#unsent text

[cxlxrblindchamelexn]

i hate that you mock me for getting quiet when people die in horror movies but shut down the conversation as soon as anyone mentions the real-life death of a pet or loved one because you can't handle their loss. we're the same. get over yourself

[granular-experience]

I'm so tired of you making me feel like shit for having to rely on you.

[mycptsdstory]

This is an unsent letter.

Hi A.M,

This isn’t a message I’m sending.

This letter is for me. The one I’m writing for me because I need solidarity, and I need to release the story we were tangled in for far too long.

I want you to know; I forgive you.

Not because you apologized, and not because the pain disappeared. Not because of someone told you. It’s so we can be at peace and move on.

I forgive you because I no longer want to carry the weight of what you never tried to understand. For what the lies people have told you and you still hate me for.

I still forgive you.

But forgiveness does not mean access. You can’t contact me, I can’t contact you.

And that’s why I’ve closed this chapter between us.

There was a time I wanted to talk, to explain, to clear the air, to reconnect maybe. But over and over, I was met with hostility, with anger, with distance. I’ve reached out more times than you will ever know.

Each time, I was hoping for healing. Hoping you can hear me out.

Each time, I got more hurt instead.

I know I was wrong to make fun, to poke and not believe you about your FND. I wanted you to hear it from me. Instead, you got angry.

I tried many times to apologise to you and even reached out to your ex. Yes, it was wrong for me to do that.

The last time I contacted you, I forgave you and I still wanted that talk. But that’s been years since.

So now, I’m choosing something different. I’m choosing quiet boundaries. You can’t contact me, I can’t contact you.

Not to punish you, but to finally protect me. My peace and my healing.

I don’t hate you. I haven’t done in a very long time. Despite what people told you. I don’t hate you.

I don’t wish you harm, I don’t wish you hate. I actually wish you all the best and I hope you have a happy full living life.

But I don’t want to be reachable to someone who never made the effort to truly see me, hear me, or believe me. Especially when my family abused me, when our friend R pitched in between us.

I know she said some things about me and I know she has done with many other old school friends. Which is why, she can’t contact me anymore and her family.

We had a very toxic past. You start, I start; it was never ending. Yes we were best friends at one point, but then my family got involved and that obscured my belief onto you. It wasn’t fair on you and I tried to reach out to you, to apologise. Instead, I got hurt by your anger.

But then, we both started to attack each other. I tried to apologise to you years later and you got angry at me. I never understood why.

I’ve spent too many years holding space for people who never gave the energy back. I’ve spent too many years, hoping someone to finally hear my side. When I got hostility instead.

I’ve grown up since then, we both have. We are not children anymore, playing in the school park. We are grown ups, with lives, responsibilities, bills and so on. It’s not the same anymore. A.M we are not the same. I’ve outgrown the version of me who waited for a response that was never coming.

You and I?

We’re history now. And that’s okay.

Not every story gets a warm ending. Some stories are just lessons. Some are just echoes. Some are just memories. Some are just, the past.

I will remember the good things, when we both liked the same boy, when we both did our makeup. But, I will no longer reopen old wounds hoping for someone else might finally offer the closure I’ve now found within myself.

I’m sorry we couldn’t have that talk. I’m sorry we couldn’t close that chapter between us. I’m sorry we couldn’t reconnect maybe. And that’s okay.

Again, I don’t hate you. I want you to have a happy life.

Goodbye and forever, A.M.

You will not be hearing from me again. I wish you the best in life.

[orchestralcollage]

✉ from Thalia to Avery

(txt to Avery): would you want to go get a cup of coffee sometime?

[teenagers-are-fucking-imperfect]

You hate your life. You hate the universe, you blame it for every fucking shitty thing in your life because there's no other to blame.

[unsenttextsuggestion]

You need help

[unsenttextsuggestion]

im sorry for everything 

[unsenttextsuggestion]

I hate you. I hate dad more but you, you passive, pathetic little bitch, I hate you a lot. You’re cruel. You stood by and let it happen. You will never be whole.