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trying to work through centuries of issues like

Louis: you spent $68 on hair conditioner?!

Lestat: $68 is a small price to pay for self-esteem Louis!

Kidnapper: I have your son

Lestat: we don’t have a son

Kidnapper: then who’s the teen that called me a bitch and threatened to cut my hands off?

Louis: oh my god they have Armand

Oh to be Daniel Molloy, dying of alcohol abuse but dancing to some sweet 80s music in a crop top on the island his vampire bf bought him

Armand: I’ve decided to change my behavior. From now on I’m going to be nicer and-

Lestat: *walks into the room*

Armand: Lestat, you motherfucker, you’re really testing me, huh?

Armand is the Final Girl in a horror movie that you find out was the killer the whole time

Lestat at the end of iwtv:

ahaha what if I gave you the choice I never had..... haha jk... unless?

#vampire chronicles textpost