#untraining

[sp00kyrachael]

get a girl whos untrained and you could see this every day <3

help keep me padded so i can post more pics! i would *love* to try super pixel pals 🥺 https://venmo.com/u/rachaelspooky

[pathtodiapers]

I've been unsuccessful in wearing 24/7. I need a more flexible plan to get used to wearing more and ramp up. Going straight into 24/7 is too overwhelming for me. I just bought a kSafe which is coming tomorrow so I can lock myself using my locking diaper cover. I'm going to be using the DiapStash app so I can track my wearing for 2 weeks by % of hours. Then each week I will try to increase the time by 5% each week. If I started at 0% wearing per week, it would only take 20 weeks/4 months to get to 24/7. 5% increase means wearing for 8 hours more per week, so that's an additional diapered night or workday each time.

[sp00kyrachael]

hey peeps! 60 day untraining update.

everything's still going great. it's become so normal at this point. there hasnt been a second success of going in my sleep, but i have gotten to the point where ive stopped mentally tracking my wettings and instead judge by checking. before long, im sure i will mistakenly think i had an accident when i didnt, i just forgot. thatll be neat. and im so used to changes and the whole routine that it doesnt feel like a noteworthy event anymore.

i find i can hold indefinitely still (though im trying not to, i still get pee-shy in certain situations that have lasted quite a while), but i am feeling quite a bit of discomfort very quickly now, and peeing in smaller amounts. so thats pretty cool. the boosters and covers are helping tremendously with the "trust your diapers" aspect of untraining; i dont think ive had a proper leak since i got them. and that helps so, so much in just feeling able to let go and continue with what im doing, confident my clothes will stay dry. ive also gotten better at going in a variety of positions, but sitting is still difficult, and maybe 30% of the time i need to stand up to go. ive also rediscovered something that happened last time i tried to untrain: when in bed, on my back, i will feel the need to go quite strongly, but not be able to release because of gravity and the fact that my bladder isnt actually full enough yet! as in, relaxing the muscles does nothing. yet i will feel the need really strongly, and im not sure how to handle this except drink even more water before bed so when i do wake up to pee, theres enough that i can release. it's really neat seeing this progress.

i just got back from a week of staying with inlaws and hiding my diapers while doing so. it wasnt easy; i had a secret cardboard box in the room we were staying in, in which i had 16 diapers and a handful of diaper covers. i also had my travel bag, which i take with me on outings, which i stocked with 3 diapers, powder, wipes, barrier cream, duct tape, disposal bags, and ziploc bags to seal those disposal bags in.

so total inventory was 5 incontrol active air, and 14 tenas. as you can guess, that's not enough for a week; the trip ended up lasting longer than expected and i went back home at one point to restock. luckily it wasnt too long a drive. i did my changes in secret, taking the used ones out when no one was around. i made sure to wear longer clothes that wouldnt show anything. i think it went well.

now im back home! i have my boosters again :) i was pee-shy around the inlaws and ended up holding it or sneaking off to another room to let go on several occasions, and now im freeeeee and it's easy again!

thanks to a very kind friend, im stocked for roughly two more months. hopefully i can keep this going. it makes me so happy.

[pathtodiapers]

I accidently have 4.3 months worth of diapers

I was kind a silly baby when I bought 2 cases of megamaxes, while i had 100+ incontrol elite hybrids. Soo now at my standard pace of 2 diapers per day, if I wore 24/7 it would last me 4.3 months. Because of that I'm going to try going 24/7 again. If I don't this still will remain so big for so long and I can't discreetly keep such a big stash forever. cause it takes up my closet space.

Quitting 24/7 after a few days always happens but I've been wearing more and more overall so I think I can do it this time. I will try to keep this updated with updates.

[sp00kyrachael]

about a week ago i had my first real accident!

ive been in pullups because i have a UTI and dont want to soak in a soup of e coli all day

i was playing ffxiv and was doing the third nier raid for the first time and those boss fights are SO LONG and i had a lot of coffee and-

it made me very happy ^_^

[sp00kyrachael]

so like. a lot of other blogs have a policy of staying extremely private, not revealing names or personal information, not showing their face, etc etc

i get wanting to avoid stalkers. thats totally legit

but as far as... hiding the diaper thing from those in my life? thats not really a thing for me. everyone knows. im open about it. i post about untraining on main. literally all of my friends, including irl, know im in diapers and are normal about it like it's just another fun fact about the rachael. half of them find it hot. and while i am unemployed, i have gotten several interviews thanks to being quite popular on the fediverse, which is the "main" i mentioned earlier. my future coworkers would all know. my diapers are not a secret.

maybe part of it is kink for me, but it isnt *just* kink. sure, i think diapers are hot, but that has almost nothing to do with being 24/7. i do this because it feels *right*. call it emotional dependency, call it being transabled, or even body integrity identity disorder, but needing to lose bladder control is as much a dysphoria as my need to transition. ive been able to articulate it to myself since i was a kid, like two or so years before i could understand my being a girl. and finally at 34 im making it happen.

im not weird about it. i dont flaunt my diapers. i am just chill and normal about it. i wear clothes meant to cover them and reduce smell, i try not to let them be visible, but if a rando at the store sees some waistband while i reach for a high shelf, i dont give a shit, the same care i would have if it were regular underwear. untraining is literally giving myself a disability on purpose and i treat it like one. it's not a secret and it's not a huge focus. it's just life.

so i guess what i wanna say is my name is rachael arbor and i am absolutely gorgeous and i am wonderful for who i am, not whats in my pants <3

[sp00kyrachael]

hehehe i did it again ^_^ another step on the way to becoming a bedwetter

[sp00kyrachael]

i am absolutely LOVING the diaper covers i got!!! i got four rearz ones and i think this design is the cutest