- Me, not at all." - Jay Undercover part 3, Upstead 8x15
Description: How will Hailey react to the fact that Jay will have to go subbing at the club? Hailey is not one for jealous women, but is she really?
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- Do you really have to go there? - I tried to sound natural and understand Voight's decision to divide the task during today's action even though it didn't seem dangerous or very complicated, but I still don't like it. Aside from the fact that Darrell son of Deputy Superintendent Samatha Miller appears out of nowhere with information about one of the dealers and is now our CI, which messes up his paperwork, it's Jay who's doing the black work as usual.
- To this club? - Jay sat down on my desk as usual, I leaned against the chair I was sitting on to see him more clearly and nodded. We were alone in the room, as Kim was probably in the locker room, Adam and Kevin downstairs with our newly CI, and Voight disappeared somewhere right after we discussed the details, so we were free to chat. - Well, you know, there's no compulsion, but you know, with Miller on the case, I don't think it's right to say no, and besides, it's going to be quick, and then we can go somewhere to eat. - He smiled as he usually does and that made my knees soften, like probably all women. And it's this thought that I can't get over, because after all Jay Halstead will be alone in this club with no cover except for Adam and Kevin who will be sitting in the van but that doesn't change anything because still Jay will be alone with so many women who I'm sure will be very scantily dressed. Damn.
- Yeah you're right - I said and got up. I went to the breakroom to make myself a coffee or whatever to make these stupid visions popping up in my head disappear. To be honest, I've never felt as piritic as I do now.
- Hailey, are you okay? - Jay stood behind me as I started making coffee for both of us.
- Yes - I replied without even looking at him. It's not that I'm angry or anything I just feel too many emotions at once and as usual I prefer to stay in my bubble alone and besides it's ridiculous that I feel jealous, I've never been jealous of any of my former boyfriends and then Jay Alexander Halstead appears and everything in her life changes by 180%. Feelings awaken in her which she didn't even know existed or which I feel more intensely than before I met this detective.
- Honey, I can see - he touched my shoulder gently, at which I closed my eyes. It still surprises me how my body reacts to even the slightest touch from him, this is another thing that hasn't happened before.
- Nothing, just," I sighed. I didn't know how to put into words what was swirling around in my head. After all, if Jay finds out that I'm jealous, he won't leave me alone and he'll remind me of it at every opportunity, and besides, my pride doesn't allow me to say it out loud.
- Hailey, I don't want to pressure you and if you don't want to tell me now okey, but I want you to know that I will always be there to listen to you even if it's bullshit to you because it won't be that way to me. - he said in a calm, tender voice. He put his arms around my back so that I could rest my back against his chest.
- I don't want you to go there, I know I am selfish, but I don't give a damn. - I said all in one breath and bit my lip nervously waiting for my boyfriend's reaction.
- Why? - he asked, and in his voice I didn't find any mocking, ridicule, just pure curiosity.
- First of all - I turned around and moved a little bit to look at him better. - This whole affair stinks to me from a distance, secondly, you are still doing the black job for everybody, I know that you are the highest rank (except for me, of course) - at the last comment we both laughed - and don't you think that going to a night club is not a little demanding for such a good policeman - I said in a relatively neutral voice. I saw Jay biting his lip and trying to remain serious, but there were funny flares sparking in his eyes. I knew he wouldn't take me seriously. I shouldn't say anything.
- Hey wait, give me a chance to say something, please - seeing my hand and wanting to leave he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together. - First of all you are right, there is something wrong in this case, but it is worth checking, especially that it is about Miller's son, and secondly as for me doing the black job, well no one solves cases as well and reliably as I do the wonderful, excellent, handsome and eloquent detective - he winked at me at the last comment, which made me laugh. And the fact, nobody is as good as him, you have to admit he is right about that. - And thirdly, can you imagine Adam walking into that club? Because I don't - right I can already see Adam burning his cover because some girl has recognised him, or something will upset him quickly or he's had too much to drink. That's how Adam totally fits in. - And Kevin is already upset that we have to use badges to help his son higher up anyway. You know how touchy Kev is about this - that's right too. I understand Kev and I respect him a lot for his views and he is one of my best friends apart from Jay of course, Kev is the closest to me out of the whole team and I hope there is a promotion for him in the near future because he deserves it very much. - And fourthly I know you too well Honey to guess that's not the main reason, am I right? - Jay raised one eyebrow and tilted his head with a small smile, knowing he was right. Damn, he saw through me, on the other hand it doesn't surprise me too much. He knows me too well, he can read me like an open book. Sometimes just one look and he knows what ails me, what's wrong with me and vice versa. We know each other like horses and maybe that is why we are such good partners at work and in private life. Neither of us has to make an effort to understand the other, which for me is a great help, because sometimes I find it very difficult to find the words and courage to confess something to him.
- Well," I began, releasing my hand and immediately felt a chill, but I ran it over my face to gather the right words. - What I mean is ... - I started talking nervously. I don't know why I'm nervous to tell Jay that I'm jealous, after all it is Jay. He won't laugh at me or say anything negative, so why can't I tell the truth? Well yes because your pride won't allow it I thought. And that you think it's childish, that you're jealous and the past has shown that nothing good comes out of jealousy.
- Hey, honey, what's going on? It's me after all - he put his hands on my shoulders and sent me a reassuring smile.
- Okay - I took a deep breath. Once a goat's death. - When I think that in this club there will be so many half-naked women who will devour you with their eyes it makes me squirm. I'm sorry, I know it's childish of me and that I shouldn't feel jealous and - Jay's lips sawed into mine interrupting my speech.
- Honey, don't cry - he put his hands on my cheeks and wiped away the tears with his fingers. I didn't even know I was crying and I didn't know why. - First of all it's not childish of you and you have all the right to be jealous because it's an emotion and like any other emotion it's necessary and completely normal. It took me a long time to get to this point, but now I know that the emotions we feel should never be apologised for, ok. - He kissed me on the cheek to cheer me up a bit. - Hailey - he lifted my hand and placed it over his heart - For the four years since you walked into this bank, this has belonged to you and no one else, Angel, and no matter how hard any woman tries or how good she looks she can't match you and how I feel about you. - He squeezed my hand and pulled me to him. It was hard for me to hold back the tears that started running down my cheeks. I don't think I'll ever get used to Jay's words. I still can't believe that he a handsome, wonderful man with such a huge and pure heart chose me a girl with problems who messed up a lot of things, with a lot of demons that she is afraid to fish out and let's not hide with average looks. Jay could have anyone so why me? It's a question that's been swirling around in my head all the time, but I've never dared to ask him and I doubt I ever will. - I love you so much. Hailey you are the best thing that ever happened to me - he pulled away from me so he could look at me. He wiped away my tears again - You are the only person I think about when I get up and when I go to bed and even in my sleep. - He kissed me on the forehead and I cuddled into him. How this man can make me fall in love with him all over again and when I think that it is impossible to love someone more, it turns out that it is possible.
- Okay you can go to that club - I said which made Jay laugh. and also me. - Just be careful, because when you get home there will be a surprise waiting for you - I said pulling away from Jay with a sly smile that foreshadowed the coming night, or day in fact. Jay bent down to kiss me on the lips and looked at me. I could see in his eyes that he was looking forward to the end of today's affair as much as I was.
- Every day when I wake up and look at you I can't believe that life has given me such an unusual and lovely surprise - he whispered against my lips and kissed me again. - Angel how much I love the prospect of kissing you and holding you in my arms unfortunately we have to stop this because it is time for me - he said pulling his lips away from mine.
- I know - I didn't mean to, but I pulled away from my boyfriend. Jay kissed the top of my head one last time and walked towards the door, at which he still stood and turned towards me with a big smile, which I immediately reciprocated.
- By the way, it's sweet that you're jealous.
- I knew you would reproach me for it - I tried to be serious, but the giggle that escaped my lips betrayed me.
- I know you love me anyway - he said also laughing. I shook my head at the idiot who disappeared a moment later. He's right I love him no matter what.
As I watched Jay leave the room I was reminded of a quote I once read:
"Love. Two people meet by chance, and it turns out they've been waiting for each other their whole lives."
I didn't know I would ever say that quote applied to my real life until I met Jay
