#under shield

[fivefootoh]

For @fantasiawandering! <3

Decided to put some color on a sketch of Sans's awful Christmas sweater from her Under Shield fics. Fanta picked the color (without knowing the context hahaha), and I feel it creates the perfect amount of low-effort chaos that Sans would be into.

[fantasiawandering]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Wow, it's been a WHILE, huh? Let's see if I remember how to do this. I'll put the sordid tale of why it's been so long at the end for those who care to know, and for the rest, I was really hoping this would be done in time for Christmas, and I'm so happy that I made it. Happy holidays, everyone.

So the long and short of it is, a decade ago, I got a bad manager. A really bad one. She didn't understand neurodiversity, or me, and her mission in life became putting me in my place. My work was fine, it was my attitude (talking about special interests, misinterpreting non-verbal cues, stimming, being uncomfortable about sudden radical changes in my physical environment) that was the problem. My therapist figures that 6 years of living in a constant state of emergency gave me CPTSD, which rewired my brain for survival. And the part of my brain that got rewired was the part the stories came from. I had thought I'd gotten it back when I wrote the first chapter of this story. But then came the first Christmas after my mom's death (and the first Christmas with Dad's new girlfriend), and every thread I'd been desperately holding together just snapped. The way I've always written, which is the way I write and not necessarily anyone else's process, is that there was almost a well of stories in my brain, constantly overflowing, and the challenge was writing fast enough to get it all down. So when the stories just stopped, I had no idea how to continue. So I waited. And waited. And finally, this year, there's something in the well again. And I share this because I've read enough to know this kind of thing is not unique to me. And I hope to give anyone else going through the same thing hope that someday your creative well will fill again too.

[fantasiawandering]

During the annual winter celebration of putting presents under a tree, Frisk's gift for Sans doesn't go quite according to plan. Shenanigans are attempted. Surprises are ruined. New gifts are found. Something explodes. And one incredibly horrible Christmas sweater makes its debut.

I honestly don't know where this story came from, but I'm so very glad it did. After months of fearing that the part of my brain that knows how to write was never going to wake up again, this fell out of it in two days. Here's hoping that many more shake loose in 2018. 

Happy New Year, everyone!

[fantasiawandering]

Fic commentary meme

@aradow submitted:

“UNDYNE, HAVE YOU SEEN… WAIT. WAS THAT MY HUMAN?”

“Don’t worry, Papyrus, I’ve got this covered. I’m helping them science.  I’m a teacher, yanno.”

“YOU’RE A GYM TEACHER!”

“AND YOU’RE AN ASSISTANT GYM TEACHER! SO ASSIST ME!”

It’s been a thing in my head from the very beginning that even though Papyrus is one of the most popular members of the faculty, he rarely uses the human kids’ names. They’re always “[modifier] HUMAN!” Though he will very, very occasionally refer to Frisk as “small human” when they’re young, his modifier for them is almost always “my human,” or “our human” if he’s talking to Sans and he needs to specify. It’s not really a conscious decision on his part. All the other kids are variations. Frisk is his original.

Undyne’s teaching style is taking pretty directly from her training regime with Alphys. She’s actually really good at being a gym teacher (not so much with the science when she’s acting on her own, though she is actually a decent assistant when Alphys needs one, as long as nothing has the potential to explode, because if Undyne has a say, it will.)  Papyrus in this world has many, many jobs (which he’s very vocal about, as opposed to Sans’ many jobs, about which he keeps pretty quiet until you run into him at one), but he’s in charge in none of them. Not because he isn’t capable if he wants to be – he’s pretty able when it comes to raising Frisk – but because he’s just so excited about DOING things, ALL OF THE THINGS, he doesn’t have time for management. The closest he comes is his cooking classes at the school. Undyne doesn’t really need him as assistant gym teacher, but she’d never dream of denying him the enjoyment he gets. Plus, he’s really good with the little kids until they learn that Undyne is all bark and no bite. At least, not with the little kids.

You struggle from the snowdrift, coughing and sputtering, and grab Artie’s ankle to pull them up after you. Once both of you are mostly free of the snow, you look at each other, and collapse against each other in a fit of giggles.

“So which one of us hit the ground first?” you ask Undyne through your laughter.

Undyne rolls her eyes at you. “Pssh. Like I was paying attention to that.”

As mentioned, not necessarily the best at science. Contrary to appearances, Undyne actually knows exactly what Frisk is capable of taking when she dishes it out. It was kind of important to me to set up in these that affection from Frisk’s family can occasionally look dangerous and scary to an outsider, but from the inside, Frisk is totally on board and enjoying every minute. They’re not always perfect (see the roof of the embassy incident), but most of the time, if Frisk gets hurt, it’s the result of an adventurous kid being allowed to adventure, not anything the family does to them.

“Well, we’ll just have to do it again.” You smile as Papyrus tugs you the rest of the way free of the drift, and you throw your arms around him, clinging tightly so that you can kiss his cheekbone.

He blushes a little, giving a quiet “NYEH-HEH,” and brushes the snow from your jacket before looking hopefully at Undyne. “DO YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH SCIENCE? HOW ABOUT SOME NICE HOME ECONOMICS INSTEAD?”

This is a bit of a running theme. Frisk is no stranger to being someone who just wants physical affection from a loving family, and knows how much it hurts when you’re alone in the world and don’t have anyone to give it to you. They paid attention, and Papyrus’ comment about being showered in kisses stuck. Frisk will hug just about anything or anyone who’ll hold still long enough, but Papyrus is one of the very few who actually get kisses, and he gets them far out of proportion to anyone else. His awkwardness afterward isn’t discomfort – Frisk learns very quickly that it delights him so much that it has the power to derail pretty much any tear he’s on. And he never stops being surprised by it. 

Papyrus is also a much more responsible caregiver than you’d expect. He’s always up for a good wrestle or training fight, but even though he doesn’t remember all the times he nearly beat Frisk to a pulp – in his timeline, Frisk is practiced enough that they beat him in their fight fairly easily – he’s been around Sans long enough that something in the back of his mind really doesn’t like seeing Frisk helpless in the snow. 

“Uhhh, I don’t think so.” Undyne folds her arms. “The whole point of Science is proving things are repeatable, right? So they have to repeat the experiment until they get a statistically significant conclusion.” A second later, she realizes you’re all staring at her, and her brows draw together. “What??? I DO LISTEN TO ALPHYS, YOU KNOW!”

This bit is pretty self explanatory. The monsters are all very, very innocent. They’re not stupid. Undyne, though she can do stupid things sometimes, is hiding a lot of cleverness behind her bluster, and she loves Alphys more than anyone in the world. She listens to every word Alphys says. Some of it rubbed off. Papyrus has some of the same thing going on.

“oh, here’s where you went.” Sans ambles up behind Undyne, his hands in his pockets. “what’d i miss?”

“Science!” Undyne strikes a pose.

Artie finally manages to clear all of the snow out of their eyes, and blinks up at Undyne. “Yo, Teach, aren’t you cold?”

With a glance down at her bare arms, Undyne scoffs. “Come on, I’m too tough for cold. Snow takes one look at me and melts in terror.”

“I can attest to that!” calls the little snowman at the far end of the park, and you wave at it from your perch on Papyrus’ hip.

Ironically, though Frisk is a lot younger in this story than in a lot of Under Shield, Sans is a lot more laconic when it comes to Frisk’s safety. He has yet to  figure out just how much trouble a kid with zero fear of the world is capable of getting into, and though Asriel attests to how much everyone loves Frisk at the end of the game, Sans hasn’t yet realized just how much he cares yet. 

Undyne just grins. “See?” Whirling, her hands on her hips, she looks at you in much the same way that the Dogs look at a stick, and you cling a little more tightly to Papyrus. “Now, seems to me the problem is you’re not in the experiment enough. What is it that Toriel’s always yammering on about during staff meetings?”

“PROMPT MARKING?”

“No.”

Frisk isn’t afraid here. But they know Undyne well enough to know that caution is advised, and safety lies in Papyrus.  

I’m also kind of amused, having been though enough teacher staff meetings in my life, at the thought of how they’d run at the cooperative school. Toriel would, of course, be a passionate advocate for experiential, student-centric learning.

I also have this idea that Monsters don’t always commit fully to a single career. They do things they love, but they don’t see the human insistence on limiting themselves to a single job if there’s more than one thing you need to do. Though few go to Papyrus’ extremes, most members of Frisk’s family divide their duties between the Embassy, the school, and in Undyne’s case, her gym as well. Though Aaron is perfectly capable of running it when she’s otherwise occupied. But since Undyne’s duties are largely centred around Frisk’s personal security, being Frisk’s teacher kind of kills two birds with one stone.

Undyne’s least favourite aspect of teaching is the paperwork.

“NOT SLIMING THE CHILDREN?”

“NO! Come ON, Papyrus!”

“yeah, bro, throw her a bone.”

“EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING?” Papyrus offers, glaring at Sans.

“Yeah, that thing!” Undyne crows. “You gotta EXPERIENCE the experiment, punk! Here, check this out.”

Sans cannot get through a story without at least one pun. This is why I both love writing him, and hate it so damn much. Puns are hard. Especially when you need to keep coming up with new ones.

I also had fun trying to think of what they’d discuss in staff meetings. They’re often about fire safety. Because Undyne and Papyrus.

She reaches forward and plucks you out of Papyrus’ arms. Before anyone has a chance to realize what she’s planning, she’s already hauled her arm back. You can feel her muscles coiling like steel beneath you, and in another instant, you’re airborne, hurtling toward the clouds. Over the fading shouts of the skeletons below you, you can just make out Undyne’s words.

“WHAT??? KIDS BOUNCE, RIGHT?”

I did say Undyne was smarter than people thought. I also said she’s more than capable of doing stupid things sometimes. This is one of those times. :D

Facetiousness aside, even though she’s not entirely clear on the no-bouncing thing, she’s seen Frisk fall from greater heights and walk away. And canonically, Frisk is not the first person Undyne has transported via flinging. She’s operating pretty squarely within Frisk’s limits as she knows them.

Fortunately, Sans and Papyrus aren’t willing to see this hypothesis through to its conclusion. :D

[fantasiawandering]

An Undertale fanfic

About a year after the events of Mistletoe, Frisk celebrates the new year with someone who really needs something to celebrate.

Better late than never! This took a lot longer than I had hoped. Happy birthday to all the Holiday babies, and a Happy New Year to everyone. I hope it’s treating you well.

[fantasiawandering]

My favorite story of yours has to be What Dreams May Come, although I’m sorely tempted to just say all of Undershield because it’s all so good. I love how you write Frisk as extremely kind, stubborn, and vulnerable. You also do Frisk and Sans’ friendship/siblinghood so well, and I have a soft spot for anything along the lines of “we’re both messed up, so let’s be messed up together.”

Aaaaaaah thank you!  That is the story that almost did me in. It was so much of a challenge to write, especially finding the balance in the last two chapters, and I’m so glad you enjoy it. The bond between Frisk and Sans is probably my favourite thing to explore, especially during its fragile early days, and it does have a habit of pushing itself into the narrative more than I anticipate, but I’m really glad it has resonated with so many people, too.

Thank you! <3

(favourite story meme)

[fantasiawandering]

@bunniebard replied to your link “Adventures in Human Sitting: The Cat Came Back”

OH MY GOSH-- I've read none of Under Shield yet, but this one didn't look too end-game spoiler-y.... it never ceases to amaze me how SPOT ON you are with characterization and dialog!! Amazing.

Thank you so much!  Stories like this one get really challenging, trying to extrapolate how the characters change as they grow. <3 I’m so glad you liked it!

[fantasiawandering]

An Undertale Fanfic

In which Frisk undergoes one of the most important human coming of age rituals -- Prom -- Sans gets himself into a very pointed mess, and both of them learn that sometimes learning how to grow up human is harder than any battle Underground.

This needs a good edit, and I swear I will come back to do it. But what was meant to be a short character study turned into about thirty pages of comfort fluff, because it's me, and given the current global situation, I figured that some people might be needing comfort fluff about now (I know I do), and thought I'd go ahead and post it anyway, for those who don't want to wait. The ff.net post will go up with the finished, edited version, but for now, here you go.