Horses have taught me a lot in life. From the time I was younger I was handling beasts that were 10 times my weight. I learned how to control beasts that could easily have trampled me from the age of 5 years old. Pain became familiar, physical and emotional. I watched death firsthand at 12 years old, saying goodbye to our beloved broodmare who was finally at peace at 36 years young. I got up the next day and went to a Pony Club rating, passing my D1 and D2 with ease. I learned how blood feels when it’s dripping down your hands at 13, when the horse of my dreams came home from the racetrack with a completely severed tendon. My heart learned how to beat for something else as I watched him decline, almost losing him on multiple occasions. Two years later he was finally able to be turned out with a bandage on. Today he is finally getting well enough to seem almost sound. He will never be sound to ride. I’ve been humbled more times than not, I’ve flown over 3′6″ overs on horses older than myself, and I’ve taught my own young OTTB what to do over cross country fences. I’ve made exponential progress and I’ve seen rapid lapses of knowledge. I’ve met goals months before time, and I’ve completely changed them when things happen. I’ve handled $250,000 horses and horses who should be dead. I’ve fought with owners over injuries and ridden horses fresh off stall rest based on orders. I’ve ridden (and fallen from) many bucks. I’ve feared water complexes and I’ve overcome it. I’ve lost count of my falls, and I’ve hung up ribbons on my walls. My bedroom is a mess of pictures and ribbons of all different colors. I’ve been sitting on a horse when they freaked out and went in a bucking fit, and I’ve ridden a horse that was supposed to be crazy. I’ve felt what a neurological horse does when they have a spell, and I’ve felt what an Intermediate Eventer feels like in a half pass. I’ve had the highs and the lows, I’ve almost quit riding altogether, and I’ve had my passion for riding rekindled when I was at my lowest lows. I’m 17 and crazy, battling hormones and myself as I try to “find myself”. I’m not sure where I’d be without horses, but I know that they've saved me a lot of heartache. Where other 17 year old girls are smoking pot and drinking on the weekends, sleeping with a new guy every night, I’m waking up early to feed creatures that don’t speak my language, I’m riding a young horse who can jump the moon but doesn’t know what a trot is, and I’m battling whiplash after failing to ride my first rear.
I don’t know what I’d do without horses, but I know that I’m grateful for the skills they’ve taught me. I don’t take bull from anyone, and I’m a very direct person. I know that you’ll never receive if you don’t ask, and that when you make a mistake you must pay for it. I’m nowhere near perfect, but I’m doing the my best most days. Lessons are hard to learn in life, but if there’s one that I know well- it’s that I’ll always love the feeling of running cross country just as much as anyone else. I’ll always look in the eyes of a Thoroughbred and see myself. And I’ll always be grateful for the people and horses who have made me who I am today.