@uvher for an unprompted Cornelia
Cornelia stared unseeing at the water full in front of her. She was back at the Lighthouse but her mind told her that it was all false. Any second now, the rug would be pulled from under her and she would be back in Solas's cruel prison.
And then it came. She felt a prickle on the back of her neck, she was no longer alone. Cornelia's breath caught in her throat in a strangled hitch when she turned to look.
Lucanis.
"No." Cornelia's arms wrapped around her middle, protection for what remained of her shattered heart and mind. "No, please, not this."
He stood there and for the moment was silent, like a ghost. In a second he'd say something and it would rip into her. She had led him to his death. He'd died alongside Harding on Tearstone, she was certain. The last thing she remembered before being pulled into the Fade was running to him as he lay motionless on the ground. Then he'd been a voice in her ear, their final catastrophic argument looping again and again.
"I thought I'd never see you again."
A sob burst out unbidden. What right did she have to that? Why would he be relieved - happy, even - to see her? Cornelia hugged herself tighter as if she could stuff her tears, and her grief, and her regrets back inside herself with enough willpower.
"I'm sorry!" She had failed. The words ripped from her throat and once the dam had broken there was no stopping it. "You were right. I should have told you from the beginning who I was. I was scared. I was scared of you. I was scared of Spite. I thought--I thought that if I kept you away then maybe things would be better but I couldn't even do that! Maker, I'm the biggest idiot in Thedas. I let you in when I knew it would hurt us both. And--and then I was scared if you knew then you'd never look at me again. You deserved the truth. You deserved it the most. I hurt you. I hurt you and I was too stupid to just say I was sorry because I was scared I'd lose you forever. I should have trusted you to understand."
She was probably making no sense. Did it matter when it wasn't really him she was talking to? He was just a regret that Solas had conjured, the one that weighed on her mind the most. If he wasn't real then she perhaps should just be totally honest.
Cornelia forced herself to look up from the floor where she had been addressing this and instead meet his eyes. "Even if this isn't real...I need to say it because I never got the chance. I love you, Lucanis. I love you and all I ever did was hurt you."











