to her forever, and she very much take it for granted. Her sworn enemy (?) is nice to her, whatever. It would take something drastic to make her change her mind. Something like, say, Hecate using her as a test for Chronos by launching a dangerous spell at her to see if he reacts :3c

Chronos - Hades: Consider each other lost causes. They do appreciate that no one else gets dragged into this by the other one. Sometimes their sense of humor line up and they both get very uncomfortable.

Chronos - Persephone: Talking to her always make him ashamed, but they do share a language (politesse), so they can handle each other with minimal friction and on occasions even enjoy each other's company. Secretly she finds it very validating that he hates Demeter.

Chronos - Zagreus: Zagreus' idea of mercy is showing Chronos a world better than he could have dreamt of and made him beg for it back. Frankly the boy scares him.

Chronos - Cerberus: If they're in the same room he's walking out bleeding

[8o8o8o8o8]

Somewhat complicated Ultrakill gender and pronouns headcanons, by someone with far more thoughts on this than necessary

V1: has been referred to as an it since it was a sketch on a computer, never cared much about defining itself afterwards when there's cooler shit to think about like explosions and gay sex and how horribly dependant its survival is on others

V2: he/himmed by the devs bc they are more expressive than V1 + The Male As Default Thing, now they only trust other women (Mirage and Gabriel) to call them a girl. Will get very excited once they learn about neopronouns

Mirage: she's been a trans woman, complete experience and all, regardless of her actual physical reality, ever since the world knows she exists. V2 is the only one with permanent it/its Mirage privilege, the others have to earn it and she's quick to revoke it.

Gabriel: the he/him to they/them to she/her pipeline is real. Secretly has always had some vague understanding of gender =/= pronouns bc she has always seen her body as neutral despite going by he/him back then, so she adapted quickly and happily.

Ferryman: they would rather you not refer to them at all as they've shed their pronouns along with their flesh, but if you must, then she/it because that is how you'd refer to a boat. But that's just their preferences! Totally fine if you want to ignore it!! (Eventually settled on they/them because it's the most neutral one and everything else is covered in the ooze.)

Minos: cis+. Will talk extensively about the experimentation and self discovery he did to come to this conclusion. He's partial to being referred to with any pronouns because seeing which pronouns people pick is interesting to his behaviorist ass.

Sisyphus: he's a habitual liar and an intensely private person, do you really think you'd get to know what he got going on.

[8o8o8o8o8]

She/her Gabriel because she refuses to be an object as the Council condemned her to, and she doesn't consider herself a man anymore because of what she did to earn that title, and they/them is taken (the nefarious V1)

Has she figured out that woman is an option yet? Well,