Unhinged thinks
What if Sanemi is extra harsh on Tanjiro because he's jealous?
Sanemi's been trying to get Giyuu to fuck open up to him for so long and out of nowhere comes this scrub who somehow transformed Giyuu from a decorative object to a living, breathing human being who'll defend him without hesitation and was even ready to commit seppuku for him.
He's been playing the Trial Version of BefriendGiyuu while Tanjiro got access to the entire Game of the Year/Remastered/Director's Cut/21st Anniversary Water Breathing Collection complete with access to:
Giyuu's crib.
His past.
And the Buddy, Buddy Restaurant Hangout side quest.
He even unlocked the steam-0%-of-players Giyuu-san Bath Cutscene AND the Simmered Salmon with Daikon Invitation Achievement!
Sanemi's absolutely choking with envy like me when I see bastards pass that Stardew Valley Ginger Island cave, Simon-says minigame on the first try.
It's the same for Obanai too! I bet he cried in his bedroom after reading Mitsuri's letter.
Tanjiro hooked both their hoes easy! He came out the womb with testingcheats set to TRUE and used stats.set_skill_level Major_Charisma 10 to unlock the 'Best Friends' relationship level with Giyuu, Tengen, Muichiro and Mitsuri while Sanemi and Obanai are still at 'Acquaintances' playing on console against a PC blessed with an NVIDIA GTX graphics card and a 100gb CC folder.
It's gotta be painful knowing a literal child's got more rizz stats than you grown-ass men! Just look at the switch-up on both of them when Muichiro mentioned Tanjiro. The beef they have with him is real! 😂
Marinated for months in a bucket of brine, cooked well done, seasoned salt-bae-style with lots of seethe and glazed with a generous amount of thick, bitter sauce made from cold, lonely nights and bitchless tears.
For Sanemi, his own beef comes with a two-for-one promo because he had to deal with the little shit embarrassing him at the Hashira meeting in front of Giyuu, snatching up Genya and talking back to him!
It's no wonder he was out for blood, from his POV Tanjiro's a nosy, homewrecker who stole his brother AND his man!
Nah, Sanemi ain't gonna let that slide. My man grew up in the trenches so you know he's one of those messy, catch-me-outside bitches. I can tell just from this foul, 'seriously-fuck-you', backhanded punch he dished out here after he realized Tanjiro was tanking his swings 😭😭
We stan a petty Queen! 🙌🏼