Tomorrow | Ushijima
tags/warnings: angst, comfort, fem!reader, mentions of blood/medical procedure, implied depression if you squint
wc: 2.7k
a/n: i hope this isn't too sad, but i decided to try writing beyond my usual genre. also i am not a doctor so i may not be entirely accurate with this. this is technically gonna be a two shot now that i think about it. part two may take a bit though.
Practicing, practicing, practicing. Serving and spiking for hours. Years of hard work had come to this. Ushijima had now qualified to try out for the national team. He was very excited though you would never see it on his face and he was grateful to you for your support. It wasn't easy maintaining your relationship through his away games and his hours spent tirelessly practicing, but you had made it. Tryouts were in June, a short 6 months away and Ushijima was working harder than ever.
"Welcome back Toshi." You greeted as he entered the house drenched in sweat from his afternoon jog. "Good afternoon," he replied, "I'm heading to take a shower before lunch. I won't be too long." And with that, he disappeared into the master bedroom to bathe. You continued putting the finishing touches on lunch. The lasagna was finished and already cooling and the peach cobbler was almost done baking. Tryouts weighed heavily on your mind also. You knew Ushijima was working hard but wasn't he working a little too hard? He's a logical man to a fault but still, this felt a little unstable. Almost unlike him. You pushed the thoughts out of your head and put lunch on the table. He wouldn't overwork himself, not him.
"Lunch was delicious." approved Ushijima, as he started clearing the dishes. "Give my compliments to the chef." You chuckled. "So how is the ace of this household going to spend his day off?" He paused for a minute in thought. Please don't let it be more training. He turned to you and smiled. "How about we start the show you've been telling me to watch. We can close the blinds and spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch if you'd like." You were giddy at the thought. "That sounds amazing! I'll go set it up and I'll leave you to the dishes." "Sounds like a plan."
You turned on the movie and settled in. However, Ushijima could tell something was bothering you but waited until after the show to tactfully address it.
"I was thinking, and I'd like you to see one of our practice games next week. I already asked the coach and he said it would be fine. I don't want you to think I'm overdoing it so I'd like to you come and see my progress." He looked at you expectantly. You felt the heat rise to in your face with excitement. "Really? I'd love that!" You squealed. "What day were you thinking?" "How does next week Wednesday sound?" "Perfect!"
Time flew and before you knew it, you were driving down to the gym where Ushijima was having his practice match. You parked and quietly tiptoed into the gym, not that anyone would notice you over the rapid smashes of the volleyball. You settled into the seats on the far side of the gym. The game was still in view but you were a safe distance away. Thanks to an unfortunate incident with an erratic spike, you knew to keep your distance.
Scanning the gym you saw that Ushijima was up to serve. The ball flew up in the air before making a solid connection with his palm. The bull rocketed over the net, barely giving the opposing team's libero any time to respond. Somehow they managed to receive it but it ended up being a chance ball for Ushijima's team. It was set perfectly to Ushijima who executed the cleanest line shot you'd ever seen. He was in top form. "Nice kill! His teammates cheered.
Before you knew it, they were in the middle of another rally. Unlike his high school days, Ushijima did a lot more receiving even though it wasn't his strong point. This rally was particularly long with neither side wavering. Suddenly, the opposing team did a block wipe and it launched towards the out area. Ushijima lunged for it with a speed you'd never seen before. He had improved. But then it happened. The snap was followed by a loud bellow as Ushijima collapsed. Time froze. His teammates rushed over and medics came too. An ambulance was called. You got in it. Ushijima writhing in pain the whole time.
What had happened? You wondered and looked down at him in the stretcher as the ambulance rushed to the hospital. His knee. You saw it now. It was twisted at an insanely painful angle. Knees were not supposed to bend to the side and yet his was. The swelling was intense and purple and you couldn't bear to look anymore. Instead, you turned your attention to Ushijima's face. His usually somber olive eyes now had tears in them. Your chest tightened and you felt tears build in yours as well. Kissing his forehead, you held his hand as he eventually lost consciousness.
You sat impatiently in the sterile waiting room chair as Ushijima was taken into surgery. He had partially torn his ACL and completely torn his anterior knee ligament. You were more concerned about him being alright but you couldn't help but think of the unavoidable. Would he be able to play volleyball again?
You were told the surgery would take 2-3 hours. 2 hours in, Tendou arrived. "I came as soon as I got your text. How are you doing?" He asked, giving you a hug. You started sniffling on his shoulder, hot tears racing down your cheeks. "Hey, hey it's alright. Let it all out." he comforted, pulling your tighter. You began to sob as he sat you down. "He's in surgery now so all we can do is wait. Drink some water." He offered you a bottle on the table next to you. As you sipped, he continued.
"When was the last time you ate?"
You paused, realizing you weren't sure of the answer. You ate lunch before going to the practice match but that was at least 6 hours ago. But before you could respond, Tendou interrupted your thoughts. "I'm sure it's been at least 8 hours. Let's get something before you end up a patient." And with that, you headed to the cafeteria.
There were various options available. Their enticing aromas tickling your nose, but you still didn't feel ready to eat. Tendou guided you over to the deli aisle to find something to take back to the waiting area. Chicken sandwiches, greek salads, and then you saw it. Pickled plum onigiri. Catching a glimpse of your watery eyes, Tendou wordlessly purchased the rice ball and you returned to the waiting room.
"So how are you feeling?" You looked up, the tears making your onigiri saltier as you munched. "This was his favorite food." You muttered. "Now, now, don't talk as if he's dead. I'm sure he'll be out soon." The redhead patted your head. "However, if you don't wanna talk about how you feel, I'm more than happy to sit with you until he gets out. I'll be here if you need anything." Nodding, you returned to your meal, thoughts racing inside your head. What if something goes wrong during surgery? Will he be able to walk? How long will recovery be? When can he come home? How will he handle it? What if they need to amputate? A clear voice cut into your thoughts.
"[Y/N], the surgery was successful and Ushijima is now in recovery."
You practically jumped to your feet, however, you began to sway a little as Tendou stabilized you. The exhaustion began to set in and you slowly sat back down. "Thank you, nurse. Are we allowed to go in?" He asked concernedly. "He should be waking up soon but you can see him. He's right down this hall."
The corridor was a blur. 303, 304, and... Room 305! Quietly, the door opened and you were able to look inside. There Ushiwaka lay, all 6 feet 3 inches of himself on the stark white hospital bed. His knee was covered in bandages and his face was gradually becoming more and more strained. He was beginning to feel the pain from the surgery. You felt the tension grow in your chest as he began to groan, the nurse went over to him to check his vitals. "Everything looks good. Some pain is to be expected but I'm giving you some medication to alleviate some of it. You'll be monitored and the painkillers will be administered every few hours." She washed her hands and walked towards the door. "Visiting hours end at 11 so you have 45 minutes." Tendou thanked her and the two of you went inside.
It was silent minus the occasional beeps and whirrs of the room's equipment. Ushijima shifted and attempted to open his eyes before squeezing them shut again. You reached for his hand and held it gently. "It's alright Wakkun, the surgery went well and you're in recovery. Everything is going to be fine." You felt his hand relax, and despite the assurance your voice held, your eyes betrayed you as you felt more tears. "We just stopped in to say hi but we'll be back tomorrow morning. Sleep well Wakatoshi-kun." And with that Tendou, led you out the room and gingerly closed the door behind him. "Let's go home, I'll spend the night by you so you don't have to be alone."
The apartment was still too empty even with Tendou in the living room. He had long passed out on the couch but you were all alone in the bedroom. Even wearing Ushijima's jersey didn't help, the bed was still too empty. Whenever you were sad or down. You could bury your face in his chest and he would hold you. He would listen if you talked about what was bothering you, but he would always hold you. But now he's.... Tears began to fall again, staining the pillow and his jersey. Despite your sorrow, the exhaustion took over and you fell into a fitful sleep.
Morning came and with it the smell of Tendou's famous French toast. Somehow you had an appetite despite the harrowing day prior. You trudged into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. "Good morning!" Tendou chirped, elaborately flipping the toast. "I know you're probably itching to get to Ushijima but as your friend, I refuse to let you leave without a solid breakfast." He slid a plate over. The golden French toast was adorned with raspberries, almonds, and a swirl of whipped cream. Complimented by a drizzle of chocolate and powdered sugar on the corners. You blinked at the sugary meal. "Tendou, if I eat this, I am going to get diabetes." "Well," He responded, flipping another piece. "We're going to the hospital so you'll be in the right place." Upon hearing the silence he meekly asked "Too soon?" You chuckled and took a bite of the toast. "Nope, it's just the perfect time."
Back at the hospital. Ushijima had woken up for the umpteenth time this morning. Every time he got to sleep the pain would wake up back up. Especially when it was time for him to get another dose. The nurses were nice and he understood that there was a lot of pain ahead, but he had also avoided asking the question that plagued him most. Would he be able to play volleyball again? However, it turned out that he didn't need to ask because the surgeon had just come in to give him instructions for his recovery. No strenuous activity for the next 9 months. And an entire year before he could even attempt volleyball again. This was not good news. It was already obvious that he would not be able to try out for the national team this year, but this made him wonder if he'd be able to play again. He decided to give it his all in recovery just for the hope of playing again.
Weeks past. Ushijima gave 110% in physical therapy. It was nice to have him home again but he struggled so much. Walking was excruciatingly painful and seeing his pained face twisted your heart in agony. However, he seemed to have adjusted well mentally. He still watched his teammates' games and seemed pleasant enough when they came to visit, but you couldn't help but think he was taking it a little too well. After all, volleyball was his passion and his career and it had been taken so quickly. Shouldn't he be at least frustrated?
The days went on and soon 6 months had passed. He was walking better now but was still banned from strenuous activity. But since he could do things on his own around the house, he suggested that you go out with some of your friends for the evening. "Are you sure? I don't want you to get into any trouble?" He gently chuckled. "I'll be fine. You haven't done anything for yourself in so long so go out and have fun." You quickly got dressed and went out with your friends. The evening was lots of fun and within no time it was late and you headed home.
The house was silent. After all it was almost midnight and Ushijima always kept a strict nighttime ritual. Sneaking in and quietly shutting the door behind you, you placed your keys on the hook and slipped out your shoes. Suddenly, you heard a noise from the bedroom. Peeking in, you Ushijima having a night terror. "It hurts." He whimpered as tears streamed down his face. Fitfully tossing and turning, drenched with sweat. His large fists clinging to the sheets. You rushed over.
"Hey," you whispered gently, wiping his face. "It's alright. Nothing is hurting you." He trembled. He's still asleep. Hopefully it'll go away. "I'm right here with you. You don't have to worry." You continued whispering softly until you felt his body gradually relax. The tears slowed down to a trickle. It was finally over. You quietly held him and stroked his face until you also fell asleep.
When morning arrived, Ushijima woke up first, still in your arms. "What time did you get back last night?" Slowly opening your eyes, you yawned. "Good morning, I think around midnight." "Oh." The short, rather clipped reply made you replay the events of last night in your head. "I think you had a night terror last night." He sat up and avoided your gaze. "Probably, they've been somewhat frequent I suppose." Somewhat frequent? Are these a normal thing for him? "Do these happen often Wakkun?" He shifted uncomfortably, and you managed to get a glimpse of his olive eyes which were rapidly becoming moist. "A-almost every night." He whispered. The words cut through the clear morning. Almost every night? Why didn't he tell me anything? "Why didn't you sa-" But he began speaking before you could finish.
"Since I got out of the hospital, they started happening. I have nightmares of the accident almost every night. I can hear the ligaments tear and they hurt in my sleep." He took a shaky breath before continuing. "The nightmares were always worse after a rough physical therapy session. I had hoped they would go away, but they don't." A tear darted down his face. "I-I can't play volleyball anymore [Y/N]." He was facing the wall now, face beginning to soak with his sorrow. You felt your chest tighten. This had been your fear from the beginning. He seemed to have taken the news that he couldn't play volleyball anymore a little too well. And now here it was, all crashing down. Suddenly, you didn't have any words that could comfort him, so you held him as he cried. All the emotion, frustration, disappointment, and pain flowing down his face. And you cried with him.
After what seemed like an eternity, he stopped. His breathing steadied and he began to relax. Voice rough from crying, he spoke. "Thank you for supporting me through all this. It must have been hard on you as well." You were stunned again. "I'm your partner, it's what I'm supposed to do. I love you and nothing could ever change that." He gave a small smile. You took a deep breath and continued. "As for playing volleyball, we'll figure it out together. This may door may have closed for you but I'm sure we'll be able to find another. I'll always be here to support you, and all we have to do is make it to tomorrow." "Tomorrow." He echoed. You ran your fingers through his hair and smiled. "We'll make it through this one tomorrow at a time."