interviewer: so what are your opinions on the organization, it's members, your bosses or even black hat himself.
Emilia: it's not that bad really, we get three square meals a day, asides from snacks and stuff, we live in a big haunted house and mother poltergeist takes care of us, and uh. . . black hat just tells us to do something and we do it and basically that's it. . . pretty much.
Los Tornados: it's getting quite annoying to hear how much my colleagues talk about those infernal heroes. oh they've ruined my plans again this and he's destroyed this and he's just foiling my plans that and she won't return my calls this, *SIGH* it's getting quite frustrating with me really.
Flamme: oh. . . i remember this one time when i was suppose to go over to Elflora's forest and like lure her into a trap, so i went over and i was like "ah! ha ha! i'm flamme! i'm gonna destroy you and your forest!" ha ha yeah it was really fun and cool but uhh. . . yeah she kicked my butt and i had to go back and uh black hat was pretty ticked but you know i thought it was pretty funny but he didn't so. . . yeah kinda. . . that's it.
Metauro: huh? black who?
interviewer: uh black hat, he's the one who you work for to help sell things to villains after he blackmailed you by taking your wife and kids hos-
Metauro: (thinking as interviewer talks then his eyes bulge and interrupts) OH YEAH YEAH YEAH right right right. . . uh. . . i don't know him that much.
valdoomite: um she hits me. . . a lot.
jamo (a little dejected): well he hates me, i don't know why but whenever i try to talk to him, he keeps throwing things at me and slapping me and. . . *sniffles* (puts hand on his head) i just want to be loved *crys a little*. (valdoomite awkwardly sidesteps and then awkwardly pats jamo's side).
chimera: . . . (in deep voice) i want to kill him (she narrows her eyes). . . (then switches to normal voice) but then i kinda wanna kill everyone i know or meet since i got all these killer animal instincts in me, so yeah.
interviewer: what do you do in your free time when you're not being a villain?
(epsilon is leaning back in a chair with his arms crossed trying to be serious while colonel steele jr. is causally sitting in chair)
colonel steele jr: well sometimes when i get bored i just uh open up my figures and models and i like to play war games or conquest or pretend to destroy armies and nations, sometimes i like painting my figures of military vehicles or army guys or warhammer stuff or something like that. and there's something that epsilon (epsilon eyes kinda widen at the mention of him) does that i'm trying to get into, it's called origami and what you do is take these papers and you make animals or-
epsilon: (interrupts and is behaving dismissive) what- what, um i don't know what colonel steele is talking about, i-i did no such thing.
epsilon and steele jr (talking over each other): but epsilon what are talking about, you did. "no i didn't", you showed me, you took the paper "NO", you even gave me some. "shut up steele", you got it from san rio i think *SIGH* or something, "i'm gonna hurt you." (colonel steele jr slumps in chair and stops talking after that threat, looking down.)
black hat bot (a little scared): well on my free time sometimes i just like to hide, and you know. . . i like to stay away from black hat as much as possible because he really scares me a lot and he, you know when he gets angry he throws up his fists and he just makes me, very nervous and you know i-i just don't like the look of his hat, it's all black and sharp and it's. . . wait a minute, ARE YOU ROLLING?!, oh no! oh no! is this gonna be on tv? oh my god. . . uh lord black hat if you're listening i'm sorry, i don't think your hat is sharp at all, i think it's very nice yes um, oh man, i could be in big trouble can i please have the camera please, oh god, um i gotta get out of here.
Incinerator (in deep bellowing voice): I LIKE. . . TO PLAY. . . CHECKERS.
interviewer and witch: have uh (looks at interviewer then looks away) you ever considered doing anything else besides being a villain (looks at interviewer again to look away in another direction) to uh. . . uh excuse me. . . um excuse me, what are you doing?
Madame du Sang: i'm thinking of becoming a great movie star in hollywood~. . . but what i really want to do is direct~
bonnivet: i wanna be in the IND 500!~
starduck: i wanna break the sound barrier!
punk rotten: i just wanna stay home and eat chips. . .
La Baraja Guard: a professional fencer.
rex: a sewer technician.
Hazthma: a popsicle~ (holding a Popsicle)
Black Flame laughs maniacally as flames shoot from his hands.
*the end, as recovery of interviews is still ongoing*
