i come forth to shyly ask if you'd ever consider writing something between Ushotan and a fem reader? much like Valdor, i too want to be a thunderfucker!
Day 14 Year 2:
Warnings: Degrading language, rough sex, violent sex fantasies, mentions of death and killing, biting, blood, possessive language and of course breeding.
Word count:1987
You needed a break from the lab and its sterile restrictions. Day in and day out it was work, adjusting this and that, so that the beings you'd been tasked with helping to manufacture would be perfect.
It dragged at you. And you needed something else. Something unrefined and coarse, something dirty and gritty. And you knew just where to find it. The trek had been long, taking multiple hours of your time and a chunk of the brief time you'd have away from the labs. You didn't much care though, given your pursuit was anything but the plain walls of the lab and the seeming endless lines of genetic code.
The thunder warriors were a large bunch, earlier creations, an unrefined iteration of what you were creating now.
You stopped in their camp, heart hammering in your chest as you looked around. "Pardon me, sir?" You asked a passing warrior, he barely stopped to give you a second thought. "What?" He grunted, looking you up and down as if trying to decide something. "Where is the primarch Ushotan?" The warrior raised an armored fist, pointing off where a large cluster of tents were staked, their fabric rippling in the morning breeze. "Thank you." You spoke up and the warrior grunted, plodding off once more to go about whatever business he'd originally been focused on.
It wasn't recommended to come down into the camps alone as a woman, those that did were mostly coming to offer services to them behemoths.
In a way you weren't any different, but there was only one individual you'd take to bed. You could hear the moans and cries of others as the towering men took their pleasure from said women, and even a few men.
The tent was open, and you saw him sitting, drinking something with several of his fellow warriors. They were laughing as they went about a game of some sort. Evidently enjoying a day off as well.
Stopping in the entry of the tent you tried to find your voice to speak up, but in the end you didn't have to.
"Well Ushotan, looks like your little mouse has returned." The collective group of men turned to look at you. It was like being stared down by wolves.
"Good morning, Primarch Ushotan. May I have some of your time?"
The armored warrior raised his hand and motioned you over.
You came over to him eagerly as he pulled you down into his lap. "Once I win this round you're all getting the fuck out." He growled with a feral sort of grin. No one had to ask why. Not around here, you understood that this was all part of it. Coming to Ushotan to fulfill your needs. He'd never turned you away, and you let him do as he pleased with your body.
Sex with him was more like riding out a storm, often you returned to the lab hiding bruises and stiff muscles. But the ride was worth it.
The primarch did as he said he would, beating the other players handily and set them away as he crowed his victory after them. "Another time men, maybe you'll get lucky." They left you and the Iron Lord's commander alone in the tent, the flap falling shut behind them.
Ushotan's hand had been on your thigh since he pulled you into his lap. "I have not seen you in weeks, little mouse. I had thought you might have run off with one of the smaller men in your labs and left me to fend for myself with only my hand and the memory of your tight cunt." He laughed. Lifting your chin, he pressed his mouth to yours in a domineering kiss.
"I could never." You breathed as he lifted you up and set you on your feet, rising to his own to begin pulling off his armor. You joined him, tugging off your clothes as he looked you over hungrily. "Never?" He snorted. "Given how rarely I am able to see you I don't quite believe it."
"Work and my loyalty to the emperor keeps me away, I know. I would see you every day if I could."
Ushotan set aside the last piece of armor and reached for you. "You would not survive if you did. I would just fuck you into oblivion." You let him pull you in and you kissed him first this time. He groaned in deep satisfaction at the gesture. Altered as he was Ushotan was still a human man. He had needs that war could not satisfy and needs he could not express. It was not his place to ask for such things as love or devotion. Not from a woman, but if he could have. His cock twitched, and your hand reached for it. Stroking the length. "I don't know, I believe that is a death I could face happily."
Ushotan breathed a laugh, it was a deep rough sound, but you treasured it. "I am not trying to kill you, woman. Only fuck you."
"The please, my lord, fuck me." You returned and he groaned. "Don't call me that. Not when we are alone. Call me by my name." You nodded. "Of course Ushotan." "Mmm, that's better." He lifted you up, holding you by the thighs as he lined up his cock with your entrance. You trembled in anticipation, knowing that you were finally going to get off properly since the last time you saw him.
"You're shaking like a leaf." He observed, rolling his hips to brush the tip of his cock against your entrance. Teasing you with what you wanted so badly.
"I haven't cum since the last time I left your tent." You told him, body burning with need for the thunder warrior.
He grinned and nipped at the soft skin at the side of your throat. "What? Can't your fellow lab rats get you off?" He asked condescendingly, as he began to push into your cunt. "I wouldn't know, I can't even look at them that way." You panted as he pushed in inch by agonizing inch. "I can't even get myself to finish properly anymore. You've ruined me Ush, for any man other than you, and even my own self."
Ushotan pulled you down fully, groaning as he was seated in your burning heat.
"Good," he hissed, lifting your weight and letting it drop you back down, spearing you on his cock. "Your body knows who it belongs to, I would kill any other man who touched you," He growled as he followed that pattern getting more forceful each time. "Crush their skulls like eggs and watch their brains ooze out between my fingers. Then fuck you in their blood." He grabbed your thighs harder, kissing you hard and forcing his tongue in your mouth.
You should have been repulsed by the mere thought of him killing someone in such a manner and then fucking you. But you were no saint and it wasn't far off from some of the fantasies you had. Late at night when you desperately fucked your own fingers chasing a high you might not even get as you pictured him storming the lab and taking you, stealing you away out into the world to keep you. He would fuck you every night until you were round and full with his children inside you, growing strong like their father.
How often had you bitten your own pillow and cried out for him as you edged yourself near to passing out desperately trying to cum.
"Fuck, Ushotan." You whined, pressing your face into his shoulder. You'd missed him as well, his dark humor and forthwith attitude. He never lied to you or played mind games. What happened between the two of you was an honest exchange. One that made you want to be near him more.
"Come now you can do better than that. Scream my name, let every person in this camp know who's whore you are." He held you closer, jacking his hips up with enough force to bruise. "Ushotan!" You cried body shaking with need as he built you up faster than you'd ever been able to.
"Again!" He snarled as he grit his teeth, making an effort to hold back, if he didn't he might crush your bones, rupture something internally. "USHOTAN!" You screamed his name not caring if anyone else heard. It wasn't like it was a secret that you sought him out for sex. "That's a good girl, screaming my name like a bitch in heat." He rutted into you. It was a serious effort not to cause irreversible damage.
The thunder warrior had been dreaming of you since he last saw you, despite his often critical or derogatory language he still wanted you around, he wanted to have you again and again for whatever time was allotted to him, he would falter and fail eventually but he would have you as many times as possible before then. He would give you all of the pleasure that he could bestow. "Who's my good bitch? Who's my sweet little whore?" Ushotan growled as he lowered down to the ground, kneeling where he could better hold you.
"Me, I am." You moaned wantonly, "I'm your whore Ushotan."
"That's right." He locked his teeth around your shoulder and squeezed, feeling hot blood splash his tongue and tasted the sweet iron. You screamed under him, body bowing up into his as he forced an earth shattering orgasm from you.
He drew up to admire his handiwork, your blood dripping down his chin.
"What a beautiful sight." He licked up the blood still wetting your shoulder. It wasn't terribly deep, but it would probably scar. He hoped it did.
Your fingers dug into his shoulder as he kept fucking you, he needed to cum. His fist hadn't been sufficient the night before and when he went out to look for a woman all he saw were pale imitations of you. None of them had even made him hard and he'd gone back to his tent completely out of the mood.
"I'm gonna cum." He growled, "Gonna mark up your insides just like your outsides." He leaned forward until his arms touched the ground, even as his orgasm built he made sure his arms were under you, keeping you from the hard ground.
He pressed his face into your hair and was bathed in the smell of your sweat and natural scent. It sent him over the edge, filling you so much and so hard his balls ached. He could feel you tighten around him as your body gave one more climax to him and he smiled. "That's it, cumming for me like a good girl." He kissed your forehead and stayed still there until he felt the blood drip onto his arm. He got up, holding you close as he fetched the hemostat powder he kept in case he ever hurt you accidentally. He poured it onto the wound and you groaned. "Hurts." You hissed.
"Might have gone a bit deeper than intended." He pecked your lips and began cleaning the wound and wrapping it with the powder in place.
"I'm off till the day after tomorrow." You told him, he gave you a look of surprise. "Reward for making a breakthrough." He nodded. "You'll stay then?"
"If you are okay with that." You moved to his lap and he held you. "Always, little mouse." He buried his face in your hair and breathed, imagining what his life might have been like if he had been an ordinary man, having you as his wife. He wasn't sure he could even have children as he was now, altered and made into a machine of war.
Either way, he had you here with him, cuddled up in his lap and that was more than a man like him could ask for.
Since you very deep in the early imperial lore. You have any information on what thunder warrior armour looked like? I remember when I draw it it was very hard to find sources. I did a super scaled back guesstimation based on what I did find. But not easy. I saw you mention at one point their armour in a joke. Do you know what it looked like? How it was worked?
How it worked was basically power armor.
They had lasrifles and were basically glorified Imperial guard(from Birth of the Imperium). They also had pretty good strength(the Outcast Dead).
From what we can tell of Ushotan, he's a pretty good example of how their armor looked like:
(And yes, this is Valdor simping for the insane military man(Ushotan).)
Apologies for the long quote, but Thunder Warrior descriptions. They're pretty damn cool.
(The lower one is Ushotan himself)
They had helmets and vox units, we know that.
And rebreathers.
I swear, Ushotan is singlehandely carrying Thunder Warrior fashion ON HIS BACK.... like so much of Thunder Warrior armor lore comes from Ushotan's drip.
And a very cool detail I just noticed is that Ushotan might've had augments, although if this is mechanical(which they had at the time, ex the soldier in BoTI) or genecraft is debatable
And their masks.
And lastly, the armor's durability: never really listed, but we do know Valdor pierces it with ease.
Synopsis: A cold walk atop the mountain with Valdor.
Relations: Valdor x female Emperor shard
Warnings: Suicide attempt
This is relatively tame for what I write, and I wrote it in one sitting when I had roughly 20 minutes to spare. Ty for your time!
“Do you remember Ararat, my liege?”
No. No, she didn’t remember Ararat. She has never heard the name before. But she will. By the gods, she will.
The air was cold. It rattled through her lungs when she tried to breathe. The white seemed to stretch forever, like malignant bones, the wind laid bare and rattling its screams. It would rise like a frosty howl around the two of them, wailing like a soldier who had lost a limb, weeping its cries for eternity. The cold bit at her, tore at her, the snow would have frozen mortal blood solid in mortal veins. Thunder grumbles in the distance. A crack of lightning splits the sky in half, purplish white against the ghoulish grey.
His cloak was warm when he wrapped it around her. But his touch, without doubt, without even question, was unfathomably cold. Without even thinking of it, she had shrunk away.
Valdor’s grip had only tightened then. He fastened the clasp of the too-large cloak, the stench of incense and parchment wafting from the silk. A small smile, the emotionless movement perfected by a mind that could not actually smile, flashed briefly across his visage as he took her wrist, trapped it so effortlessly between his fingers and kissed the soft skin there.
“There was a Primarch once. A magnificent man. One that even I respected, in some regards.” Valdor led her, slowly and patiently, holding her up when she stumbled through the knee-high snow. The mountaintop seemed to rage against her. Well, too damn bad. She hated mountains, and she hated snow, and she was about to teach him a lesson out of spite. It was pure pettiness, but it was hers, it was one last plan she held to herself, one last wish she was certain was hers and not his, and if she was going to die, drowned limb by limb into the unseeing gold, she wished to at least pain him with it.
How had it gone so wrong? How had angels of such glorious aurite turned into nightmares wrapped in gold and crimson?
She yanked her arm away. Valdor let her go without struggle, simply rising back with a singular, elegant motion, as if he were a dancer performing a long-awaited waltz. When she stumbles over another snow-covered rock mere moments later, he was there, as if he had never left, one arm gently wrapped around her waist as he hauls her upright. This time, when she tries to pull away, his grip only tightens, as if he was defying the very storm itself.
“The snow reminds me of him. The Cataegis Primarch of the IVth legion. You watched us duel atop a mountain not so unlike this one, my liege, when the storm ended. It felt like the top of the world. We were in a deadlock when you appeared, your attention straying just for a moment to our fight. I snapped his wrist with a twisting motion, and slammed him into the ground hard enough to snap part of his spine. Your attention had departed by then, but it was enough. You still remember the frost, do you not?”
No. No. She didn’t. She couldn’t. Valdor’s hand, so gentle, so damnably gentle, placed itself under her chin. It stroked her hair, his gauntlets’ touch heavy yet tender, the jewels flashing dully through strands of hair that were quickly becoming darker, swallowed first by brown and then by black. He had not forbidden her to cut it. Out of spite, she had ordered him to cut it for her.
It didn’t matter.
The strands had grown back, with an unrelenting zeal, glossy and luxurious and flowing like ink over water. She was innocent once, she was mortal, she lived among men and walked amongst mortals, and she will never be again. She will never live again, and that truth was simply so jagged, so broken, so horrifyingly caught between her chest and her throat that it was as if something broke a little further every time she took a breath. Valdor had only quietly polished, brushed and glossed over her hair, his movements methodical and calculated, even when silent tears rolled their way down her cheeks, her vision blurred by the salt and the water but just visible enough to see the flakes of gold swirling in her pupils. Still clear enough to see herself die.
She had felt Valdor’s fingers through her hair then, braiding it carefully in an intricate style she had never seen before, but one that tugged at familiar roots she had never felt before.
Her hair. Some mewling, broken part of her(was it her dream or His? Was there a difference anymore?) instinctively felt like it should be darker. Longer. Wreathed with gold, and weighed down by a crown. But it was her hair. It was her hair, once upon a time, and she had lost it strand by strand, inch by inch, as the gold swam up through her vision and blocked out her eyes.
A rock clattered over the side of the mountain, followed by dull, distant thunder. It jolted her back to her mind, to her body, to the world that she did not rule over and should have never ruled.
Numbly, she felt herself shake her head. Valdor only raised an eyebrow, and adjusted the clasp.
“I remember the rock, my master.” Valdor was saying. His voice rose and fell like a litany, carefully retracing steps the Emperor had once guided him through, when He was a king and gods walked the earth. She felt so small against him, so tired, so far from the invincible god-warrior he had once served, but that was alright, He had returned to him, and he would shepherd Him, guide Him, protect Him, through this life and through this death till the last. “Even the rocks felt cold. It was black, and it glistened like oil whenever the sun shone. There were storms every day of that campaign, as if the heavens themselves were against us, as if the gods had conspired to strike you down, but yet you gave us the order to march. And the wind. You told me that you heard it screaming. Malcador jokingly asked that if you should live again, you would choose to enact Ararat during the summer instead, if only out of sheer annoyance from the wind.” Valdor’s smile was nothing more than a reflex. There was no humor in it, nor human emotion. “Do you remember it then, my master?”
The wind. Had it screamed then, as it screams now? Had it screamed, beneath the weight of the betrayal, wailing with the sheer horror of what it had taken? Did it scream, singing a threnody with the thunder, as the skies growl and hail shudders from overcast clouds ahead? She shivers underneath her layers. The finest climate suits had been prepared, coupled with the Custodian cloak over her shoulders, but she felt cold, so unspeakably cold that it was nearly painful.
Oh Throne. She was cold, so cold.
“Constantin?” she rasps. Her voice was not her own. It was rusty from disuse, and cracked, and weak, but yet some part of it resonated, it echoed like the tongue of a god, speaking through the plaintive shell of a mortal, just enough to hiss like a shadowy undertone. It should have been more sonorous, it should have been softer, it should have been the voice of a conqueror, it should have been the voice of a girl snatched away from her home by an angel and transformed into a god. It should have been hers, but it was His instead. She licks her lips and tries again. “Constantin.”
“Yes, my lord?” he was at her side(was he always so close?), the memory jarringly left unfinished. The hand once gently guiding her and became more insistent as he knelt down until they were eye to eye.
“I don’t remember the mountain.” she replied flatly. Her voice was weaker than a whisper. She didn’t care. She knew he’d hear it anyway. And if he didn’t, she no longer cared enough to ensure he did. She no longer believed she had the strength to stomach that voice any longer.
The cliff looked dizzyingly as she peered over the edge. She wondered if even a Custodian could survive a fall at such a height.
“I don’t remember the snow, Constantin.”
“That is alright, my liege.” He was so sweet, so sickeningly sweet, so unerringly gentle. It made her want to claw at him, to crack him, to see what could finally burrow under that invincible flesh and make him howl. It made her wonder how the Emperor broke him to make him the man he had become, how deeply He must have laid His tongs in the forge of flesh and fire.
She wondered what his screams would sound like, if he could scream at all.
“Do not trouble yourself, my liege. Your form is still young.” Of course, he could afford to wait. He had waited for ten thousand years, and he would gladly wait for ten thousand more. In that broken, delusional mind of his, it was only just, after all. He’d speak litanies of loyalty, roaring them over the screams of her brethren, he’d speak praises so numerous that they’d drown out the sobs of her family. “Your memories will return, when given due time. I can tell you about them. The preliminaries, the campaigns, the plans you undertook.”
Of course. They’d have to return. They must return. They will return, and He will live again, born out of this mortal shell under Valdor’s guidance. Valdor simply could not be, must not be, could not accept, could not live in a world where his liege has fallen forever.
The snow was no longer biting her. It seemed to have been cowed, laid low beneath the vengeful eye of its rightful master. Even the storm seems to have settled, briefly, at least for now. For the eye of the King, the Emperor, the god-sorceror.
It was so cruel, the revelation, the realization that welled up in her when she gazed dully back at him with listless eyes. The revelation that came for her, and not for him, for he would be nothing if not for his delusion. How quickly she understood the truth beneath why she had called him here, why she had suddenly finally accepted his offer to visit the mountain, when she had been delaying it, dreading it, putting it off for weeks upon months.
The edge.
The end. (And not the death).
She wondered if even a Custodes could survive a fall from this height. She wondered if it mattered anymore.
The plan had been formulating itself for weeks now, brewing like boiled flesh in a cyst, nursing itself, grieving its wounds, growing stronger, gaining weight. First she had refused to eat, then to bathe, then to move at all, all the dreary, listless days crushed into the same monotony as brass as she had sat still upon a throne she did not want and stared off into oblivion, as he occasionally knelt by her and asked for her commands while she numbly stared off in the distance, her eyes a thousand yards away. Her gaze had been lost in a time beyond time, beyond memory itself, and not even dreams could steal her away.
First it had only been how she stopped even trying to hide from him. She simply let him follow her, on her aimless, little walks aboard the massive ship that had become her only location. Then it had been how her tongue had stalled and she no longer even greeted the serfs that occasionally came by to deliver her food she did not eat, water she did not want, utensils she did not use, how she simply stared ahead, as reactive as a corpse, about as conscious to the world as the dead. Valdor had cared after her then, when even her memory had failed her, when she lay still and sullen like ash, the weight of the world upon broken shoulders, silent, painful tears trickling a cheerless trail from her eyes to her duvet. How he had lifted her up and cradled her to him, asking which stories she wished to hear, which glories she wished him to recount. Which memories that were not hers but soon will be, tales he regaled her of His conquests, of His victories and His lessons, His mantras drilled into her bones as they have been drilled into his.
She had left the world, bit by bit, husk by husk, until she felt as if she weighed no more than one of His eagles’ feathers did, frailly clinging onto the world with a whisper and a dream. It was as if she was sinking into some calm, clear, colorless water and feeling the waves close in above her, but there was no sensation of drowning, no voiceless cry in the deep. Simply the noiseless struggle in her own dreams, as she prepared herself for the final breath before oblivion.
(Did she have the strength? Did it matter any longer, when he could overpower her no matter the answer?)
It was so beautiful, up here, at the edge of the sky. She could hear the storm breathing in the clouds. It was close enough that she could close her eyes, and dream of Ararat, listening to Valdor’s words. An end. An end, just like the Thunder Warriors He(and she?) slaughtered so long ago. The final unraveling. She didn’t want to die, but was she truly living? An immortality without life, without passion, without even joy itself, was that truly living when she was little more than a corpse, kept alive through obsession?
If the Emperor had loved them, He would have never created them at all. What merciful god would create such grotesque angels?
If the Four were merciful, they would have sought Valdor, as they sought the Primarchs. They would have whisked him away, upon winds of change, tainted him with their mark, made sure He would never accept him as a servant again. They would have saved him, corrupted him, broken him, taught him what it felt like to dream, before the golden light shone again, and His dream took over his.
But he was a servant, not a master. He was not a leader. He knelt, instead of ruling, and the Emperor had sunk in His claws so deep even the Four could not pry it out. And so he was His, forevermore.
He died ten thousand years ago. And somewhere, inside that twisted, broken Palace that was a mind, His dog was still waiting loyally at the door, waiting for Him to return.
He was kneeling beside her now. She had never even heard him move. With infinite reverence, he cups her features, admiring the black strands falling over his gauntlets, the golden eyes - so broken, so gorgeous, so His - staring back at him.
“It was the end of the Unification Wars, my liege. And the start of your rule. The Imperium was born that day, your coronation happened atop that bloodstained snowfield, when Malcador held up that laurel, and crowned you King. How could you forget how I, the first of your Custodes, knelt first and rose last, when the ceremony ended?”
So careful. So gentle as not to hurt her.
“Tell me about them.” a small, cruel smile had found its way onto her face. She was no longer looking at him, instead smiling serenely, blankly staring out upon the sky. The mountain truly was beautiful. It was such a shame this was where she would die. She should have felt something then. A sense of guilt, perhaps. A moment of horror for what she had become, for taking advantage of something so deeply broken into him that it was written into his very bones. Obedience was carved into his blood, seared into his marrow. He would know no other way but to obey.
“The Unification Wars?” Valdor asks, the question poised so effortlessly, head tilted like a loyal dog, perfectly prepared to obey his master’s every word.
It would be almost easier, she thought, if he had been a crueller man. Easier to break him, easier to hate him, easier to gaze upon that perfect, immaculate features and wonder what if he had lost those duels. If he had been taught to be mortal, what his screams would’ve sounded like, what sounds of pain he might wheeze out when his perfect, immaculate dancer’s grace falters and he learns, he learns the price for immortality.
He was never meant to love.
Not for the first time, she wonders if he can feel pain. If she’ll even care, if it’ll even matter. For a creature who loved no one but his master, would it even be a sin?A sin, to teach him what it meant to fear? To taste the copper tang of terror, to twist the knife in him as he had twisted the knife in her. And to die, exalted, knowing she would have hurt him, knowing she brought down a demigod.
You can’t reason with a mad dog. You can’t plead with someone who knows they’re right. You can’t gaze into the eyes of Constantin Valdor and expect to see reason back, when his master was right in front of him and alive, so sickeningly alive he would rather kill than forget Him again.
Would he even mourn this time? Did he even know what mourning felt like? She had an inkling that he did, however twisted it may be. Because, for him, the tale isn't over yet, the tale must not be over. His Emperor is not dead, it cannot be, he cannot be, in a world without the Emperor, it simply is not possible. Without Valdor, the Emperor could not lead His Custodes, but without Him, the Custodes could not live.
“No.” she replies. “The mountain. Tell me of them.” The smile that stretched across her face felt nothing like her. It did not belong to this life. It was too old, too heavy, too sad and too cruel for a face that was once joyous and wide with mischief. She had an inkling of the words Valdor was about to say, the bitter, treacherous words she would weep to hear, and regret ever having forced him to speak.
“The Thunder Warriors.” she murmured. She had closed her eyes again by then. The plan was formulating, inking itself together with the same mindlessness of crawling, squirming things beneath the earth. And she didn’t want to see what the ground would look like when she fell. She didn’t want to see what it felt like to die a second time. This was only a distraction, a charade, a pitiful illusion built by a mind almost broken. There was no one here but a madman, a broken girl, and the ghosts of the storm calling out its mournful rage overhead.
“Tell me what became of them. Of that Primarch you spoke so highly of. And no lies.” she sighs, and the voice that whistles out of her is too old, too broken. She brushes his hand away. This time, he doesn’t even insist on remaining. “Tell me what happened on Ararat. I want to hear the truth from your lips.”
If there had been anything left of her heart, she might have mourned for him. For what he had become, living not for himself but for another. Living His life for Him. And when He died, what could become of him? What could become of him except to endure? When he had slaughtered brothers, lovers, children upon the snowfields, betrayed loyalists and watched life fade from their eyes, all in the name of Him, what could be left of him if not to serve?
He served, and loyalty was its own reward. Loyalty, unyielding, unbreaking, even in death his duty would not end.
Valdor tilts his head like a confused dog. “What good will it do now?”
She utters a dry, raspy laugh. It had no inflection within it, no actual human emotion.
“I command you, Valdor.” she spoke. There was nothing behind it, nothing even when the command hurt him. It stirred nothing but a deep, dull ache and the brief knife of guilt, which was quickly surpassed by the lasting numbness that did not seem to leave her bones. “I command you to speak of them. On Ararat. What happened on Ararat?”
She turns from him, walking slowly, and without care. She needed to be on a ledge. Distantly, thunder shrieks, and the storm crashes down. Lightning briefly illuminates her features, skin half-tanned, black hair flowing and golden eyes peering through the brume, and in that radiant flare of lightning she looked positively divine, a half-god caught on earth, if not for the weary, haunted gaze of a hunted animal. Her shoulders were hunched, her movements withered, as if her bones could no longer support her weight. She walked without a singular care in the world, and Valdor trailed immediately afterwards. She knew to jump was no longer an option. Even the stormclouds seemed to mock her. It was foolish, so foolish, she knew. He could not let her die. He would move faster than she could even think, he could catch her, snatch her around her waist and carry her to a safe distance before she could even advance an inch towards the edge.
She could not die here. He would not allow her to die.
And they both knew that.
Voicelessly, soundlessly, she gazes up upon the stormladen sky. Its grey dances across her golden irises, the stormwind playing with her hair. Thunder crashes, and she feels herself scream back, wordlessly, soundlessly, without even conscious thought. Dully, she knew she was raging, screaming, that her mind was seizing at the clouds and tearing at them, begging them to save her, but physically she made not even a single move. Her body was frozen, the snow pelting her shoulders, Valdor’s cloak swirling from the wind. She felt frozen, too. Her mind was no longer wreathed with such self-pity it once had, it was churning, clawing, raging like a caught rabbit in a trap, desperately wishing the ground would open up and swallow it whole, not as a kind of freedom, but as a final form of spite to the hunter.
Thunder crashes around the two of them. Neither of them move. The edge was close, so dizzyingly close that she could feel the wind gusting around her. Valdor was watching her closely, the same way a starved wolf may watch a weakened deer.
When Valdor finally speaks, unable to resist the bluntness of her command, his eyes were still distantly focused on the memories of Ararat. And his voice was passionlessly dull, carefully kept neutral and utterly without pity.
“I slit his throat.” he confesses dully, flatly, without even a hint of inflection. “The Primarch. I slit his throat on Ararat, from ear to ear, then from ear to clavicle. I only stopped when I felt bone scraping against the edge of my knife.”
Surprisingly she laughed, and the sound was garbled, as grim and as dry as bones. “I suppose you killed him then?” she asked. One more step. One more step and she would be at the edge. He would not let her. He would move faster than the earth could drag her down anyways. But it did not matter. Slowly, incredulously, she could feel herself smiling. It was going to be alright. She could feel it in her bones, the static, the storm. Even the snow seemed to be on her side. For a moment, she felt like a god, standing at the top of the world, the conquered earth groveling beneath Him, knowing that even the elements would fall beneath His gaze.
She could taste the ichor then, sweet and lifeless and pouring from the sky along with the snow, the charge in the sky and the thunder. The vengeance it held. The sheer rage, an echo of her own. She would rule them. She did not want to rule. She would rule, for one singular moment in her wretched life, she would rule, and she would hurt him, as he had hurt her. For the serfs he terrorized, for the Sisters he slaughtered, for the martyrs he first betrayed and then hung out to die. All in her name. All for her wishes. She no longer wished to wish. She no longer wished to reign.
Let her abdicate the throne of skulls. Just once. Just once, she prayed.
“No.” Valdor shook his head. He was already moving, one hand reaching out to grasp her arm and drag her back before she could approach the edge. “It would have been a kinder fate if he had died then. It would have been a kinder fate if-”
“-if you had granted him an honorable death.” she finished for him. She spoke softly, plaintively, as if this was a comfort. She had turned her face a little, just enough to see him, just enough to see his elegant features illuminated by the storm. To gaze upon him, one last time. The way he held himself, like a dancer, his lean features accentuated by the lightning as the thunderbolt carved the sky open and struck the ledge beside her. The way his auramite had shuddered from the lightning as he had, for the first time in her memory, stumbled, his gait not utterly perfect before the divine rage. The first word she had heard him say that was not perfectly calculated.
The lightning snaps the ledge like bone.
The surprised intake of breath she had uttered, a squeal that was nearly a gasp as the rock beneath her feet had caved in, and then crumbled as she had desperately hoped, the weathered stone no longer capable of supporting its own weight bending and breaking and shattering as the lightning arced through it, the smite separating the ledge like the same way Valdor had carved through that serf. That poor, poor serf who had slipped her a kiss upon her request. It was little more than a peck, that poor thing. And he hadn’t even been able to scream when Valdor separated his bones like paper.
In a silent vow to him, in a wordless vow to them all, the corpses he laid so she could climb atop her throne, she promised she wouldn’t scream as she fell.
Grimly, lips drawn in a tight line, she only felt the distant thunder as she descended like a one-winged eagle, her face utterly expressionless, lightning briefly dancing sparks against her hair as if in reverence.
Valdor’s cloak, still wrapped around her, its silk as crimson as spilled blood, unfurled around her as she fell.
Distantly, from somewhere beyond the mountaintop, thunder roared.
~~~~
It was warm, when she finally awoke. She muttered something, tried to turn, and decided to burrow deeper against the warmth instead. There was a rumble, a purr-like sound, and the slow, drifting scent of incense as one titanic hand came up to rest against her hair.
With careful reverence, it adjusted the master’s laurel.
“Welcome back, by lord.” the voice purred. “You expressed quite the interest in the Cataegis Primarch.”
She groaned. Golden irises flickered back and forth, as if in distress, beneath her lids. Valdor’s other hand reached up to stroke through her hair, careful not to upset the laurel.
“I had thought you would have recognized him, my lord. It was, after all, his grave that I showed you that night upon the mountain.”
He makes a long, slow chuckle, almost like amusement, if he had been capable of it. “I had expected you’ve greeted him already, my master. You were standing atop his bones.”
Somewhere, distantly, thunder growled. And without even being conscious of it, she shivered, and tried to burrow closer to his warmth.
Ushotan is one head shorter than Valdor, who is a foot or so taller than the average Custodes, which implies either Ushotan's exceptionally tall for a Thunder Warrior, or Thunder Warriors are the height of Custodes.
Also, if he's more muscular than Valdor, this implies either Valdor's a twink, or Ushotan's just built like a brick shithouse.
I absolutely loathe this knowledge.
Ushotan was both a big motherfucker and built like a brick shithouse. It's not really wild knowledge.
That said, all Custodes are twinks in the Emperor's eyes (he doesn't actually know what "twink" means, despite Malcador's yelling and diagrams).
