#unsolicited rant

[dragontatoes]

I get the feeling that some people think “not performing femininity right” is an intrinsic female experience, and I know why they think it, but that was also the number one reason I figured out I was never going to be a woman. I need people to stop thinking that everyone that experiences this feeling just has to “reclaim their femininity from the patriarchy”, “be a hairy, loud, confident woman”, “redefine womanhood”, or whatever the fuck. I’m more sure now about being a man than I am about being right handed. I tried presenting lots of ways, and still being referred to as a girl the whole time just made me feel like shit. I might feel like I couldn’t handle being a girl, but it wasn’t really due to anyones expectations of me. I just really fucking hated trying to be a girl my whole life because I wasn’t one. That experience is just something you might have to accept, even though it doesn’t match your instagram feminism

[ahah1127]

I do not think MV will get pregnant #myopinion

Ok.  

Just to put it out there for any other anons - it is not necessary to submit your vote on whether or not Malicia Vanilli will get pregnant today. Some think she will, some think she won’t. I’m not curious enough about the subject to seek everyone’s opinion on the subject.

To turn this around into something interesting, allow me to share why I get turned off by discussions on whether or not a couple will have kids that starts as soon as they get married. In short, it’s rude and invasive. 

Some couples just do not want to have children - ever. There’s nothing wrong with that, and they shouldn’t be shamed for it. 

Further, some couples don’t want to have children, but life has other plans and they get surprised by kids they end up having, and loving every bit of raising them. A couple who doesn’t want kids should not be put on the spot to say so, then end up having kids down the road and worry that some day some nosy person will tell those kids that their parents didn’t want them.

Other couples desperately want to have kids, but life has other plans for them and no matter what they try, they can’t. For them, every damn time someone talks about them having kids, they have to go through the private hell of what they are facing - usually while smiling, nodding and keeping it to themselves.

Then there’s the whole challenge when one spouse is ready to try for a baby and the other is not. That can bring all kinds of stress and tension to a marriage.  When the “when are you having a baby” question is asked to them, they have to smile and play along to avoid diving into a whole explanation of the fights and tension that have been existing between them for months now while they try to figure things out.

When it comes to having kids, everything in life does not always go as planned. That’s why it’s a private and intimate decision between a couple. It’s none of anyone else’s business and really and truly every time that someone asks a couple when they are having kids they are essentially saying “So, tell me about your sex schedule with your husband”.  If you don’t know someone well enough to ask that question, then you shouldn’t be talking to them about their plans for having kids.

I know that has nothing to do with what you submitted anon, but it’s an explanation of why I get turned off by speculation over Michael and Malicia or anyone else having kids.

[anotherdamnpolyglot]

?????

Coming back from the grave to express my shock and bewilderment about this petty conflict I’m seeing between langblr people that care about linguistics versus those passionate about “language learning”...I’m trying to decide whether I care enough to comment...

Let’s start by saying that it’s weird and reductive to suggest that language learning is nothing but learning word lists. There is inevitably overlap between learning a language and learning about linguistics. As someone who had studied several languages independently before setting foot in my first linguistics course, I found that knowledge of a handful of different syntactical and phonological systems provided a huge amount of perspective, and made learning linguistics so much more intuitive and concrete than it would have been otherwise. Plus let us not forget that socio-linguistics and applied linguistics are important fields that, if I’m honest, don’t get enough respect in certain pretentious corners of the linguistics world beholden to the “scientific rigor” of, say, contemporary syntax. Sure, learning a language is not the same as learning linguistics, but why pretend like there isn’t overlap? Why reduce what a language learner does to memorizing words and phrases when, of course, what they do is comprehensively engage with a complex new culture and communication system.

I guess I respect the fact that it can feel like Tumblr is dominated by people who are more interested in learning languages or cultures than learning about linguistics. But I’ve never felt like the wall put up between linguistics and language learning (with linguistics often presented as a more serious or sophisticated pursuit) is necessary. Most of the blogs I follow confirm that feeling.

Anyway, I haven’t posted in a while, and this is reminding me that language blogging is fun. I’ll also give myself props for being like many, many people on here and walking the line between linguistics and polyglottery.

[productofcanada]

parki-world said: This is probably going to come off as cheesy but oh well lol, isn’t being dapper more a state of mind like having swag? The ma’am versus sir debate has a lot to do with context and who says it.

Hmmm I don't know. Is it? I'm not really sure how the dapper or swag thing works lol I think the state of mind - thinking/believing you are dapper or have swag - is a little counter intuitive to me lol I'm firmly stuck with the Canadian  high regard for humility an an aversion to conceit. I just personally have an issue with people feeling the need to state how sexy/hot/cute/attractive they are. Like that's awesome that you think you're so great but if you're full of yourself then what does does any of the rest of it matter because it's so unattractive? And don't even get me started on the arrogrance masquerading as self confidence argument which is even worse.

So I take it back. I don't want to be dapper or have swag if it's going to turn me into an even bigger asshole lol