Don’t get me wrong, I love my family
Yep, pretty crappy way to start a new post after a like 4 year hiatus. Factor in two kids, a often times demanding and uncertain job, a major move and first home purchase....Oh and this thing called Covid 19 and yeah, the title isn’t so bad with perspective.
I really do love my family but these are truly trying times. What got me thinking about coming back to my Tumblr account was really needing a place to vent, that was easy to maintain, but also to just hash sometimes the crazy ass thoughts and daydreams I have. Also PMS makes me a little loco emotionally.
After an evening at my mom and father in law’s house for his birthday and to recognize Isabel’s (our 4 year old) first day back to daycare in a year, I had a mini f* up. Isabel was overly sensitive on our ride back...meaning she was ugly crying for no real reason. Diego has been hurting and had some gut problems the last few days, not ideal, but “grouchy” IS his new middle name (a topic for another day, sort of). I felt like Isabel needed some special time...it was a big day, and at four years old in a middle of a pandemic, emotions are hard to process! I agreed to rub her with lotion, do her nails and get her some “juice water”^.
Not so smart mom brings the red dyed water (fruit punch) upstairs and accidentally spills it on our cream colored carpet. Needless to say, Diego was grouchy (many other ways to express his attitude at that moment but I will be kind). Nails were done, but now Diego is angry cleaning and Isabel is complaining again because she wants to do a sleepover in Cristians room. And Cristian is lost in his head ignoring my instruction to brush his teeth and deciding he will parent Isabel and give her his own options to rectify the situation (he is only 8 by the way and barely remembers to wipe his own butt! Sorry that was below the belt).
When this all came to a head for me was when Diego disappeared to bed, I gave in to the sleepover, and then proceeded to clean leftover hair from Cristians haircut earlier [of course I had just deep cleaned the same bathroom the day before], I switched over laundry, made my sons lunch, swapped out the old for new ink on our printer, checked work emails, prepared backpacks and the logistics for Cristians first day back to school tomorrow. All this within the span of about 40 minutes and while the rest of the family drifted off.
I had a moment where I walked into each of their rooms and physically ensured their well-being but mentally cussed them out! So, I really do love them...and I know 75% of the time my labor and stress is my own fault, but there are days where I just don’t like them very much. I said it! Hmph! Tomorrow is a new day...and one with both kids at school, thankfully!
^juice water is just a squirt of Flavor (MiO) into her water...not some special ambient laced concoction to get her to sleep...I wish! Kidding, but not kidding😒