“The fear,” Ashswagg says, practically purring the word, “the conquering of fear that you three have just shown me gives me an idea.”
Parrot grits his teeth behind the microphone. He can't help but feel annoyed at all the unnecessary dramatics here. I mean, he'd heard this line, what, twice now? Man…time travel really gave him a headache. Someone should’ve handed him a medal for patience instead of a crown. If Theo were standing here, he’d probably have already cart-bombed this place down to bedrock.
Unfortunately Ashswagg still wasn’t done talking. Tragic.
“You three would be really useful in the Mafia.”
And there it is. The stupidest line he remembers hearing once upon a time. He can’t help but grimace.
No one would try this, in the future. In his time. Not anyone who knew him anyway. Becoming Unstable’s King had at least afforded him that.
The problem was, this was the old Ashswagg. Invis Mafia Ashswagg. This Ash didn’t know the things Parrot had been through. Or that the Parrot standing in front of them at this very moment had already been through all Ashswagg and his Invis Mafia could throw at him, and still Parrot had won.
Meaning this little recruitment speech was just about the most pointless proposition one could try. And honestly, Parrot had just about had enough of it.
Being thrown back in time to the days of working in the Capital City mines under the Mafia’s and Reddoons corruption was already bad enough. Like some twisted rerun of one of Parrot’s worst moments. The worst part being he hadn’t even been early enough to stop Luigi from dying. Instead he’d opened his eyes to Reddoons giving him some stupid spiel about material value. And now he had to stand here and listen to Ashswagg’s dumb recruitment speech all over again?
Nah. He’s done done.
“Who the hell do you think you are!?” He spit at Ash. To his right, Wifies seemed to cringe, and Parrot did his best not to look at them. Instead he tried rolling his eyes. “You know what, screw it, even freaking Lettuce had a better speech than this. This is just sad, bro.”
Wifies was shooting him a look now. Parrot could practically feel the confusion and unease radiating off their player character.
A moment later a private message pops up confirming that.
Which Parrot promptly decides to ignore.
There really wasn’t time to unpack all his trauma right now. (And preferably, there never would be). So if Wifies looked pained at the life-threatening crisis that Parrot had once again walked himself into? Good. A little payback for the months of emotional hell, which his friend had literally blown up in his face for, was justified.
Parrot can at least thank whatever Minecraft gods exist, because for a moment Ash actually paused his nonsense to consider him. Probably, because Ash was taken aback by the absolute vehemence in which Parrot talked, but that was semantics.
However, unfortunately for everyone present, the Minecraft gods clearly didn’t account for Ash’s level of self-absorption and ability to barrel past warning signs. Despite even the Invis players catching on and giving quick glances at each other, Ash still continued to keep this pointless conversation rolling.
“I can offer you a deal. A place here.” Ash tried again, clearly trying to make some dramatic point. “You guys conquered your fear, to steal those diamonds, to free all those people you wanted to free. That’s worth something.”
Ridiculous.
Parrot isn’t listening anymore. He’s too busy mentally calculating that he has about five seconds before he either snaps completely or starts bashing his head against his keyboard.
Apparently Ash didn’t get the memo. He’s still deep into his two-bit salesman’s pitch.
“Join me. I’d even promote you instantly.” He says and looks at the Diamond trims standing behind him. “You could be right there.”
Parrot makes the executive decision that he, in fact, did not want another headache later.
Snapping it is then.
“And why the hell do you think I care about you or your dumb Mafia, Ashswagg.”
Ash stares at him.
And Parrot revels in the feeling of taking the wind out of his sails.
But the brief moment of silence doesn’t last.
“Uh, Parrot,” Dean whispers to him. “I know we aren’t joining and all, but… maybe we should, uh, not yell at the guy who has a bunch of netherite players with maces? Maybe?”
And yeah, Parrot does feel a bit bad for dragging Dean into this mess. It isn’t his fault he’s about to witness a historical crash-out.
Meanwhile, Wifies has clearly noticed there was something very wrong with Parrot. He keeps glancing frantically between the enemies Parrot has chosen to actively piss off, and Parrot himself.
But it’s not like that hadn’t been a recurring theme in the past.
Wifies can cope.
“Nah, im done with this.” Parrot grits out, half to himself.
And suddenly Wifies steps directly between him and Ash, with Wifies clearly positioning himself as a body shield between them.
“Parrot, please, just calm down.”
Several more messages are filling up Parrots screen.
Okay, maybe Wifies wouldn’t be coping after all. Parrot thinks. Maybe he never could…
His chest aches.
Wifies eyes are staring into him.
Parrot keeps his eyes pointed away.
Parrot honestly just wasn't sure when exactly Wifies had fully committed to the whole Director persona.
Had it already started by now?
His throat tightens.
Don’t think about it.
Right now, his priority is stepping around Wifies and walking just far enough forward to force him out of his line of sight.
If he can just keep Wifies out of his field of view, he can keep pretending.
So Parrot takes a few steps closer to Ash instead. A move which Ash tilts his head at; perhaps thinking Parrot was going to be more reasonable. As if that would ever happen.
“I could make it worth it, for all of you.” Ash says, leveling his voice at the three of them, Wifies and Dean included.
Logically, Parrot knows that he’s probably about to dig a hole for himself. And yes, he knows that Wifies probably thinks he’s attempting another moral suicide mission. But he doesn't really care about Wifies’ opinion on that right now.
At least yelling at Ash had been a better distraction.
“Why the heck would we join your sinking ship?” Parrot scoffs. “Like bro, you do know what server we're on right now. Your dumb Mafia isn’t going to last.”
That seems to finally hit something, because Ash all but drops the recruitment tone and finally switches to the good ol fashioned threats.
“Watch the way you talk.” Ash says, and one of the Diamond players steps forward. “I can always force you to join, you know.”
“Your delusional bro.”
Ash laughs.
“Oh Parrot, you think I don’t get it?” Ash sneers. “I’ve got you and your little entourage all figured out.”
“No. You really don’t.” Parrot says, before his voice goes to a quiet whisper. “Not that I did either…”
Ash doesn’t seem to hear him.
It doesn’t matter.
Wifies was standing in front of him again…
Staring…
“I think you'll find I can be very persuasive.” Ash mocks. “Fear is an excellent motivator. Control someone’s fear, and you control them.”
“Controlling people…” Parrot echoes, giving Wifies a small side glance. “What an original idea. No one would have thought of that.”
Wifies is still staring directly at him.
Parrot can’t breath.
Looking at them had not been the smartest plan on his part.
Damn it.
Parrot snaps his crosshairs back onto Ash, who has begun talking again.
But Parrot can’t hear anything.
Doesn’t want to feel anything.
Multiple private messages are now popping up onto his screen.
Parrot looks away.
Looks for a reprieve.
However, rage-baiting Ash is the only thing here that has proved to be a distraction.
Priorities.
“Ash,” Parrot starts,“have you just never considered the ticking time bombs that live on this server? They are not going to be controlled.”
“They will. I know what they fear.”
“Oh come on bro. Do you actually think that fear matters to most of them?” Parrot insists. “Seriously, just how long do you think it will take for Spoke to absolutely wreck your operation from the inside out?”
“He will be handled.” Ash says, shrugging him off.
“No shot.” Parrot laughs. “I give it week before he starts living in your walls, just waiting for the chance to stop you. Like everyone else on this server will be.”
“You think just anyone can stop me? Stop us? This?” Ash swoops his character around, as if making a point. “There is no one capable of that.”
Too bad for Ash he’d missed the mark. Parrot was a much better shot.
“No. What I know, for a fact, is that the second Eggchan so much as pops a totem to one of your guys, your whole thing goes up faster than you can say ‘Mace attack.’”
And that seems to rattle Ash somewhat.
“We have guards for that sort of thing.”
“Oh yeah?” Parrot tilts his head at the trims. “For how long?”
“What?”
“Because I’m willing to bet that half your Diamonds are just waiting for the chance to turn on you.” Parrot emphasized, staring down the two Diamond trims behind Ash.
Parrot half wondered if one of them was Quackeinstein…
“What the hell are you talking about?” Ash rebuttals. “Killing me just gets them all killed.”
Parrot laughs.
“And when has mass server casualties ever actually mattered to Spoke or Wemmbu?”
“Clown will take care of-“
“Oh, don’t even get me started on Clown!” Parrot snaps. “Are you kidding me, bro? You think that just because he’s with you now, that this is gonna hold his attention forever? No way. Not a chance.”
“I have an army of-“
“Oh right! The army!” He takes a few steps towards Ash. “Because that totally works against an Orbital Strike Cannon. Yeah. Tell that one to Zam. I’m sure he’d agree.”
“Can you stop interrupting me!?” Ash snaps at him, before suddenly going very calm.
To Ash’s credit, he at least has the threatening aura thing down.
“Tell me, Parrot, do you just not care about the lives of your friends here?” Ash says looking at Wifies and Dean. “Because if you really want to walk out of this alive, you should take this.”
There’s a pause, and Ash throws Parrot an invisibility potion.
Parrot knows Wifies is probably about to spam CoinMonke to trigger the enderpeal stasis. If he hasn't already…
Parrot tilts his head slowly.
Might as well.
“Buddy, I’m the biggest bird on this server.” He laughs. “I really don't give a damn.”
Then Parrot chucks the invisibility potion directly at Ash’s face.
All at once the trimmed players pull out their weapons and converge on him.
One of the Diamonds rushes Parrot.
There’s the pop of an ender pearl landing.
And then-
A minecart instantly explodes next to the Diamond player.
Parrot blinks.
The sheer force had knocked the Diamond away so badly they’d gone flying straight up into the air. Poor bro probably didn't have blast protection.
“What the hell?!” Ash screams. “WHAT WAS THAT?!”
And suddenly a familiar voice cuts cleanly through the chaos.
“Correction,” Theo says calmly from a crater of his own making, “I’m the Biggest Bird!”
And for half a second, nobody processes it.
Then another pearl lands and instantly a minecart explodes next to where Ash had just been standing.
Farther away Parrot sees a fishing rod get pulled. And in the next instant both the rod and Ash are gone.
Unlucky, Parrot thinks.
Around Parrot, the world has turned into explosions. He knows it’s barely been a few moments, but already the terrain is covered in holes.
Any of the remaining Gold trims are scattered, desperately trying to not get blown to smithereens or pop their totems. Meanwhile, the two Diamonds are actively chasing Theo down around the courtyard.
Which has started to imitate Swiss cheese.
Next to him, Wifies sounds like he’s shouting something, but Parrot is completely still.
This hadn’t happened the first time.
Theo shouldn’t even be here.
“You know, not wearing any armor is a pretty dumb move on your bosses part!” Theo taunts. “Especially when I’m around!”
Parrot feels like he can breath again.
“You all should be thanking Parrot.” Theo laughs. “That shot probably would have killed your boss if they hadn’t gotten an invis potion to the face.”
“Theo…” Parrot whispers.
“Hilarious though! Nice shot Parrot!” Theo calls back to him.
And then suddenly Theo is right next to Parrot, geared to the nines, and dropping some extra gear in front of him.
“Come on Parrot, start running!” Theo says imploringly. “How am I supposed to protect the King of Unstable if he just stays standing there?!”
And all at once it clicks.
This is Theo. His Theo. Future Theo.
Which sucks because Parrot realizes exactly what is about to happen.
He whips around, and for the first time dares to look directly at Wifies; who is now staring downwards without moving. Parrot doesn't have to guess that Wifies must be rapidly signaling CoinMonke to pull the stasis.
Which means Parrot doesn't have much time.
“I’m about to get ender-pearled!” he blurts out. “Theo! Meet me! Northern Council!”
Wifies head snaps up towards Parrot. “Parrot what is going on!? Where is-? No, who even is that?”
But Parrot tunes everyone else out, still staring at Theo, who is already spamming more TNT minecarts like a man possessed.
“You got it!” Theo calls back in between another explosion. “I’ll meet up with you soon!”
it’s kinda funny whenever ferre and theo pvp on unstable because they’re just. fully dicking around irl. the best pvper on unstable is getting bodied by frickin eggchan’s slow falling arrows. theo stops carting wemmbu halfway through the courthouse fight. egg and wato somehow hold their own against ferre long enough for clown vs wemmbu to go through several restocks.
Listen, I need the King of the Unstable Smp to have a reunion with the worlds deadliest Court Jester! Please! I’m begging!
I mean, Clown is essentially the de facto ruler of the Nether Dimension. Which means Parrot, King in the Overworld (and kinda sorta The End), would probably need to have some sort of negotiations…With the same guy who locked him up. (twice). and tried to kill him on several occasions.
Plus Clown would absolutely clock how much Parrot has changed too. The ‘look how far you’ve come/look at all the ones you’ve left behind’ would be insane.
Like what are the chances that Clownpierce doesn’t know that Wifies is dead dead? He may even just rage bait Parrot anyway as a power move.
Just imagine if Clown walks up to Parrot and is like, ‘wait, where is your escape room friend?’ And Parrot is forced to speedrun his PTSD Trauma response to be like ‘yeah…he died.’
And all the while Theo is standing at Parrot’s side like a final boss health bar, absolutely chomping at the bit to have a go at Clown the second he gives him any opportunity.
Plus Ferre probably doing some high level math, calculating the odds of the base getting blown up by Parrot & friends again; and also not so subtlety cursing the universe for putting the servers best TNT minecarter next to the guy who already blew up the base once.
The amount of subtle rage baiting would be worth it’s weight in gold and I need to see it!
I would like to personally thank Deputy_Ace for befriending Parrot despite the well documented mortality rate and promptly dying in Theo's place. Your sacrifice has preserved the cartwings dynamic and we thank you for your service. o7 Legend
The cinematic parallel reveal between Parrot and Theo, in that both have been shaped by someone close to them who decided they knew ‘what’s best’ for them.
Story wise, there is absolutely no way that Parrot would ever try to bring Wifies back himself. (Man was traumatized).
But it could happen unintentionally.
I know there have been many theories about the potential gold block revival in the Underworld. So for the sake of argument, let’s say that it’s possible to revive someone through glitches or server exploits etc.
Parrot would still not try to bring Wifies back.
But he would definitely try to bring back an innocent player…say…someone like Spepticle.
Depending on how the revival works, it could be possible. For example, if the method is a multiple person method (such as taking everyone off of hardcore for a limited amount of time and/or it let’s all players who previously died back on), then I think Wifies would have a good chance to come back.
Basically, all Wifies would have to do is rejoin during the time when the revival is used.
But to be honest, I do not think this method would be completely narratively satisfying. Wifies already left the server in a very narratively satisfying way. Story wise, it was perfect.
So if Wifies comes back, then I believe he’d come back with a purpose.
Which brings me to what I think would be the best chance for why a Wifies return could happen.
To stop Parrot. / To ‘save’ him.
Let me explain.
We have never fully witnessed Parrot hitting their breaking point. Time and time again they have been forced into traumatic situation after traumatic situation. Betrayal after betrayal. And yet, we still have not fully seen it. They’ve gotten close, but never went over the edge. They’ve never fully lost their moral core.
However, I do think it’s possible that it could happen in the future.
Parrot seems to have changed some after Wifies death. It’s subtle. But it’s there. And while Parrot has not fully strayed from their core morals yet, they have become a little colder (killing without remorse to further their goals), more calculating (trapping a player and forcing an identity reveal), as well as more desperate to keep the people they care about safe. (Willing to do whatever it takes). Sound familiar? It should. It’s very similar to the thought process Wifies had.
In another words, Parrot has actually strayed into a moral grey area a lot more than they did prior to Wifies death.
I believe that if Parrot were to ever actually hit their breaking point and ended up losing themselves or their morals, this would justify a Wifies return.
But I still don’t think that it would be Parrot who brings Wifies back.
I think it would be Theo.
You see, there have been scenes where Parrot has supposedly explained to Theo about what happened with Wifies. But we never actually see exactly what Parrot told Theo.
And more importantly, to quote Parrot:
‘When people ask me about who Wifies was, I’m going to remember you as the Wifies I used to know. The Wifies that cared about other people and was kind to everyone. The Wifies that gave me this spyglass.’
Based on that promise, it’s very possible that Parrot did not tell Theo the whole story. And Theo only knows about Parrots kinder version of Wifies.
That is to say, if Parrot themselves is ever about to go down a dark path, Theo might believe that Wifies could be someone to help bring Parrot back to themselves. And if there is a revival method, he may bring Wifies back for an ultimate team up to help Parrot.
And, in a way, Theo would probably be right. Because Wifies is someone who knows Parrot to his very core; is someone that knows what it’s like to go over that edge, and was even convinced by Parrot, in the end, to turn it all back around.
Theo, who remained at Parrot’s side through thick and thin, even in moments of disagreement, would, alongside Wifies, have the greatest chance of reaching Parrot.
Not to mention, it would just be incredibly poetic. Just picture Theo now standing in what was once Parrots shoes, and Wifies having to teach Parrot what Parrot taught him about the spyglass.
